MY BLOOD TRAIL

Of Love, Relationships, Friendships, The Gay Culture And Another Prayer (***Even More Updates)

2010-02-20T13:10:00.030+08:00

Another Fervent Prayer
Oh God, like I have been praying to you fervently and intensely the last couple of days, today I am appealing to you once more.

A Nice, Warm, Funny, Caring And Communicative Beau Like Him (If This Is Real Or Unless It Is A Learned PR/Sales Thingy)
I really wished it was HIM that I am attached to.

But maybe he is already seeing someone (why doesn't he tell me when I asked him?). Were they those people I saw? I really dont know what else to do because I have done almost everything I can to stay in touch but there is no response.

So if you don't think it is HIM, grant me my beau to support me at this hour of need.

I can't connect to the older crowd because there is that cynicism, that baggage and that lack of ideas to communicate with.

Or a too culturally diverse people because of a living divide like language, lifesytle, habits and practices. Not Filipnos or wateva. Nor gals.

You know if I care too deeply about someone, it affects me all the way. My mental and physical health is affected as HIS case has shown.

I pray to you that my other requests will be met .

A Place Of My Own
Finding a suitable room to move out to and eventually buying my place REAL SOON. Some nature? Some water? Some long-distance running and walking facilities and strength training spots nearby.

A Job And Income
And a job or projects to keep me going. I can't be dealing with the motley crew in all kinds of vocation. It has got to have some intellectual stimulation. Of ideas, technology, current affairs, etc. So education and training looks like it.

Your humble servant.

Do I Really Need To Repeat Myself?
I hope this gets through ONCE MORE.

I will know who my BEAU is when I see HIM. There must be that CONNECTION. There were quite a few but it seems like the relationship (if there was one in the first place) didn't work out and I wasn't their type.

I think HE likes fair mates (or maidens) like I do in some cases. But certainly I don't like the ONEs who are his friends or colleagues.

Just too bad when I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I accept his looks, his roles and his skin condition. That was how far I went. Even if he were to be of a different creed, I WILL STILL LOVE HIM.

His Was Just A Case Of Pleasing EveryOne And A MindLess Bend To EveryOne's Calling
Unfortunately I feel that in HIS case, he was just getting himself into all kinds of toxic relationships and still wanna be in them.

Stupid as that sounds. All kinds of bad relationships. One day he is gonna be stuck in one forever.
Mindlessly trying to be popular and bending to one and all's wishes. Only sharing the good times and fun AND NOT THE BAD TIMES. That is what his friendships are all about.

Let us see how far this is gonna get him.

And equating a worthwhile life with a hectic schedule.

Once More, That Space And Distance And Distinguishment Between Friends And Relationships
It isn't gonna be ethnics, mixed or the UNHOLY TRINITY. I have to be very aware and keep my space and distance from them to avoid the CULTURAL divide.

Colleagues will just be colleagues.Friends are friends.We will maintain cordial , friendly and professional relations, that is all.

There will be that special few who will be close friends and that ONE AND ONLY elusive and special BEAU. They will be my priorities NOT options or activity partners. REAL sharing and communication.

While I prefer a one-on-one, everything else is open provided if I click with ALL (meaning guys only) in the party.

I can't be in a relationship with a pair of CONJOINED TWINS when I only like Mick but not Mitch, can I?

Though I really prefer a ONE-on-ONE.

What Happens In The Gay Community Happens In Other Communities As Well Of Course
I am not criticising the GAY CULTURE per se.

I naturally blog about it because I am a part of it, observing and experiencing it.

It happens too in the other types of communities.

The Gay Culture - Then , Now And The Future
I am just saying that the GAY CULTURE CAN'T ONLY BE about being indecently fashionable, a flesh parade, a meat rack, appearances, pretty boy looks, physique, muscles, drugs, debauchery, body piercings and designs, all kinds of portrayals of imagery and acting, sex parties, clubbling, intoxication, cruising, dick sizes, all kinds of perversion and in most cases, a face pic is a must for a meet-up?

I suppose we all wanna look good but if a relationship or friendship is premised solely on that, it must be seriously WRONG!

It must also centre on building a life at home, spending time together like home-cooked meals, household chores, home movies, love, hugs, kisses, cuddles, consummation, commitment, conversations, sharing good and bad times, encouragement, mental and moral support, kindness, open, honest and truthful communication.

Spending time together outside. Sports, movies, nature, strolls, the sea, the sun, leisure activities and social networking. Work. Character, personality, chemistry, resolve, sacrifices, selflessness, attention and the like.

AND faithfulness.

Somehow this isn't happening often enough, so can I see a TRANSFORMATION?

We Are Not One, We Are To Ourselves

Don't count on the community for support.

You should be happy enough if they don't break you up with your beau, mislead us all and script the community to our condemnation, damnation and death. And more myth and lies and folklore. It is about money, about debauchery, about all the above culture I wrote about and about being a business.

The old and the young are the same. Leading us to the BLACK HOLE and not the LIGHT!

That is what WE ARE.

I Am A Total Nervous Wreck And I Can't Wait To Move Out, Start Work And Get Into A Really Serious Relationship
First, The Living Evirons
I am pretty anxious and it shows.

First my living environment. I don't enjoy the company of the people I am living with and the physical environment sucks.

It is like living with my family all over again. My sisters and my brother and MOM (especially when we were young). No connection, no bonding, no communication, no support, no understanding or love.

Second, A Failed Attempt At A Relationship
Eversince that fateful night, I have been feeling like a MONSTER and feeling very BAD for what I did. But I hope HE understands that it is because I lOVE HIM.

Everyone else will just laugh along, say nice things, sing praises, go along with the flow, engage in a public relations exercise, flatter and try to please you JUST TO BE "FIENDS".

A true friend will tell you LIKE IT IS so that you see the OTHER SIDE of a coin.

Like He-Ape. Always praising She-Ape. And buying us coffee (to keep us awake during teaching sessions?). A public relations exercise or corporate welfarism?

Third, My Age, My Life-Span And My Resources When Compared To The Younger And Richer
Some more, age is not on my side. You don't have to put me through all these indignation when half my life is already gone.

Let it befall the young and rich and those who wanna keep up. Being younger, they have better coping capacities and a longer life-span to restart all over. And they have the financial and social resources to deal with it.

I really can't. I am not getting younger. I am at my wit's end and on the brink and WITH NO RESOURCES TO COPE , financial, social or wateva.

It is like despite telling my dentist that, he is not getting it and subjecting me to all the indignity he puts me through. The protraction of the dental treatment though I appreciate him waiving off the last few treatment costs.

And The Rest............
What's more, I am homeless (flitting from rented room to rented room and holed up with all kinds of non-supportive people whom I don't like), jobless, beauless and money is running low .

I need all the mental support, comfort, hugs, love, encouragement, kisses and cuddles I can get.

I am NOT GETTING IT from HIM and worse, we broke up. So I am really down in the dumps and a TOTAL NERVOUS WRECK and ALL ALONE AND WITH NOBODY TO CARE FOR ME !

I am a wreck and I can only EMO all by myself, always thinking about HIM with tears in my eyes while trying to keep up appearances and to HOLD UP as best as I can.

All I Want Is A Sweet Home Valentine (**Even More Updates)

2010-02-13T12:49:00.038+08:00

A Relationship And Friendship On Hold Is Just As Bad As A Long Distance Relationship
To illustrate even further how pathethic friendships or relationships have become, I actually have someone who asks me to hang on till after he has finished his "cultural" week at the university.

I mean if I am close to that person, I don't think I will do that (but I will if they are people I HATE to the core). Anyway, that is it. I am not gonna be there for him when that date draws near.

Nobody puts a relationship or friendship on hold like that, does anyone?

Can you imagine your kid or beau needs you and you do that? Unimaginable right?

Love Should Be Simple And Easy, Not Complicated And Convoluted
And I hate convoluted and multiple relationship-way. All I want is ONE SIMPLE BEAU and ONE SIMPLE LOVE.

Is that so hard to ask?

And I don't care if love complicates life. We all need it. Otherwise why are family units formed and people get coupled? Get this into your thick head.

Alarm Bells Ringing - Read The Literature And Be Very Afraid

A reminder to the fuckees in our community.

Please read the literature. Even though it may not be explicit, I am sure you can put two and two together and link prostatitis and prostate cancer with your kinda activity.

Do you wanna risk this to yourself?

I Already Knew What I Wanted From The OutSet. Please Get This Right!
Let me blog about this once more.

I already know what I wanted when I was in junior college and during my National Service days. It started with my unhappy family background and got progressively worse in school and NS, seeing the fakers at work.

It is just that those PIGs around me were gutless, spineless, mindless (no will and mind of their own and just bend with the wind), mentally retarded and TOTALLY CHILDISH AND IMMATURE and ABOVE ALL, game players.

At any age.

I can't find the ONE (or if I did, they were just NOT READY OR wavering OR I couldn't express this to them because it was FORBIDDEN OR he was seeing someone OR wateva).

And I don't own a home to build this life with HIM.

A Home Valentine
For me, my Valentine's Day is spending it with HIM at home. Hugs, kisses, cuddles, kind words, encouragement, love, household chores, meals, home movies and the like.

Sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings and fears and so on. Chatting and sharing and more chatting and sharing and being honest, open, frank and truthful.

Yeah and SEX! Why not?

I Have A Right To Pick My Beau Just As I Will Respect HIS Right To (Though I Am Just Not Ready To Let Go Without Clear Signals From His Own Horse's Mouth That I Am Not The One )
You do not dictate my choice of a beau. I will know it when I see HIM. It isn't this NEW TENANT. Neither is it Gerald's faker of an older brother. Nor is it that chief tenant at the new place IF I am ever moving there. Nor is it Gerald.

Look. I am not trying to convert anyone's sexuality. It is already there. Latent or open. It is all up to the individual. But because of environmental pressures, we all deny, suppress, conform or whatever.

All I can do is to try and bring it to the fore and the individual decides.

And only with my beau will I do that.

So the issue is not conversion, confusion or wateva. It is the issue of not LETTING HIM get into the dark rut which is the other side of the gay world. The DARK SIDE of all those endless cruising and SEX and debauchery.

I do have that pair of eyes which tells me a lot and I am all knowing. There is a Sanskrit word for that in Hindu astrology. It is mahashiri or something. That is why the Hindus are probably more attuned.

All I know is that the person is HIM.

These Are His Friends And Colleagues Whom I Am Concerned About
I see a lot of ME in him. He is what he is today because of the faker GAYs and whoever else friends he is hanging out with. The blind leading the blind. I have seen two of them and I am not impressed.

One was like Ben. Speaks like him and fake like him. Does that explain Ben's miseries in his relationship with Vic? Because Vic knows him well. And Vic isn't absolved either because of the "stuff" they both do.

The other I could tell that he is just another spineless and gutless wimpy creature.

And there were several colleagues of his that I can also tell who they are. I just wanna warn him of the dangers. One was a HIMBO like that fucktard holed up next to my room at Ben's.

That is why I said his fate isn't gonna be pleasant if he persists in hanging out with THEM or whoever else I have not met. It is his propensity to hang out with the wrong crowd.

He Is A Part Of Me And I, Him
They are not bringing him to the fore and the light. Which is a home-based life with a partner.

They are bringing him to the dark tunnel which is a world of men's clubs, pubs, all kinds of debauchery, fashion, looks, physique, beauty, dick size, the whole gay culture and GOD-KNOWS-WHAT-ELSE and their own skewed belief systems!

I wanna bring him there together with ME. His personality and chemistry is mine. It exactly matches. I want him to be ULTIMATELY himself which he isn't yet and his "FIENDS" are just feeding him. More deceit, lies and faking.

He is certainly already GAY. And I can guess the roles and all. He is trying to change and pretend or otherwise. All I want him to know is that I ACCEPT AND LIKE HIM AS HE IS.

In fact, I detect a slight (maybe not so serious) autism or something in him. Maybe he is a GEEK?

But I do find him authentic.

I Can't Live With Fakers AnyMore
That explains why I was a loner and independent most of the time. It is so HARD to find a genuine person. So many are fakers and we have to fake along.

I have blogged about how I didn't fit in at home with the biggest faker of all, my eldest brother and yes, my dear sisters. And when I was living alone, I found myself.

But guess what? The foreign tenants who came aknocking were just bad fakers too and so problems arose.

At least grant me that sanctuary to be myself and with my beau where we are both GENUINE. That is all I ask. We can't be facing fakers everywhere. Home, work and at play. It is terrifying and dehumanising.

I can't be living with FAKERS anymore. It is just heart-wrenching.

Because We Were Led To The Dark Hole That Is The Making Of The Environment, So We Are Where We Are Today
Because you can see where I and so many others have ended up because of THIS.

Old And New Schools?
And there is NO question about new and old schools.

If there is, why are so many old songs being revived or remixed today by new and younger singers and there is a following among the NEXT generation of listeners that cut across the generation gap.

Explain that.

Thank You Once More My Lord, My God! Now Help Me With These Other Requests (***Updated)

2010-02-10T22:04:00.020+08:00

I Am Well Again After A Really Bad Swell And Rest For Two Days, Thanks Once Again My Lord, My God
I have to blog about this yet again.

My prayer got answered. My mumps have receded and I get to exercise and go back to my usual routine once more . If this is because I have wronged HIM, then so be it!

You will remember my past personal prayers in my heart when I had an excruciating back pain, a new medical condition and my cataract operation.

I can only sing praises to God in my heart and here on my blog!

But Gerald Was Harassing Me To Move
I had given him notice to move because of the NEW tenant. I am seriously not into this NEW TENANT OR Gerald's brother. The faker!

And he called the police like BULLDOG did. Which was good because once again I can reason with them that I need an extension because of the CNY festivities.

Though it was really irritating coming on top of my illness. He will get his just desserts one day if not now, maybe when he is older. Then he will know.

This Is A Collaboration For Sure
And I am pretty sure the NEW TENANT is his friend. Gerald can't possibly got him so fast and this NEW TENANT is from the uniformed group I think.

There you have it! Our very own uniformed personnel! Just get outta my sight and way PIG! He was harassing me this evening by smirking and dirtying the loo. I will let him have it if he tries it again.

If this is Gerald's gameplan and he is doing anything behind my back, he will get HIS KARMA. Like cracking my Iphone and getting contacts. I will pity those who hook up with him. They should know better how unstable he must be if he is REALLY DIVORCED as he claims.

I already have other postulates that this is YET ANOTHER DRAMA scripted and staged.

Not Bad But There Were Still Several Laughable And Regrettable Statements Made
This HOME team whom Gerald called is good.

The one that handled the "assault" incident was not too bad either but there were several things the police officers said which I know they/he will regret in their lives one day.

First, he said that I was nothing to HIM so why should I care and second, this "assault" term he brought up. I wanted to kick down the ERP gantry and laugh my fucking ass off at this.

O God, Doesn't AnyOne Knows About The Affairs Of The Heart?
I can assure you he must have never loved anybody in his entire life before just like that sissy ass-hole poly gay. One day it will befall them or someone close and they will know. Or that they/he will NEVER KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!

I have more than enough of my share of broken hearts. So enough is enough!

There were a few more regrettable statements but I won't blog about them as they were so passe.

But still they handled the whole incident not too badly.

There You Have It Folks! Age Isn't It!
After this incident, I will try and think if Gerald is still cute or HE IS JUST AN UNGROWN UP father of a toddler girl (like The Punk who is already in his mid-thirties) who still wanna engage in trickery and games.

Like Fat Bloke who is so much older and still immatured to be doing what he is doing. Or my brother or those really old dudes who are misbehaving at cruising spots.

Oh please Old Farts, enough already!

I Knew What I Wanted Long Time Ago
So stop scripting this for me. I will know the correct BEAU when I see it.

I will live for TRUE LOVE and not any conveniences. Happiness is very important to me.

From the outset I already know what I wanted in my late teens to my NSF period. So get this very right.

Missing Him And With Much Pain In My Heart
I am missing HIM very much. I had enjoyed bringing him meals when he was working. It felt good taking care of someone you love. Those were the only times I got to see him as he won't let me any other way.

As it were, I was already restrained by all his impositions of time and he wasn't communicating clearly the best time to bring him food then.

In fact if this had continued, I was contemplating cooking again and bringing him home-cooked food.

But alas look what had happened!

All Your Fucking Environmental Stresses Did Me In
It was really all the stresses that made me do what I did that fateful night!

All those losses and thefts by your people. Then relationship problems and all those QUEENS at my school. Followed by living at those places I lived in.

How Can I Win Him Back?
HE has said he doesn't wanna see me again. At least through the police officers. Why does he hate me when I love him so much? Does he wanna see me dead before he will even wanna contact me again?

I have done most of what I think I should do and I really do not know how else to fight for his love.

Well we really didn't have a relationship in the first place and I was "nothing" in his eyes.

If he is a faker, then SO BE IT and we aren't meant for each other! And he will face his KARMA.

I Will Have To Pray Over This
Sigh. I have to pray over this as well.

Lord, you have granted me my prayers in earnest so far.

Grant me that I will get a job or some projects soon in the education/training field. That I will move to a better place than this and that I will buy back my house soon. And that a loved one will appear if it isn't HIM.

Or at least guide me on how to WIN HIS LOVE? I am really pathetic and bad at this sorta thing.

That is all I will pray for.

However, These Remain Steadfast And UnChanged.
I will not turn back to any former employers especially He-Ape. There will be NO politics for me.

My beau will NOT BE AN ETHNIC and those I mentioned before. Unless of course it happens to be HIM (he can be any creed as I already know him and I love him).

I will not get in touch with my family anymore and I have severed all ties with them. In fact my third sister called just when my phone battery life went off and so it is meant to be.

And everything else I said before stands.

It Is Just My Life And One Life And If I Can't Live It The Way I Want It, I Will Have To Die For It
I will die for them if I am ever pushed into marrying a gal and doing a job which is NOT MY VOCATION! And all those other things.

Let the wimps do it and suffer for it.

I will die for MINE!

Are You Responsible? You Will Get Your Just Dessert In Due Course Sooner Or Later (***Even More Updates)

2010-02-03T10:31:00.018+08:00

Mumps For Almost A Week Now
Eversince the fight that fateful night and the start of my cough and flu, I have been developing mumps but today I just notice how bad the swell had gotten and I am praying over this as well.

See what stress can really do to your body! Psychosomatic disorder!

These Are Some Things You Can Learn From The Chinese
Yes, I am half Chinese, this half coming from my maternal lineage.

By now, it will be clear to all how the true blue Chinese men pride themselves and are usually serious-minded. They mean what they say and do what they mean. I can't speak for the wimps, the money bois or some of the other Chinese though.

We are not pikers and we do have compassion for our fellow beings. At least for me, I don't wanna become a stinking gutless corporate rat, working entirely for money at everybody's expense.

And we are not a trivial or a frivolous race. Neither are we shallow nor superficial but deep thinkers and doers. We are usually forthright and straight to the point, never meandering.

We have some fundamental values and beliefs which we will stick to and die for if necessary.

Of course we enjoy good humor, the occasional drama but we take relationships seriously and demand faith, trust, loyalty, openness, honesty and monogamity from our life partner.

We work hard for our money and we hanker for a stable home environment, a beau , good friends and company.

At least this applies to me, a half Chinese.

And though I may disagree with Mom on many occasions and that is only because of a clash of civilisation and religion, she REALLY represents all that and more.

Lots Of Pain, Remorse, Guilt , Sadness And Most Of All Shock
I am still in shock at what I did that day. That was SO NOT ME! It was like the other impetuous, deranged and totally uncontrolled half of me. The uglier, darker, Mr Hyde, midnight side of me.

I don't feel good breaking up with HIM but since he isn't reciprocating and all and GOD knows what is happening in his personal and love life, I guess this is the best choice for the moment.

I will HATE HIM TO THE CORE if he is playing the field which I suspect it is the case. If HE ALREADY HAS SOMEONE, JUST LET ME KNOW AND I AM OUTTA HIS LIFE FOR GOOD.

I am gonna apologize for my actions that day and for that I feel pain, sadness, remorse , guilt and shock.

This Was What It Should Have Been
When I should be kissing him on HIS cheeks and lips and all over, I am instead throwing punches. When I should be making love to him, cuddling and cupping his head to plant a kiss, I have hurt him badly.

I will do it with flowers and a card inscribed with my heartfelt message, what with Valentine's Day just 10 or 11 days away. The rest is up to him.

I can't really apologize for what I say though if it is true he is doing what I think he is doing.

Just too bad that he is almost everything I want in a beau and just right for me BUT THIS HAS TO HAPPEN.

Get Outta My Life And It Isn't A Life Anyway!
By now, I am jaded and sick and tired. So please leave me alone if you belong to the category of people I HATE.

I am still getting messages from past ethnic acquaintances (whom I am not keen) and ethnics are always appearing in my life at odd places. The gym, public places and so on. I am pretty sure they are the ones who are responsible for my current predicament.

First The Fundamentalists, Then The Various Communities
And the gay, ex-gay, bi or whatever community JUST ISN'T HELPING! They are driving wedges between us with all that they are saying. Instigating and breaking us all up.

The likes of Daryl Chan and Chris Fong, The Grand Eunuchs who will die tragically one day.

So get the message straight and FUCK OFF from my life.

They are fiends with axes to grind and whose lives got screwed. So they wanna avenge it on some other people and screw up their lives.

Go pick your fucking prey and DIE FROM IT, FUCKTARDS! As you surely will.

What Is The Meaning Of All This? Just Lay Off And Fuck Off!
I am not sure what I am clinging on for. I am gonna wait a while more before deciding what to do with my life.

With no income and money running out, I will just probably end it. And I will only work in the education field and no where else.

That is what the EVIL scriptors want it and they shall get it.

But let us see what will happen to their lives next! Will it be any better? I don't think so. They will get their own JUST DESSERT ONE FINE DAY and die from it!

My Iphone Went Dead And Resurrected About 12 Hours Later

My IPhone may just blank out for a short while but it has never died on me for a full 12 hours or more.

It just did and came back alive again this morning!

What a relief! Otherwise I have to send it for repair and the queues and waiting time and downtime must be atrociously long!

Sneaking Out For An Evening Breeze To Escape The "Summer" Heat And The "Office Hour" Faker

It is almost like summer here in Singapore.

Though I keep my windows open, the sun beats in and you can feel the hot blazing afternoon heat plus there isn't an air-conditioner here.

Once the sun sets, I sneak out to a local cafe just to enjoy the cool evening breeze.

Otherwise I will just suffocate in a cooped-up, all windows shut tight flat and a faker to boot and that ethnic tenant. I hope we all know where we stand by now.

OMFG!

It Is All Over And I Am Glad (Even More Updates)

2010-01-28T23:58:00.026+08:00

It Isn't Him - A Cowardly Sissy Mental Retard
God did not answer my prayer today.

It just isn't meant to be and so be it and I am through with him. Another faker, sweet-talker and immature retard. Fat Bloke, Bulldog, Psycho and the rest at their ages didn't exactly prove any better either.

They will suffer for it as they already are.

I am glad it is settled and this is because the mental retard just will not grant me that one heart to heart talk showing how immature he is despite being the whole of 22 years.

Grow up ass-hole PIG-shit!

Sigh! Another One Who Isn't Worth It! Spineless, Gutless Mental Retard
And yet again, he isn't worth it! Worthless, spineless, gutless, mentally retarded player! And a serial liar to boot.

Age Is Not It
And it isn't about age. From the very young to the very old. They can be just as bad. Everyone knows that. You just see the kinda old men who visit the prostitution areas.

Already I have a faker at home aged 34 and Gerald isn't grown up yet despite being a father in his mid-twenties.

Seems like the faker is gonna move out while the Indian Eurasian is moving in. I am looking for a place and shifting out soon the moment he steps in.

Don't Accept Gifts And Trifle With Anyone's Feelings If You Don't Like The Person! I Won't
If he doesn't like me why was he accepting my meals but he was throwing them away so I was told but would I know that?

For me I will be very clear about how relationships are from the outset and I have told him I have just gotten personal with him. Otherwise I will treat him at a professional distance.

It Felt Good Punching Him, In Retaliation Of All Those Pokers Who Did What They Did To Me
I requested for that meet-up after work and he slinked away despite me telling him that I am waiting outside. I just wanna sit down at Coffee Bean like we usually do and have a chat.

But he slinked away.

So when I caught up with him at the taxi-stand and I asked him to follow me to the cafe and be done with, he refused.

A Fiery End To An Emotionally-Laden Relationship
That was it. All my impetuity, emotions and anger got the better of me. The anxiety he put me through. The worry. And he didn't care a fart and he had communicatively cut me off completely.

He was just texting and answering others' calls and treating me like dirt. Going out with his friends and have time for them while NOT ME. And he couldn't be honest and open and tell me what was going on in his life.

So why drag me on?

This Was The Moment All Hell And Fury Broke Loose
A fight erupted. I must have punched him or something and pushed him to the ground. A pull and a drag and his tee got torn. He almost pushed me to the glass wall which showed how vindictive he was.

He started running to the shop and as I was down with flu and cough, I was actually panting while trying to catch up. While inside the shop, I slapped him some more. He deserved all of it!

He will do all those stupid pranks he did but he won't meet me for a while and settle affairs of the heart? Now whoever has him as a girlfriend or boyfriend must be pretty lucky! I envy him/her.

At Least I Got Part Of My Past Demons Exorcised - All Those Wimps!
It felt really good for all those gutless, spineless, boneless wimps I have met throughout my life. Who won't stand up, who won't fight for what is real and who just wanna have fun on the side. They are just mocking us! Emotionally trifling and manipulating us!

The likes of Chong Beng, Allan, my Chinese ex-roomie and the rest.

Causing Me Pain And Emotional Turmoil
The slap was really on behalf of his parents. Just like that China student at my home. He was turning my whole place upside down and he was the first person I slapped across the face.

By Now, I Feel Pain, Remorse And Guilt
How could love turn into so much hate? Is love really a battlefield? I would have wanted to kiss him instead and make love to him.

So why did the first step turn out to be a fight?

I really want to cuddle him and nurse his wounds. I must have hurt him so bad. But at least they are physical wounds which will heal. What about all my past psychological and emotional wounds so many people have inflicted on me.

My family. My friends. My classmates. My NSF buddies and colleagues. My past loves. Do you think they have healed completely?

I Can Predict His Destiny
I am really glad it is over and done with. He will live with my cusses because I can easily predict what will happen in his life based on the kinda temperament he displays.

It wouldn't be pretty I guess whatever and whoever he chooses.

Elusive But I Can Live Without It If It Never Happens
I will have to wait for SOMEONE more worthwhile IF EVER to turn up.

If he doesn't, it is ok, I will live with it.

There will probably NEVER BE ONE.

You Wanna Fight For These Skunks?
So at the end of the day, is Singapore, Singaporeans (whoever you are), the gay community and all the rest worth fighting for?

The Gays Are Not The Gay Relationship Gurus, OtherWise They Would Be In One
From drama serials to quotes. We are already filling our heads with nonsensical notions of how love stories should pan out. And egging our friends on in all the wrong direction.

And from a student to the expert who has never been in relationships before, they all wanna dish out stupid advice. The fucking gay poly sissy to Chris Fong. Who are they to say the things they say! Pure nonsense.

At least I have my fair share of relationships to know something.

Stop Scripting Our Gay Relationship To Death
Does he think I am a public relations exercise? Someone to maintain friendly ties with so that in future if he needs a favour, he can get it. Or of convenience. As and when he needs company. A relationship of convenience and time.

That is now the quality of relationships. Reduced to this sad state.

And is he playing up to the local and expat straight and bi community for the same reason?

Will it last? Let us wait and see. History has shown us the likes of Suharto and the rest and how their allies fall by the wayside when they fall too. It has also shown us examples of what money can do to people and where they can end up.

So once again, will you fight for these skunks ?

And Get This Once More - You Seem To Be Hearing And Intellectually Impaired
They are still shoving the old farts into my face at cruising spots. And this other ethnic who works at the gym is actually living around my estate. If he harasses me again like he did at the gym, he is gonna get it from me.

As it is, I have moved my shoe rack further away from the Indian Eurasian's shoes. I have taken an even closer look at him and he is old. Looks like a fair-skinned Indian to me. He is definietly a different guy from the one I saw the other night.

And I am not smiling or talking with him which is another sure sign I am not interested in him. So I hope he gets the message.

Is this another gameplan of yours? It won't succeed. I see this old Hindi/wateva dude in the daytime and the faker at nite.

So it is a 24-hr surveillance or tag-team thingy. FUCK YOU MAN! Don't you get the message? I AM NOT INTERESTED. Not even for all the money in the world.

Imagine If I Were To Be With People I Hate
If my love for HIM could turn so bad, IMAGINE if I were to hook up with BIMBS and those whom I HATE TO THE CORE. I will be even more violent with people I HATE.

So please, get this really right people!

You Are My Lord, My God And My Saviour (Even More Updated Updates)

2010-01-25T21:00:00.026+08:00

I have to tell this story because it is real.

Like a few of my previous blogs where I wrote about how a little prayer on my own has helped me overcome my severe back pain at one time and other misfortunes.

This despite being a non-church goer for the simple reason that I do not place my trust in mere fallible mortals and wavering between a free-thinker and agnostic. Still I trust there is a GOD somewhere.

And mere fallible mortals do not just include the high priests and priestesses but doctors, lawyers, educators, sages, personal trainers, real estate agents, insurance agents and the rest.

So when my new medical condition manifested its symptoms, I was frozen in shock. All I could think of was to quickly do a "wiki" to research what some possible causes were.

Immediately I threw away my half pack of ciggies as that was one of the likely culprits and till today I have never turned back.

As I couldn't do much, I began to pray very fervently and intensely. I asked the Lord to help guide me and to come to my aid in this time of need.

And there you have it, in the last week, the symptoms have all but disappeared.

Most likely benign idiopathic and due to all the stresses I suffered the past year.

Thank you my Lord, my God and my Saviour.

An Aside - Culture Shocks - First, Chat Channels
When I first entered a chat channel, it was a culture shock to me.

The kinda language used, the requests and the things being uttered. All kinds of sexual perversion.

I was expecting decent chats and topical conversation ranging from politics to social/economic issues and personal life experiences like family and relationships.

Not sex chats. Can't the two be on different channels and wavelengths?

Gradually I adapted and went along. Fortunately or unfortunately. That was part of the mantra of "Go with the flow" thingy and all the RUBBISH you spew out. But did it lead anywhere?

Even today, the foreign chat channels are really sick. Though I can understand some of the cultural and ethnic familial backgrounds are centred like that (the kinda familial dysfunction) and that is why I wouldn't wanna get too close to too culturally diverse a populace.

And Then Pornography - Do They Serve Any Purpose And Do We Need Them?
Just like when I first viewed pornography.

And as I said before I didn't have access to them till like when I was living on my own. And that is a very long time. I didn't need them because I could develop love, care and passion for some of my JC classmate, my NS buddies and yes the NUS dudes too.

Going Subcutaneously Beyond Being Skin Deep
Isn't that the way to start off first? A friendship and relationship, care and concern.

And pretty boys, handsome hunks and models are just that. A physical attraction and once we go beyond that, we look at more. Like character, personality, heart, values, ethos and so on. Frankly I get very sick of them. Just another face without depth.

So please let us try to map out a Singapore way of life uniquely ours despite some cultural differences.

All I Am Asking Is That He Pays Some Attention To Me And A Commitment - Look At Those Who Don't - Their Ages And The Places They Are Still Visiting
Otherwise I am like forced into isolation again.

I will only speak with people I like and nobody else. And isolation is gonna force me to do things which are NOT ME.

So please! Can we build a life together and I really don't need the rest.

Spas, men's clubs, chat channels, pornography, nightclubs and cruising spots.

Does he wanna follow many of the other gays' example? Many are not attached and look at their ages now. Especially the foreigners and they are visiting and living in Third World countries for reasons known to themselves.

The pathetic end and ages and they are still not waking up to this sad fact. Endless, mindless philandering and wandering, forever playing the field. Unable to form relationships or don't want to and the whole culture isn't helping any.

Once More - Stop The Self-Mutiny And Massacre Within Our Community
We are already onto self-mutiny, massacre, cannabalising ourselves and killing each other softly with our words in our very own community.

Them - They Are Trying To Knock Us Down
Then there is the media, the gals to contend with, parents, teachers and the older generation transmitting the same to the next generation.

We must stop this first by supporting each other and don't assign gender roles. Those who choose to transgender should but let us not plant the idea that the world is strictly divided into them and the rest.

And it doesn't help that conservative ethnics and fundamentalists (who won't accept gays even if we are monogamously coupled and decent living) among us and foreign Third Worlders with a different set of values are adding to the pressure cooker on one end of the spectrum and state laws are not helping any.

While at the other end of the spectrum, we are having the too highly sophisticated and sexually hyper First Worlders who wanna party and engage in debauchery.

Can we have it somewhere in between? A moderate?

AnyOne Can Succumb
Even the toughest and most hardened can and will crumble in the face of undue pressure and STOP THIS MADNESS of killing ourselves by trying to test our strength, character and so on. PURE NONSENSE! Be it straights, bis or gays or ex-gays.

Fiends with axes to grind perhaps?

As Long As We Are Happy With Each Other And Our Roles
I am happy with HIM just as I am sure HE is too. I know HIM as he must know me. I am there to support him, steer him off stereo-types and LOVE HIM to death.

Another Fervent And Intense Prayer
I pray to you my Lord that our relationship will develop, grow and blossom.

That I do not have to worry over him and that he is sensible and doing all the right things although I can only guess but not really know what is going on.

I pray for openness, honesty, communication and the truth in our relationship as I am doing this all the while. I hope he isn't playing the field or something just as I am refraining from doing so though he is isolating me communicatively.

I know for a fact he hasn't been telling me everything and the whole truth. I am saddened and just wish he would so I can move on.

He can't be at that age where he is so immature, can he? My love for him is genuine and sincere and I hope he can see and understand that.

Grow Up

And as another aside, I wish Gerald and his "brother" will also grow up and stop playing tricks, smirking and so on. The fakers that they are. It doesn't inspire confidence and trust in them. And I only wanna be with genuine people not fakers. Not the fakers at the gym, not at home, not anywhere.

One day they will face the music.

If Gerald's account is true, he got a golden handshake from the Armed Forces and that could precisely be the reason - the lack of seriousness, playfulness and trickery.

Grow up, for heaven's sake, as Daryl the Eunuch will put it but then, he sucks lollipops in class. Just like Chris.

And then there is He-Ape. Isn't he like taunted as "red bean milk" in his former school before and that really shows who he is and he expects everyone to follow his example.

A misfit and rebel who got kicked out of the public school system. Brother and 2nd sister too and they wanna project that onto the rest of us.

Mentor: Teacher, Terrorist And Traitor

I chanced upon this book : "Mentor: Teacher, Terrorist And Traitor". Fuck you bastard! You have screwed us enough and torn us asunder.

Just go drop dead somewhere and never resurrect in HELL AND DAMNATION!

I Have Got Another "Him" For An Emotional Prop While "He" Remains My Ideal Beau (More Updates)

2010-01-21T15:47:00.019+08:00

Another HIM For An Emotional Prop
I was really glad I could have a heart to heart talk with another HIM. To me it was a totally honest, brutal, open and frank chat.

He is the first person I told my life story from almost the beginning to the end. For the other HIM, I only told like half my life story and my ex-classmates like Sabby and Claire only know dribs and drabs.

Of course Allan was the first person I ever came out to and whom I told very little of what happened at my home.

So really nobody knows about me except for this handful.

I felt relieved in a sense.

That is because I can be honest and open. You know the whole culture here of deceit, lies and dishonesty. They want you to be honest while they ARE NOT! Fuck you man!

Simple Person Trying To Eke Out A Living
It is true that I am a simple person.

Higher education, work, home and a beau. That is all I yearn for and I already knew this from the outset because of all that was happening at home.

But the workplace was just trying to match you with gals and my personal life came into scrutiny and question which wasn't their business. I must smile when they want me to like He-Ape and now I am also imposing this on others.

I can't be this and I can't be that. What the heck!

And because they themselves were probably like that, they projected themselves onto me and thought I was doing stuff on the side.

That included brother and 2nd sister of course.

Did My 2nd Sister Do That?
But wait. My nephews and niece of my 2nd sister attended He-Ape's school and I have seen my brother-in-law once at the branch I worked. So did they instigate He-Ape to fire me? That is 2nd sister for me.

She got into an accident recently and there was talk about collecting insurance coverage. I really hope that is the grapevine.

Is she charting my life like she wanna chart my nephews' and niece's? She wants my niece to study "nursing" thinking perhaps she will be a clinican one day. She is the jealous, conniving and evil type.

You Pay, I Work And I Got A Personal Life After That

To me, it is just a very simple philosophy : you pay me, I do the work and that is it. I got my own personal life to lead and as long as it is not affecting my work, I am entitled to lead it.

I Just Wanted My Kinda Home With One Gay Partner As A SoulMate And To Make A Life Together
I mean I wouldn't have hung out at those cruising spots till the wee hours of the morning if I had a supportive and warm familial environment. I would prefer to hang out at home.

Home meant stability and anchor to me. I mean my kinda ideal home.

So when I moved and got my own place, I never hung out at cruising spots anymore. I was contented until I leased out my rooms. Then trouble began.

Back To Square One
Now I am back to square one. I sold my place and the last four years I am cruising again on and off. Pathetically. And visiting men's clubs which I never knew existed or hankered after.

And I hang out late because I don't like the people I live with. Bull-Dog, Psycho, Fat Bloke, The Punk, the Hg Dude, Doray, Ben's and the rest.

If I don't like you means I don't like you, Get it? I won't open up to you. I will be very superficial and maintain a distance.

And I don't need to have privy to their living habits. It is none of my business. Your lifestyle is yours and mine is mine.

First and foremost I am there to stay ONLY. Everything else if it happens is secondary and so far NOTHING has. Who will wanna with the likes of Doray, Fat Bloke, BullDog and the rest.

More On 2nd Sister

Which include my family members. Why don't they mind their own business especially 2nd sister? She only pays lip service that she wanna help me since I dropped out of uni back then.

Did she ever? I don't see it! She is a fucking bitch and I cursed her with other accidents in her life where she will die from it.

Older brother has helped her with her divorce proceedings and with gaining permission from the Catholic Church for her remarriage but SHE IS NEVER GRATEFUL and still insist HE DIDN'T.

From her escape to JB, her subsequent divorce to that Malaysian/SPR dude named Ng Hwee Liang to her attempted suicide on a motor-cycle over her 2nd Indian/Eurasian then boyfriend but now husband. She is really a lot of trouble!

I HATE THEM TO THE CORE!

Just leave me outta your life and for me to map out mine.

Need I Repeat? This Made Me Drop Out Of Uni And Move Out
When I was young, Mom was always putting me down and the straw that broke the camel's back was when she actually encouraged me to drop out of university because I didn't pass the examinations and didn't go for my supplementary.

Remember Dad was already blind from cataract and glaucoma and retrenched when I was in Secondary 4, so finances was tight. Therefore I didn't wanna impose a further financial burden and I couldn't study in the kinda bad familial background.

Nit-picking from a naggard of a brother, physical and verbal abuses on everyone and the worst hit was my eldest mute sister and she tends to break out into "curses and swears" too, disturbing the peace.

Don't forget 2nd sister had divorced and remarried and the remarriage to an Indian/Eurasian wasn't exactly not impetuous. Fights, quarrels and a brood of boisterous nephews and niece.

And when brother married, sister-in-law problems.

So I moved out .

I Was More Like The "Serious" Kind While They Were The Partying Sort
I was hanging out at university with this group of "gay" fellow students as far as I can see. But they were more the partying sort and I was more the serious kind. And I just wasn't interested in their kinda culture, you know what I mean.

What I sense to be the promiscuity, playing the field and bods-loving type. Not that the foreign media with all the celebrities' portrayals and lifestyles were any good models. Thus we were picking up and aping them I guess.

They Didn't Care And So I Ended Up Where I Ended Up
I was trying to hook up with this senior who to me fits this "serious" image. He turned out to be a double-honors graduate later but he was simply not interested and probably "straight"?

He just cared for himself like the rest of them and so isn't everyone else? So why are they making me the bad guy to take the wrap when everyone else is like that?

And yeah, the other "straight" guys were also not keen.

I guess this is the one thing about "straight" guys. They are serious-minded - a career, family, education, job, home - that sorta thing while somehow the gays are different.

This is where I identify with the "straights".

It Is Within Ourselves, Truly

But on hindsight, it was just my low self-esteem, the troubles I went through that made me think I was inferior. Now I realised that the answers lie within me. The resources are inside me and good books help academically.

For sure hooking on to an academically strong person will help to a certain extent of course.

This is exactly what I am trying to reinforce into HIM that the resources lie within HIMSELF and the answers are not to be found on someone's face or faces. Usually it is a blank as well.

And he doesn't have to go through most of what I went through if he CARED TO LISTEN.

The Gay Culture
So there I was! TADA! And did I find that soul-mate within the "gay" circle? Nope and not many are attached. Therefore hopefuly the whole gay culture will change for the better.

It must because there are many good gay dudes out there who just want a peaceful, stable, communicative, caring, familial life I am sure.

This Was Me, This Is Me Now
All the while, I was the bo-chap kind and not very environmentally aware.

So when brother and mom nit-picked on some of my habits I didnt even realise. Like when I eat biscuits, they wanted me to hold a plate so the crumbs fall into it wherever I go.

And sometimes I may let slip the door knob and it kinda bang and brother is not happy.

I accepted people for what they are but after working with the various people like Sim Mong Chai, He-Ape, She-Ape and living with various personalities either leasing out or like now, I really start to hate the foreigners, the ethnics and the rest.

By Now, I Am Jaded And I Don't Bother About The People I Live With AnyMore
By now, I don't even bother about the tenants or landlords I lease places from. When I started, I was enthusiastic but Psycho, the dude at Hougang, Bull-Dog, Fat Bloke, The Punk, Doray and the rest just screwed everything up.

All those past experiences were so negative, why even bother trying to make friends?

See! That is how life has become. Jaded.

What Is The Whole Point?
What is the point to subject me to see all the dirty and lousy stuff like the streetwalking and prostitution areas?

I just pick up bad things and what if I become addicted? And to have to pay for these services is gonna cost me money right?

And wouldn't smoking and drinking affect my health and cost me money too? Do you know how much the branded drinks cost? A couple of hundreds per bottle. That is really expensive. Crazy.

A Stone Wall Of A Silence

And I am not sure why he is stone-walling me, not talking to me and refuses to meet me for even a while.

He is just forcing me into isolation and doing all the stuff I did back then which ISN"T ME!

If he doesn't like me, just say so and I am outta his life. I only need that one session of a heart to heart talk and I am finished and done with.

He has lied about where he schooled and I am sure many more. Sigh! Why? It is so un-necessary. Why can't we be open and honest?

Is this Chris' fault again? Must be. That fucking, inexperienced, old fool of a quack is just misleading all those young people he teaches into a web of damnation, lies and deceit which will ultimately kill all of us. Just like Daryl the Eunuch.

LDR - As Good As Surmounting Geographical Barriers Across Countries For That Sporadic Tryst Or Almost Like Internet Social Networking, Chatting And Instant Messaging - Pointless, Cold, Impersonal And Devoid Of Human Warmth, Feelings And Short-Term (Seems Like A Matter Of Convenience And Need For A Heartless Modern Society)

I have been asked if I am interested in a long distance relationship.

What is the point really? To Fly over or boat across the waters for that occasional or regular rendezvous? Isn't this like chatting or social networking over the Internet or messaging ? You want real people you like and get along with beside you to encourage you, support you and help you along the way.

Otherwise a LDR is simply crazy.

Once or twice a week is bad enough. Doesn't a husband or wife spend every day together? The hugs, the kisses, the cuddles and especially when you are ill.

Of coz everyone must wanna look forward to a live-in right? Despite some of the odds

All I Ever Need Is You By My Side

2010-01-21T07:59:00.004+08:00

All I ever need is you by my side.

Can't you see I love you more and more each day.

I can't let you out of my sight.

You have that charm and vulnerability.

Which I treasure and love.

I am impetuous when I am with you.

I feel like crying whenever I see you.

I just don't know why.

I like everything about you.

I hate you when you won't let me into your world

Or spend time with me.

And when I hear about how you allow abuses in your life to continue

Why won't you let go and give your love to someone who will truly love you.

I see so many good things in you

While I can see how bad things can affect you with the people around you

I wanna be your anchor

I want you to do right

And stand up for who you are

You keep me in suspense and dangling

It is a feeling I cannot live with

I am agitated, mentally deranged and unstable

I worry and am anxious for you

I want your honesty, love, communication and faithfulness

I only want you just as I wish you want ONLY me.

Please don't let me hang for much longer.

The World Is Full Of Fakers (Updated Updates)

2010-01-19T15:05:00.019+08:00

Noise That Makes You Go Huh?
Today I received two important telephone calls.

One was in the morning and as I am now staying on a low-floor and the environment sweeping vehicle was creating a din oustide, I couldn't hear very well.

The other was during my lunch-break and yes, you can't hear very well either at the crowded and noisy food-court too, can you?

Look Who The Gamers Are Bringing Home?
I am moving out again for the 16th time.

But before I go into that, let me explain what had happened.

Initially I agreed to lend Gerald the advance rental. But when I moved in and out of my room, I noticed that they were smirking and smiling and talking among themselves. That was when I realised they were playing a trick and flatly refused the prepayment.

So if you wanna play games, so can I.

As I said, I have two fakers at home in the likes of Psycho, Fat Bloke and BullDog. Maybe that explains the marriage break-up. I think Gerald can be childish and immature at times too despite being a father.

I don't know what is happening in his life and I am not keen on his "brother", So there!

And I Am Not Staying On.....................
And yes, he is leasing out the other room to an Indian Eurasian. I took one long look, noticed his blue trousers and how he is like and I AM MOVING OUT. Don't anybody get it? No ethnics, no gals, no those people I mentioned and yet they are trying to shove these people onto me.

Purportedly they are from our uniformed groups and everyone knows how critical I have been of them because of my past experiences.

So there is such a thing as textbook idealism and reality in this context. Personally I will not S-E-X with someone of a different creed, color or culture especially the abovementioned.

So it is a matter of choice and I have enough experience of them as my lower secondary classmates and the bosses at a private school which has since shifted near Ben's place.

Once again I tip my hat to those who do and they shall be the model for those who wanna follow in their foot-steps. But I won't.

That Is It - PointLess Being Sincere With Him Coz He Is Just Like The Rest Of The Community?
I have decided enough is enough with HIM. I sense all the other side of him far too soon and I just can't keep bottled up and not let him know what I see.

A mental retard, another faker, player, immatured and given his age, it is a shame, a dramatist, serial liar, someone who loves toxic relationships and being abused and a BIG asshole.

If he has been asking for time off early from work to "go play with his friends" all too often, why wouldn't his company be displeased. But he won't spare time with me or his family.

He was doing all the wrong things like stealing the family car out for rides while unlicensed and because of that, he wasn't inspiring trust and confidence from family and friends.

That also explains why his true friends left him because they saw in him what I saw too?

First class act with an interesting personality which is actually a fake! In the mould of Chris and Daryl the Eunuch.

And if the grapevine proves correct, he was making a fool of himself at parties among the locals and expats without realising it. And he is like the talk of the town among them. They were mimicking what he did and how he laid stupidly on the floor doing some more ridiculous action.

He is gonna be famous for all the wrong reasons. He is trying to be the centre of attraction. He is gonna go haywire with the crowd he hangs out with. He needs anchoring.

Tell Me Where We Are Heading And Gimme That Commitment
All I wanted was that heart to heart talk and just finish with it and move on but he refused me even that. An honest, open, no-holds-barred chat. And a once or twice a week meet-up can't be demanding?

If that can't happen, where is this relationship going? If he is not keen, just let me know and I will move on. I will never let people dangle and I will always make things very clear from the beginning.

If I don't like the person and I am not interested in him, that is it. So I will make things clear. It is the same with girls whom I will always remain friends only.

I just cannot understand him.

Demanding, Proud And What Else?
Yes I can be all that and more. While shopping and in a relationship I can be demanding.

But if you generalise without being specific, I can't change, can I?

And I only change if I think it is true.

Totally Brutally Honest SMSes
I have texted him relentlessly and given him more than a resounding earful for his beneficence.

Totally brutally honest and it is up to him to digest it.

Decoded, It Becomes.........
At the end of the day I am just saying:

"You are someone I care about so I worry about you! Because I care, I get all worked up about you. That is because I can see you are a good kid but you are impressionable and the people around you are not helping. They are egging you on in all the wrong direction.

I am afraid for you once you get your car license. Will you be responsible? Will you try to show off? Thus chauffering your friends around and especially to clubs. Will you drink and drive and speed? Do you have a deathwish that way?

I am having tension headache, I am all tensed up, a knot in my forehead and yes I kinda cringe my wrists and arms and all. All curled up in tension.

And in a relationship I am emotional and impetuous. If you are my beau I dont wanna worry about you. I wanna have confidence in you and me, trust, have faith, be open, honest, truthful and communicative. And spend time together.

No games. No playing the field. If you can, I can. If you don't, I won't too. So we can keep on playing the field and will that lead to anything?

You are lust AND love to me but it began first as LOVE so that is gonna sustain it.

Otherwise what is the point in any relationship?"

Being Sober In LIfe Is No Fun - Life Here Is So Full Of Traps
I have taken to drinking hard liquor everytime before I meet him.

Because I really dunno wat is happening in his life and so on. So being sober is gonna kill me. Being half drunk loosen me up and keep me sane and not so worked up. It calms my nerves.

But I won't know what that will do to me!

Another Faker
80 bucks for a pair of insoles. That was the opening bid before it was bargained down to $40. I paid $30 as that was all the cash I had and I meet HIM again for my other shoe's problem. A faker!

Glue and stitch for $25. Stitch a pair of plastic? I thought it would be more for fabric?

Ok so plastic can be stitched.

You Are Not God And Try To Script Our Lives According To Your Gospel
The community and the State have made me lose my job, my home, my car and my everything.

That includes a war-mongering family like my second sister. Why won't she just stick to her business and not interfere with mine?

Among other new gossip I hear now is that I am accused of having a share in a company and therefore receiving an income while sitting down idle.

Someone is just trying to script my life and hound me to death. Who I can't be sure! And it is just the whole stinking place of people here whom you cannot trust.

I will never forgive them till the day I die. And I will seriously jump off a building if nothing pans out soon.

What Else Can Stress Do?
My new medical condition symptoms have all but disappeared.

My research has shown that it is most likely to be benign idiopathic. That means it must have been due to all the stresses in the past year.

I am really glad.

I just hope my knees and legs hold up well enough. They don't seem to work very well these days.

Not On A Witch Hunt But Only Too Keenly Aware
I am not on a witch hunt but I am keenly aware of who is who. Unless I am not noticing, stressed and too pre-occupied.

Some of them I am interested in. Just that there is that missed connection. No opportunity for an opener to something more?

Unless we run into each other regularly.

But I already have HIM and just waiting for his WORD and I will drop everything.

Final Messages To The Community (Any Kind)

2010-01-11T12:13:00.011+08:00

One Last Final Message
All I can blog about is this:

Clean up our act and be very circumspect in the kinda values and messages we transmit.

That we want a monogamous or mono-gendered relationship. That we don't wanna be side-kicked in any relationship. Other relationships are on a friendship basis. That our relationship is of true flesh and blood and not surreal. That it is possible to make living together as one.

We don't really have to push for gay marriages (though this may be an ideal). Look at the straight world and how it has turned out. If we can maintain and live together in a relationship without the need for a covenant, it shows how much stronger we are and our ties are.

It is all up to us. Though there are cynics. But we have role models in the straight world, don't we? Lasting relationships.

All I Ever Need Is Him
He hasn't given me the heart to heart talk and a commitment. So I am in a fix as to what the status is gonna be. Who else is he seeing? What is happening in his life? Is he two-timing? Etc.

If he does commit, I will drop everything. I don't need them and everything else.

I only need HIM.

That soulmate, companion, live-in buddy and all. Doesn't he get it?

Ordeals
Let me write about the ordeal I have to go through with my family, our very own community and at some small and medium family enterprises

My Family Ordeal
First, my brother. He is such a naggard. He tries to write the script for my 2nd sister and me. That we are like that and so and so. For one, he accuses me of having someone to back me up who I don't. He always thinks the worst of people.

You should examine his track record at his old workplace. He politicks so hard, many of his former colleagues got fired. I met one who is now a cabby. And he is one of those God-pointing type for this and that.

He is doing the same to us. He always owns the mentality of driving big cars to show off. Our old place is Dad's which he has sold and bought another in his name.

Work Ordeal
Then at He-Ape's, his family thinks I am like gonna open up my own tutorial school. I did for a year at home and that was because he chased me out.

And I didn't enjoy it because I have to know how to talk to home-makers whom I dread and some will try to match-make me with girls.

Just like He-Ape's wife. Full of cynicism and I was criticised for using tissue paper to wipe myself after food and she insinuates that I am like a gal.

And perhaps try to match me with a gal even. Ask if I contribute to the family kitty and so on. What business of hers is it?

What about Shrill-Voice-Accident-In-Her-Face? She can't have guys cross their legs when they sit. She has a problem with that.

Look. I am here to do a job. Not have my personal life scrutinised or privacy probed into. And if she wanna intrude, she jolly well help. She can by raising our pay, doling out more bonuses and yes, match me with a guy. Whom I can relate to and like.

Not ethnics. Not anyone. At least someone with some intellectual capacity and who can share the English language freely and communicatively.

Of Course! They Too
Is the gay community any help either?

Nope. You have long hair and you are assigned a certain gender role. It is all about a public image. And I have proven this with my test and experiment and my profile pics are testimony to the kinda stereo images we all have.

Look at Chris. He wanna break people down. He has only one world for the gays. The world of the transvestites or transsexuals. I guess he wanna breal people down for those roles.

That was perhaps also He-Ape's motto. They wanna break you down to see if you are man or woman. Those sick gender role thingy again to see if you can take pressure.

That kinda sicko stuff.

There you have it folks! Need I say more?

No Straddling For An UnMistakable Sexual Identity
I can straddle two worlds of old and new, east and west, etc but surely there are fundamentals we can't straddle.

For instance I can't straddle the two worlds of the opposite-sex love and same-sex love. That will side-kick one and create unhappiness, confusion and trifling with their affection among the contenders.

It is gonna be short-term, as good as it lasts. It is only gonna be fun and it will be gone in a wink. And you will be left empty, used and devastated.

So this is fundamental. Get it?

Straddling Two Worlds

2010-01-09T13:10:00.010+08:00

Straddling Two Worlds
I am at that age bracket where I straddle the two worlds of both young and old, modern and tradition, east and west and a bridge between generations.

I can understand what the young is going through while not totally agreeing with some of the things they are doing. At the same time, I can also understand their parents' concerns and perspectives.

I will try to let the kids in on their parents' worldview. At the same time, I try to relate to their problems as best as I can. Stuff I went through myself like loneliness, sexual identity crisis, lack of support and a bad familial environment.

Though I didn't do many of the things they do to get the attention.

Even today I don't have that network of support of friends and family.

For me, it is just about getting work, attaining higher education, establishing real friendships, cultivating some hobbies and sports AND MOST IMPORTANTLY a home and a beau.

And there are guys at any age (of coz not the KIDS) who share that, I am pretty sure.

Straddling Again Between Home And Outside
I can be a homebody or go out pub and club if need be but HOME is first and foremost. If he wants it, I CAN. ONLY FOR HIM and nobody else unless it is close friends.

But I prefer we are anchored first as homebodies and everything else is second.

And we must connect and be able to communicate and share some interests together and a language affinity like English (at least).

I am sure HE is more on our side than he thinks otherwise. Therefore I wanna help him realise his blind spots and cross over to us - he is at that age group where the KIDS don't really need him.

He is really gonna get himself into hot soup.

This Is Me Again
Teaching is where I self-actualise myself and express myself.

There are the KIDS who think like me and I wanna chaperone them. Not the rest like that punk at AMK or HIS brother. The better-behaved ones.

And they are trying to push me to the matured (meaning really old, therefore I share nothing in common) crowd or the girls (whom I will just treat as friends).

And remember. I come here to do a piece of work assigned. Not have my personal life scrutinised or probed into. To be witch hunted. Just remember that.

Deep Sadness And A Broken Heart
I am not sure what is gonna happen to me.

With a new medical condition cropping up, no projects, no job in sight, no income, no money, no home, no support, no nothing, I might just jump out a building soon if nothing pans out.

The things you put me through and at my age! Half a life gone and thanks to the maligning by my family and the community.

There, a finale to a script?

Messages To All Kinds Of Community - Straights, Bis, Gays, Wateva (Updated)

2010-01-08T09:59:00.029+08:00

Some Nagging Questions - Is He Linked And Connected With My Ex-School, Chris And The Rest

This is the feeling I get somehow.

That gal who came up to ask us to buy ciggies on her behalf because of age restriction just didnt seem right. She was studying in a a school linked to Chris. And also that ACS boy (at least he wears the school logoed tee) who was milling around the park.

I know where his eyes roll whenever we are together.

Questions remain who he stays with, who is he and where does he study. And what is really happening in his life.

In a totally seemingly unrelated event, a few Indonesian Malay tourists ask me for directions to Clifford Pier, Golden Mile Complex and Harborfront. And we know wat kinda locations these are! I was told there is a message behind this.

I need this heart-to-heart talk to clarify things with him and see how best I can help him and how we can move ahead together.

That Is Me
When I work, I perform my duties and try to communicate as well as I can.

There is no need to indulge in gossp and bitching about others unless absolutely necessary.

Now You Know Why I Am Cutting Ties With My Siblings

At one time when I was really skinny and thin, I was maligned to be suffering from AIDS by who else but my very own 3rd sister. She is a PIG who doesn't lift a finger to do anything and relegates this to my brother-in-law and mute sister.

My own brother has a load of theories about who I am and what I am thinking. But see how he and my 3rd sister's relationship has turned out.

Why I Will Never Return To These WorkPlaces Where There Are "Loyalists" Like Agnetha And The Malay Clerk And Other Gay Tutors

At work, there are loyalists at He-Ape's.

Little does he know, these loyalists are feeding him mis-information and mis-judgement and those newbies (who would be truer and more loyal) are being maligned by the loyalists and thus forced to leave.

Loyalists like She-Ape, Agnetha, the Malay clerk and the gay tutors. They are feeding him all kinds of rubbish while not peering into the mirror themselves to see who they are.

Everyone knows that all the while I have been quietly doing my work. So why are they witch-hunting me down. How is that gonna help me?

That Is Some Of Them Or Is It Most?
Unfortunately the likes of Daryl and the rest have other ideas. They like to intrude and slime others. Thereby breaking other people's rice-bowls which include mine.

For instance he expects me to teach like his way or that Oliver, the former English teacher, can't teach. But can he?

That rude gay was right. Don't judge others. Looks deceive. It is only an image or nick. Hey what about me? They were scrutinising and judging me all the time and broke my rice-bowl.

So why shouldn't they get a taste of their own medicine?

I Must Have Been Slimed And This Was Me All The While
All I was doing at home was to lease out 1-2 rooms and really that was like so much bother and trouble before I decided to lease out only 1 room.

Then at one point I provided guardianship to one foreign student for a short period and that was it. And I was setting up a home-office to engage in training.

With all the troubles at home and no job and no projects, I have to sell off my place, invest but since that investment broke me, I am now like back to square one. Dead broke, homeless, flitting from place to place and suffering an array of medical health problems and depression.

So people (and I am not sure who - neighbors maybe) must have slimed that I am overseas most of the time (when I just keep my doors shut), have creditors coming after me (those were sales people or the postman or some others) and a slew of other gossip.

That is how bitch-whoring the community is. That I am divorced and alone. Plus GOD_KNOWS_WHAT_ELSE! Were they helping or were they adding on to your woes?

As I was telling someone, even if you are not dead, they will script your life till you do.

Like now.

Messages To The Community (All)
I. Accept Each Other As We Are And Don't Try To Change Each Other Too Much Except To Help Realise Blind Spots
Embrace and support each other. Embrace diversity. All kinds. The man and woman inside each of us. Accept that and reinforce, complement and supplement each other.

This is actually the crux I am driving at - THE GENDER ROLE-PLAYING AND PERSONALITY EXHIBITS.

With a nation divided down the line which is of a multi-split nationality kind, don't expect its citizenry not to be functioning as multi-split personality too.

Don't go on a witch-hunt. Identify and pick out people. Target personal attacks on one another. Value judge. Try to exorcise and marginalise each other into male, female or transgendered roles. Worse, according to Chris, "break him down". That was his mission statement.

If you wanna intrude, make sure you are helping out not adding to the gossip and woes.

II And To Be Exceptionally Circumspect When We Speak, Write Or Act Lest We Send Out The Wrong Or Confusing Signals, Thus Misleading Others And Doing More Harm
And to do no HARM. In the state Chris is in, impaired as he is, he is gonna say a lot of things that will harm and mislead others.

But I Can't Take This
But a few things I can't bear - rude, attitudinal, bitch-whoring and overbearing ways. That will surely earn a quick rebuke and similar reaction.

You are rude, so can I. You wanna bitch. So can I.

So does that make for good and cordial relations?

Is "Avatar" My Destiny?
Is my life being scripted as in "Avatar"?

I now have a new medical condition. If that can be settled, I wanna move on to settle the other.

In the meantime life goes on. But will I hold up or will I be like the people in "Avatar"? Is that what you wish for me? So be it.

Social Scripts, Cliches And Quotes (Updated)

2010-01-05T09:48:00.020+08:00

Another Social Script
It is unimaginable that we are writing all kinds of social scripts for today's world.

I was listening in to this international radio station when the deejay claimed that you haven't really loved someone if you do not cry when the two of you break up. I think the aggrieved has every right to choose how he wanna emo - be it journalling or confrontation or otherwise.

This is just another inane social scripting for today's society among others. Another that cropped up was how women love bad boys. I am sure NOT ALL DO and to each his own. So please do not generalise for the entire populace. Anyway I hope not.

Everyday this kinda social scripting is being played over the media and various state agencies and our young are lapping them up like a hungry dog as if they are gospel truths. The old days of proverbs and quotes by famous people are also fast becoming obsolete and redundant.

Even personal quotes or shoutouts on individual blogs or messenger boxes are really bones of contention and items to pick at.

So I have decided to delete mine and write only simple and less contentious slogans and shoutouts.

So there!

Cracked?
I just discovered Gerald has an electronic monitoring device at home wired to telecommunication devices.

Perhaps that explains how my IPhone may have been cracked because I used it once to check on my Color-Me tone and Voicemail feature . Then I got an auto-call from my own phone while at the movies.

And yes there were all those mysterious IDD calls and auto-dial text and calls which were linked to an App I think. I have since deleted it.

I am not sure whose doing is this frankly.

The IPhone
Of course besides being a phone for the young in terms of Applications, there are also ACCESSIBILITY features for the old like white on black, mono audio and zooming features.

I do not necessarily approve of some of the Applications but good and clean social networking is fine with the ultimate goal of getting that ONE and only beau.

And really NOT SEX and for me, I do not mix gals and guys as I WANNA BE STRICTLY MONO-GAMOUS and MONO-gendered.

Otherwise there will be complications.

My Only Fear About Pubbing And Clubbing
Nothing with mingling and holding your drink and chats and so on.

But when it costs money and becomes expensive and there is that ra-ra bravado of urging each other on to drink till stupor, then that is health-damaging and putting yourself in jeopardy like drunk-driving and god knows what else!!

That is when DRAMA begins.

Plus all the effects of late nights and a smoky environment and deafening music.

One Thing I Do Know
But one thing I do know is that I can't give up on HIM and I have to be there for HIM, despite the few white lies he told here and there like the two-week vacation he has which he claims he hasn't.

So I hope he was spending time studying at the library (maybe going back to Malaysia even) and unlike the occasion after work when his friend drove or cabbed to pick him up for a house "party". (somehow this word is so dirty and laden with bad thoughts because of movie portrayal of making out, drugs and drunkenness and I cannot confirm what was happening either except that there was "gaming" but again where was he exactly?)

I am just saddened he could do that and spend a night away plus all the occasions of watching movies, eating out and I am not sure what else, without his parents grumbling and he can't do it for me. Just for one night.

No Need For Games - We Are One

By now I already know who he is, just as I know who Gerald and his brother are. So I can accept everything about them and there is no need for any games.

That is all.

Adidas Shoes Slit Open? And Tiger Soft Toy On Satchel Missing?

I just discovered my pair of Adidas mid-cut boots had its seams at the sides wide open on not one but two of the pair.

Today my tiger soft toy on my satchel was gone with its metallic attachment dangling and split apart.

Either the shoes were a result of wear and tear or the above and my soft toy was yanked away or somehow became detached itself due to some pressure.

Flatmates As Friends? Ha Ha...Not In This Case

When I shared this with Gerald and his brother, they thought I was implying they did it. So I told them I was sharing it with them like friends would share their problems.

Now I know the kinda mentality and frame of mind they own. There you have it folks! You wanna be friends with these people leasing rooms or houses out. They just wanna collect rent. You think they wanna be friends? They would be apprehensive if I try to strike up a relationship because they think I wanna dodge on rent.

Besides the harassment for advance rental money (to pay for his Mom's op but as I learnt from a neighbor that a creditor came aknocking), Gerald knocked once on my bedroom door and without waiting further for me to open it, just barged in like that. What kinda behavior is that?

So now I know more about their character.

This Is The Community's Doing

I think this community is staging all these drama for me to script them. I am not even sure all that had happened to me are true.

I will only blog when necessary.

Period.

All I Want
I am a homebody person. Work, sports, nature, some entertainment (like pubbing. movies and dining) and home. Time with beau. chats and so on.

I really don't wanna go spas, men's clubs, spend money on money/rent bois and so on.

Why Do This To Me? Enough Is Enough

You put me out here and I start heavy chain smoking and indulge in all kinds of rubbish because of the stresses of dealing with different landlords and fellow tenants.

Plus all kinds of un-savoury neighborhoods like Selegie and Geylang and Havelock.

No income, no home, no nothing.

And I have a new medical issue to contend with! Life is great!

Gregorian And Lunar New Year Resolutions And Wish List 2010 - The Way Forward (**Updates)

2010-01-02T15:50:00.028+08:00

A Fusion Or A Dichotomy
Even the title for my blog says it all. That fusion or dichotomy of West and East.

However contradictory that may sound (aren't we already an island of contradiction of old and new, modern and traditional, Chinese and Western Astrology with multi-split nationality to boot) I will now try to reconcile and resolve the two differences as best as I can

For My Living Quarters
I can't afford condo prices so it seems like public housing is the way to go. Unless of course a miracle happens.

I will like to live near water and nature. Quiet, serene, tranquil , scenic and soothing environs where I can exercise, trek and take long walks. But with easy access to 24-hour round the clock food and conveniences. And yes, if the city is too far away, a car is a must. This is where I wanna chill out like cafeing, a movie and other entertainment.

I can tolerate living near young couples and families, but not the old folks, the blue-collared or the foreign workers. The younger set like students, working professionals and expatriates are most welcomed.

Unfortunatey, I am totally secular (does not necessarily mean materialism). Therefore I can't be living near too religious people or an overwhelmingly culturally diverse populace .

**As it is, to put me under constant threat by denying me that security of a roof over my head is TOTALLY UNFORGIVABLE and I WILL HATE YOU FOR LIFE FOR THIS!

The denial of a home base just affects many facets of my life.

For A Career
Higher education dealing with better or higher-ability youths (though I am sure the slower ones will ONE DAY catch up and youths do not necessarily mean teens or preteens).

Not too old a student body though. Asian Chinese/Koreans/Japanese/South Easterners or a Western population is much coveted. English language proficiency and accuracy is a must.

After all education cuts across barriers and I will expect that they form the majority while the rest will be a minority.

Be it in communications, business, finance or science and technology.

I can be a creative consultant too giving inputs for ergonomical designs, technology and innovation.

For A Familial Life
A younger Asian Chinese beau well-versed in English (Mandarin is ok too) is most definite. Someone I can connect to intellectually, communicate with and so on. Yes maybe even adopt a boy kid (optional).

But younger Western beaus who can speak the English language well can be considered too.

For A Balanced Life
Sports like running and gymming or other adventure viz nature and the like.

Overseas trips.

Entertainment like cafeing and pubbing....not so much clubbing with loud music or dances. Home parties with food and drinks seem fine.

Movies, shopping, dining and the usual fare.

Me, My Interests And Hobbies
I like technology and aesthetics. I don't like drama at home, creating a scene, kicking up a fuss (but to be totally honest and open and communicable) that sorta thing but humor and jokes and jibing is fine.

I think I am modern in outlook and I have very little tradition left (by virtue of our exposure and education).

Aesthetically anyone can see the stark differences between a shawl bought from a flea market and one bought off a luxury brand house. Even tens of dollars will buy you a piece of cloth with marked differences.

Because of a love for technology, I have gotten myself an IPhone and a Mac BookPro. And there is good news on the horizon. Adobe Flash will be available over Apple handheld devices most probably in the 2nd quarter of the new year. That means we can have flash player to play a variety of websites that require them. Movie trailers for one on cinematic websites.

And yes we control technology not the other way round. Therefore I make sure that I have control over the IPhone and not the IPhone control me in terms of the data and cost usage.

And I am all wirelessly wired up. I don't feel tethered that way and I was always prone to yanking wires or tripping over them anyway. Yes, wireless portable speakers are available but not sold here. Therefore excuse me once again if I am all wirelessly wired up.

I am the kinda person excited about the exchange of ideas on a variety of topics and subjects like Philosophy, Science, Business and Economics and especially about LIFE but with a very hands-on practical yearn.

I like reading hands-on kinda books too.

And building up meaningful relationships with like-minded people.

Is my wishlist and my resolutions too much to ask for?

Wise Old Sage - You Speak Once Again With Wisdom And Truth
Yes I read excerpts from MM Lee's forum discussion in "Today"'s edition yesterday (oops oxy-moronic).

Wise Old Sage. Such wisdom and wise words in a long while now.

I can't agree more with all that has been said. It is comforting he understands the cultural miscegenation/divide thingy so well. I tip my hat to those who do and they are models for those who choose to follow them.

And truly we can't shut off the Internet or the cellular network completely now can we? Therefore casinos too I presume. But we can try to mitigate its effects like we already are. Like we can sleaze control? Away from residential zones and in appropriately designated ones?

And it is always better to have a fixed quantum of "corruption" in that sense rather than unbridled or excessive corruption in countries where the public sector is lowly paid and fed.

I remember I did blog about snowballing corruption which I have an issue with. Today a diamond ring, tomorrow a luxury car and what next - a whole human body transplant?

Inane as that sounds.

That Was Like "Selfish" To Me
And I think I am actually in dire need of comfort, hugs and reassuring words from HIM now in the light of all my losses and losses and losses but he can't, over the next two weeks because of festive meet-ups and I presume with his "brother".

Oh please! Fuck the brat. Like in the case of my Chinese ex-roomie. If their "brothers" repeatedly commit those silly, brattish, outta control addiction, they must face the MUSIC ONE DAY. So LET THEM!

We can't always molly-coddle, clean up and bail them out consistently!

Bad as it sounds, I cannot connect to Gerald as well as I can with HIM!

I Need It More Than Them - They Are Better Dramatists And Attention Getters While I Am A Quiet, Long-Suffering Silent Type Which Is To The Detriment Of My Health

I think I need his love and concern more than his "brother".

And the final dagger to my heart, once a week is only possible if time permits.

And I hated his "brother" because I can see through him, like some of the bitchwhores at the coffee-shop, my ex-room-mate at AMK, the fucking gay I went out for "Avatar" with or my flight attendant ex-bf that he is the fucking rude kind.

And then will turn lovey-dovey again like the sociopath in "Girl Interrupted" to get the things he want. Thus alternating between PiG and lovey-dovey. So I really pity HIM if he is gonna hang out with this "brother" who is gonna RULE OVER HIM. It is the wrong crowd he is with!

But as a consolation, I actually got my hugs and cuddles in bed from a very guai NSF personnel and that comforted me for the night.

Chemical Encounters
My first encounter with the sniffing chemicals was from a gay I met eons ago. It just provided a rush but for several seconds. It didn't become an addiction of course but an on and off affair and never happened again for a very long time.

Because I remember the brain damage it could do.

The first and last time I had the other kinda stronger chem was a year and a half ago when I was distressed. This young snookering and clubbing dude was peddling it online.

It was expensive and I insisted he accompanied me and took it right along with me. He accompanied me for a while and it was half an hour later before it took its effects. I didn't feel high but dizzy and it lasted some good minutes. That was all.

So I wanted to kill him for the false promise and hype he generated about getting high and turning on music and so on. It was all LIES!

You Can't Seem To Hear (Updated Updates)

2009-12-31T11:48:00.030+08:00

Why Are You Doing This To Me, WhoEver You Are!
I cannot begin to blog about my deepest sadness today on the eve of a New Year.

Someone is trying to script my life, I think.

They may go on and on about something in their lives that dissatisfy them or that they are suffering from some termnal illness or something.

But the fact is I am NO BETTER THAN DEAD. I can'tself-actualise myself in teaching, my vocational calling. Or own a home or have reasonable good companionship. Good company and friends are hard to come by.

You won't find it at clubs, pubs, spas, chat rooms and the rest. And when you do, something terribly goes wrong.

All I get is a bunch of people stuck in a rut full of gripes. Different interests. No communication skills. No connection and I get sucked into their world.

Let It BeFall Them, They Deserve It
If you wanna let things befall someone, let it be those well-off , rich kids and EVEN THOSE who are NOT (keeping up with the Tans) who have it too good and blow their money on every material good they can.

Who aren't making use of the education opportunities their parents are bestowing on them.

SPLURGING ON EXPENSIVE FOOD AND GOODS AND EVERYTHING ELSE AT THEIR YOUNG AGE.

PARTYING, DRUNK-DRINKING, SLUTTING, SARONG PARTYING, DRAMAING, MONEYING FOR SEX, CABBING, DRUGGING, SEXING, TRAVELLING OR CYBERGAMING TILL THY KINGDOM COME!

This Is Me
For me I am just concerned about work, education, a home and a future beau and or kid. And I like nature and sports. Is that wrong?

To spend some chilling moments cafeing with real friends and so on. Is that a SIN too?

I am just concerned about me and my future beau/kid's lifestyle and well-being. I hope he shares my interests and ethos and I am remotely interested in what other people do.

That Is Him, Not Me!
I don't wanna be in Gerald's position, the current landlord of my place.

Divorced for wateva reasons with a toddler daughter. Stacks of probability gambling slips and invitations from an overseas casino.

After harassing me for the rental prepayment, now he wants a loan and advance for his "mom's operation" (Sounds more like gambling or loan debts to me).

And I don't trust his "brother" because he does not seem trustworthy.

In fact I am not even sure if he instigated his breakup because "his brother" is not on good terms with his own set of parents and puts up at Gerald's.

Or Gerald is relying on "his brother" for his next home as "his brother" is one year shy of age to qualify for a resale.

I am not interested in their lifestyle or intrigue.

Past And Present Familial Life
All I remember is that I was born into a kampong, grew up in a 2-room, then 3-room and finally 4-room flat. Never had many material things in my youth and never hankered for it.

This may be a culture shock to some. For me I live with culture shock every moment of my life. Small living quarters and very little material goods.

I was more concerned with my studies and work. But my family wasn't supportive and I am not sure if they were dragging me down as a result. On purpose or otherwise.

School, NS, Family Again And Then Work
Then in secondary school it got progressively unhappy and became worse in JC.

It didn't end there during National Service and continued through with all the family, female, regional and SME set-ups.

It is just a job but boy, the people around you have other ideas. From She-Ape, Black Widow and Shrill-Voice-Accident-In-Her-Face to the rest.

What about Daryl Chan the Eunuch? He sucks lollipops in school just like Chris did. In full view of the students. Defying one and all and coming late at times. And he is an "educator".

Career DeadBlock And No Home
I can't get the job I want. This is my vocational calling. When I thought I could have it at my fingertips, I lost it all and now I am like loboing.

Just When I Thought This Was It, Then It Got Taken Away
I can't get good companionship and just when I thought I did, I had to see the other side of him. Someone who is preoccupied, playful too, playing the field and just a tad too sociable.

He is decent, clean-living and well-brought up but his friends have to corrupt and destroy that for him. And he has his own foibles like stealing out his family car for rides (when he hasn't got a license) and wanting to buy a second-hand car in the future.

And it isn't out of necessity for work (like sales) or family, it is gonna be for transporting his "brothers" for clubs, outings and to school. They have a family car already so why add on another liability? To show off and the convenience of a private transport.

And he still cannot understand the precarious position of his turning familial fortunes. I hope he gets round to it.

Fuck his friends and the company he keeps! What he needs is people to anchor him to the ground. Otherwise the rest of the ding-dong gang will be his downfall.

These Are The Clubbers Who Get Drunk, Emotionally Manipulate Others, Emoting Drama Courtesy Of Soaps And Wants To Be Taken Care Of Like Being Sent Home, Etc (The Fucking Slimy Gay Community)
I have seen his "brother" (and I can guess the company he keeps) and I know who his "brother" is and I don't like HIM.

They will "jio" him out - clubs, drinks and so on. Get high, drunk and go into stupor and pitiance, expecting others to sent them home and emoting DRAMA like soap operas.

It is like dealing with my Chinese ex-roomie all over again and his "brother" and that dude who lived with me at AMK.

I have to share him with HIM. I think his "brother" is old enough to take better care of himself and his brother is just trying to snatch him away from me.

It Is Called "Tough Love" Especially On Excessive Addiction Matters Like AlcoHol, CyberGaming, Gambling And So On (Simple Truth Is I AM NOT A PARTY-GOER OR CLUBBER)
We have to say "NO" to this kinda emotional drama and script and PUT OUR FOOT DOWN.

They have to be responsible for themselves, know how to hold their drink and if THEY CAN'T, THEN THEY FACE THE CONSEQUENCES on their own.

Nobody is gonna clean up after them or bail them out if they REPEATEDLY DO IT.

Otherwise GO for REHAB!

If with a family full of sorrows myself, I discipline myself NOT TO GET INTO REBELLION back when I was their age, SO CAN THEY! They are just manipulating their family sob stories to gain sympathy and advantages!

Including SEX!

It Must Be The Gay Community Again (Like This Gay I Met Recently - Emoting, Drama And Wanting To Be Sent Home With A Script Full Of Sorrowful Family Dysfunction)
When I did, he was on the phone with so many other of his "brothers" who wanna send him home.

I just do not know what the whole point is? Was he like trying to feel loved or something? Or just making use of them? Or two, three, four or multi-timing to feel great? To stupidly wanna test their love?

I still don't see the point.....do you?

FUCK YOU ONCE AGAIN!
Someone is scripting this on purpose.

I know I am being monitored and they are trying to shove the "matured" people onto me whom I can't get along with, remotely interested in and disconnected (the FAKERS as I call them - the likes of FAT BLOKE, BULLDOG and Gerald's BROTHER NOW), then they are wrong.

You Still Don't Understand This?

I Just Want My Job, A Home, A Like-Minded Beau And A Higher Education. I don't wanna have to worry about my beau.

And It Is Not Age As Ben Would Have You Believe It Is . He Says The Young Are Emotionally Unstable . But there are young ones of any age (yes, even the secondary schoolers) well-brought up and share my ethics and ethos.

But I Think He Is The One - The Faker- And At Ben's Age, It Is A Crying Shame. He knows he is mouthing all the rubbish without even knowing what he is saying or having ever experienced it. All the cliches.

Yeah what about Vic, his beau? He is emotionally unstable too. He still hangs out at spas.

Yes and buying a new flat is fluke because it is by balloting (so you have no say who your neighbors are) while you have control over a resale flat - meaning the neighbours you live with - subject to the availability of flats at the point in time.

What Am I Clinging On For?
With no projects on hand, no jobs, no home, no nothing, I just don't know what I am clinging on for.

Fuck You! Mother Chao Chee Byes! Enough is enough! I just want to move on and live my life out. Can you understand this?

**This Is My Final Resolution

There will be no turning back. I am prepared to die for this. No return to any former industry or employer. THEY CAN GO TO HELL! It is only gonna be EDUCATION!

Please keep the education industry free of all the SHAM with the likes of "educators" like The Eunuch, She-Ape, He-Ape, Chris and all the rest.

Explained And Unexplained Mysteries Plus More Fucktards (Updated)

2009-12-21T21:37:00.010+08:00

The Least And Minimum You Could Do

At least allow older singles like myself to buy new flats... That would be a reprieve and concession while the age limit remains for the rest for resale ones.

Resetting The Network

Perhaps resetting the network for internet tethering isn't that unusual.

Remember back in those days when we actually had to reboot our comps? Or even now, refreshing or reloading our web pages!

I suppose that is the same reasoning.

Explain This Mystery Of The Appearing And DisAppearing Prefix W3

Unfortunately I cannot fathom this.

As far as I understand it, the URL is that string of address we always see in the title bar preceded first by the protocol (which is kinda like FTP) and W3 is always the host server .

But excuse me if I still don't get it when an official website cannot be accessed when prefixed with W3 and can only be when it is prefixed by the protocol. Other websites can be either. So how do you explain that?

Someone Explain These Terminologies - Standby Time And Audio Playback

Can someone also explain what it means by standby time?

Coz some batteries are claiming hundreds of them but I don't see it yet on mine. And tens of hours of audio playback. Again, I don't see it.

I guess that counts out FM radio streaming then. No wonder my IPhone is constantly drained!

No Extraction! Faster Time! And Perhaps Self-Ligating Braces Would Have Helped?

And I was absolutely pissed with my dentist!

I think I didn't need braces for more than 2 years as my teeth was relatively straight forward. I just need that recessed tooth to be brought to the fore and perhaps 6 months to a year would suffice to straighten everything out!

And extractions were unnecessary! Because four of my teeth were, I had to wear braces with ties to close the gaps!

More time and money spent.

What Trauma, Stress, Disturbances And Dissonance Can Do To You (Plus.... Oh Yes....Shifting For The 15th Time)

Because of all the recent traumatic events, disturbances, noise and dissonance, I am stressed and when you are stressed, you don't think or listen very well. I find myself asking others to repeat themselves several times. I am beginning to be impaired like Chris was.

And I had to approach my SAVIOURESS and her compatriots a few times too for help with the computing. Once I am settled down, I could think and read the literature myself and figure how to do the computing stuff.

That is how it is!

Get This Once More To Your Head, Fuckers!

Gerald, the owner of this place, may claim whatever he wanna claim.

For sure, this place is jointly owned. He could be separated and awaiting custody and a divorce trial. Or this place isn't really his. His sister's? His "borther's"?

As it is, he spends nights away and according to his "brother" who lives here, he is at his sister's.

I have a deep feeling in my bones that the duo are just interested in some tips for financial investment. And really to harass me for the 1 month rental prepayment EVEN before I move in is really disturbing and a harassment!

I may find Gerald cute but it will end there and I am remotely interested in his "brother". And I just wanna know what is the agenda.....

Go fuck and drop dead pigs!

More Bimbs At My Ex-School

As it is, I have enough of my ex-classmates at Kaplan.

The ethnics. The fat gal. Sabby. The rest.

I keep running into some of them at school when I wanna settle down to my studies the last time and I know it was purposeful.

A big female chinese student of a new intake I ran into (and I knew this was planted and these people may even be working at Kaplan) suggested I volunteer for APEC or the UN and help out the foreign women.

Fuck you! They were the cause of all my current predicament and I haven't even solved my own problems yet.

And I promptly ran into her again the next day at a nearby Hotel. Coincidence!

And Wimps At Calif

The long-haired retard is trailing me. So is that Hindu Arab or wateva.

Go fly kites and drop fucking dead! Pigs!

If I don't like you means I don't like you, Brothers! That is such a misnomer!

Other Reasons For Ditching Alvin

And there are other reasons why I ditch Alvin. He was beginning to be like his mother or mine (and my brother), nitpicking on my eating style and habits and he was way too sensitive about himself.

I suppose these fucking people think I should sit at home, wait to be fed and served their kinda food they cook.

And smile and wait on them.

We Are On A Bronze Standard (If There Is Even One), Not Gold - That We All Know

We all know what kinda standards we are working on.

From working for He-Ape and the rest, I know this. Point is I am just happy to go on doing my work, especially when dealing with youths in an education setting, but the other people think otherwise.

Brags about their impeccable standards and worse, disturbing me and making me look like I am sub-standard while they are of "GOLD" standard.

Just shut your fucking mouth and let us all just do our part of the work.

Fuck You!

I Am Sick And Tired Of All The Drama And Fucking Shit

2009-12-19T00:23:00.014+08:00

Number 15...What More?

If it isn't already clear the "drama" I have to face each day, let me put it across to you very lucidly.

I have moved! Yeah! This is number 15 and I am not sure if I have to count down to more in the near future.

Emotional Manipulator

Old Auntie probably wasn't happy about the utilities usage and she must have some "issues" like the generation of her era. Save electricity, save water, save everything except a life. TADA!

And we all know Ben is a reincarnation of her. He feels and behaves the same way. He is making use of her to talk to us because of her age. Like I was told this "across the causeway" woman emotionally manipulates the banks into giving her loans by using her old grandmother as a crutch and sob story.

Just as Ben uses Vic (his whoever...buddy, beau, ONS, etc) to do all the dirty work for him. Clean the house, dismantle the bed, look for tenants, teach at his "school" etc.

Every time I talk to Vic, he is like looking over his shoulder to see if Ben approves. Not that Vic needs very much prompting as he is already very careful with his words and way too guarded.

When I wanted to find out what kinda internet subscription they are on as the WIFI connection at their place was really good, Vic was even tight-lipped about this. What? Even a simple question like this? What harm can it do?

Drama King And Actors All

As I have lost all my contacts, I was recommended this house mover.

He was a drama king all right. First he came about 3 and a half hours late. When he did, there was this motley crew (mostly ethnics) who were dramatists and noise makers all rolled into one (empty vessels make the most noise). They sure were "professionals" all right, standing around, not knowing what to do and feeling their way to do the job.

Evening traffic was beginning to build up at that time because it was almost after-office hours. After loading my home stuff, he unloaded them again and two other trucks promptly came into sight. This guy was drama mama alright!

Shuffling to and fro and making a lot of noise! There was delay after delay and I was overcharged. Worse I sat right next to a driver and cargo-handler who were dramatists in their own right.

You deserve nominations for the Golden Globe awards, boys! That is as far as I will give you.

Neh Neh Ni Pooh Pooh (15x) (And sticking out tongue)

Another Divorcee With A Toddler Daughter - Is It Just Me Or Is Singapore Teeming With Cute Young Male Divorcees Who Have Had Enough Of Marriages And Their Spouses?

As if that wasn't enough, I had to move in with a 20ish cute young divorcee having custody of his toddler daughter over the weekend. I only like the room and the location wasn't too bad, being near to eating places and the MRT.

Though I couldn't stand the "table" he gave me which stink of cockroaches smell like Old Aunty's drapes at "home" (looks like a slaughter table or altar table to me) and it isn't very clean. Probably picked off some throwaways at a dumping ground.

Enough already!

Wei Zhao and Ashley I can handle. But a girl kid! Ewwwwwwwww! Just get outta my way and sight!

Pre-Purchase Of IPhone

Before the purchase of my IPhone, the demo sets at different shops were not homogenous and yes, sales people tell you different versions and know different things. For instance one may know about this feature while another knows another but not necessarily the other.

Post-Purchase Of IPhone (The Carrier Man Cannot....Apparently)

After getting it, there were other issues to contend with via call-up support, in person and over the website. That was because knowledge was imperfect or lacking and language proficiency wasn't there. Yeah call answerers were mostly ethnics again.

Yes, they don't know what they are saying because they don't understand the information and I was misled. Or they were trying to pull a fast one by circular expression.

PUK and SIM codes (get this right, the former is 8-digit while the latter is 4-digit). Choosing the right data plan (I might as well switch since price for price it is about the same). Everything.

Information Not Expressed Correctly And Imperfect Knowledge Again On The Part Of The Carrier Representatives

I have since learnt that the Bridge DataRoam is automatically deactivated at midnight and you might as well remember to call at that time to reactivate on a daily basis to utilise the benefits fully. Not the 24-hour thingy the operator will have you believe.

Just as I infer that "streaming" FM music over radio frequencies can't be chargeable.

And we have to distinguish between excess charges and pay-as-you-use charges and yes, subscription does not necessarily cover ancillary data usage charges.

And the way the information was expressed, it looks as if Mobile TV and live TV viewing were two different thingies when it should have been made clear that the 2-hour free viewing was given after the unlimited promotional period till March 2010.

IDD services are applicable. Not the normal v019 or 013 services though they apparently have value-added applicable v019 auxillary services.

One Consolation Though - I Love My IPhone - It Is Literally "Hot, Hot, Hot" Sitting As It Did In My Trouser's Pockets (I Hope I Don't Get "Infertility Syndrome")

It is so hot, battery life is short! Ha ha! So I need a backup and it doesn't seem to work as it claims thus far.

Users, Beware! The Carrier Man Cannot Again!

Yes, Internet Tethering service can appear and disappear like a magician's act! So you have to reset network settings every now and then.

And if you have no data plan or limited data coverage, make sure your GPRS network is disabled or you may just get a SHOCKING BILL at the end of your billing cycle because of unanticipated charges.

But I am glad! The IPhone is such a fun and useful gadget! And it looks really good too.

Hip Hip Hurray for Apple!

Language Proficiency And Circular Expression

That reminds me of how much it can be an issue of language proficiency. Sometimes of course it is the way the information is expressed. Because of muddled thinking, circular expression is the only route to take . That is because the person knows nuts about the knowledge.

Like Chris when he teaches "Conflict Management". He was really saying nothing when he taught that module or even "Ethics" because he doesn't know or understand it. Or in the case of "ethics" there wasn't any (mua ha ha ha ha). So it was circular expression.

Or my ex-classmates (ethnics again, like the police officer who kinda interrogated me eons ago). I could see them talking among themselves and sometimes asking what the lecturer was saying when the lecturer in question was crystal clear. They could even interpret the assignment topic differently and thus wrongly.

Particularly this ethnic woman who insists on referencing when we know for a fact that that is required only when it is a word-for-word direct quotation from any source.

Creating a big hoo-ha! Over nothing. If you are creating noise for something positive and good, why not?

Oh and my beloved Sabby. She failed her last module, asked me to email her my assignment and I know she isn't cut out for this kinda academic work and I never hear from her again!

There, transactional relationship!

Don't Come To Me, Get Lost And Fuck Off!

Please don't come to me with your woes and sob-stories! I have enough of my own! I didn't create this mess. Ask THEM!

I will only listen to those I wanna listen to.

Our Foreign Friends (Fiends)

So far I have had largely positive experiences with the Viets, the Thais, the Koreans, the Mynamese, some Taiwanese and yes the Indonesian Chinese to a large extent. I can't really speak for the Japs as I have far and few contact with them. Not so much for the others.

And here I refer to the menfolk.

My question is: Do we have to bring in the rest and we are also bringing in Malaysian Malays and Indians and Indonesian Malays.

Enough already!

Other Asides

If there is fear of a class divide, then let us all become egalitarian. Starting with the elites. Get off your high pedestal and live here among us.

Yes, my star sign is symbolled like Cartier's, Chanel or Celine. Therefore those luxury brands are my destinies.

TADA!

What Is Your Mission? Crime-Busting Right?

Remember that the mission of our crime-busters is simply this - to protect lives in cases of assault, theft, murder, rape and what have you and to prevent and track down criminals.

What is the point of being cooped up, keying in data into a burgeoning computer system filled with crime cases, filing reports, shuffling paper, sitting around and the mission statement is not met!

In the meantime, valuables are criminally misappropriated and stolen! And killers escape!

Another Consolation - An App-solutely Swell Guy!

I met this really swell guy.

Alvin, you know why I ditch you? You are not too bad but I find you cold, distant and uncaring at times. Yes a little selfish and self-absorbed even. I can't connect. Sorry.

Like all those money bois! Not just those rent-for-sex bois but the likes of Ben, Vic (his whoever), Old Aunty, the house movers, the rest. At least if you want money, give your patrons and customers what they deserve and not shortchange them! Money, money and more money!

But this guy is different! I see a lot of good things in him!

Enough Of Drama Shit!

Get this one more time into your thick head!

I will seriously jump off a building and kill myself if nothing pans out the next couple of months. I need that peace with a place to call my own. I will not live with anyone except my beau. And I am not staying with the low income, old folks, ethnics, women, wimps or whatever.

I have nothing in common with them. We don't speak the same language or have the same thinking. At best we are just friends.

As it is, I was estranged from my mom and I don't get along with my two sisters and elder brother.

Get this real right, YOU FUCKTARDS!

The Uninformed And The MisInformed Or MisLed Among Us (***Updated)

2009-12-14T11:24:00.011+08:00

One Smart Card For EveryThing

The past two months after losing my laptop and my belongings, I realised how lax and lacking the security system is. Very little in place to prevent or track down theft.

I still think that there must be a way of tagging valuables so that they can be traced in cases of loss. Maybe like the RFID thingy as long as it can't be peeled off (assuming it is a sticker).

And a all-in-one smart card that becomes our identification card, bank card, transport card, travel card and with the options to add on new membership identities (like clubs or shops) all rolled-into-one

In the event of a loss, everthing gets terminated automatically and it renders it useless for thieves.

Can You Trust Them?

And I am not even sure I can trust the people I live with. Could they be monitoring my movements and know where I was hanging out?

Old Aunty for one, Ben another.

And was it linked to the gym? Because Ben seemed totally unperturbed by the loss of his house keys and security access card.

More Bungles

And our dudes can extract wrong reports and give out wrong information and so on.

Considerations For The Only Piece Of Contactable And Storage Device

The loss of my mobile proved to be the most challenging. As it was up for re-contract and I needed it to be contactable (especially during this "crucial" period), I had to get hold of a new phone (perhaps too quickly).

Then there was the slew of considerations to make as the next place I am shifting to has no INTERNET connection and Internet Tethering seems like a likely choice though I am not sure if this will disable all calling and browsing functions on my mobile which is acting as a modem.

And the speed and connection.

When Will These People Tell You The Right Thing And Even The Webby Is UnClear Or Outdated

Information is scanty and outdated both on the web and in person. And there is seriously that lack of language proficiency and understanding or knowledge which leads to the wrong information. Plus muddled thinking.

Usually I get misinformed and apart from this Filipina and local? operator, the mobile retailer and my Saviouress, the rest of them were mostly quacks or non-sense spewers.

Strangely I thought FM radio means just that....transmission over radio frequency, so should it be chargeable on a GPRS network?

Excuse me if the literature is not clear about the protocols, GPRS, 2G, 2.5G and 3G.

***Nah....Correction. The literature is clear. The missing link is GSM and I have since learnt that is what is responsible for the cellular network while GPRS is more data-oriented. I didn't seriously read it carefully enough.

Because that is how it is now with all the bundled data plan.

Most wireless is free. If it isn't it would be locked and secured with pass-codes in the first place.

You are making me hate you more each day! And that is because you are just adding to the confusion.

Never Entirely For Love

And nobody lives for love alone. We all have aspirations, ambition and needs.

For me, a career in higher education (where I deal with the individual and the individual alone) and I can make my biggest contribution here. And I live for my beau (and or adopted boy kid) and yes I need a place of my own in an appropriate location.

I can't be a vegetable staying at home, become a house-husband and grow fat each passing day staring at the four walls.

Get that into your thick head!

AnOther Game Plan And You Die! (**Updated Updates)

2009-12-04T00:12:00.017+08:00

Proven Theory Going On To Become The "Law Of The UnHoly Trinity & The 2Fs"
If by now people cannot understand what my issues are with the UnHoly Trinity and the rest, let me repeat and relate my past experiences with them

The blimps are still stuck up there in their ways and thinking. And their past baggages. Remember Sim Mong Chai, He-Ape and you will know why.

The bimbs like Black Widow and fellow ex-colleagues have again proven this. And then there are wimps. The money bois (foreign and local), many of the gays I ran into like Daryl The Eunuch and oh, Chris (blimp and wimp).

Religious fanatics (She-Ape and some of my classmates) and foreigners (the employers I worked for and the people I stayed with) have again proven this theory very well.

Imagine on home ground and I have to constantly watch my back. Large numbers of foreign workers and our own people. Even manning our critical and security positions where money and our physical safety is concerned. From call centres dealing in telephony and banks to information technology.

And if our boys-in-blue can't do much, it does seem like a system is not in place to prevent and track down theft.

So what is the point again? Like the example of that cleaner at the pool?

Unless I see a change, this law is upheld.

First, All The "Incidents" At This Constituency (And I Can Only Guess Why)
Holy Mackerel! This is impossible!

I wrote about the various incidents at Tampines where the senior gym instructress kick-started a chain of bad events. Then there was my stolen pack of ciggies while showering at the gymnasium followed by the old Malay uncle who will always come in to clean up the showers at the Community club only when I step in.

This cleaner at the Community Club is almost like the old Malay uncle at the other public swimming pool who does that. And you just have a feeling he and the previous tatooed old Ah Beng cleaner before him was doing it on purpose. Anyway he just wets the floor, really. Just making it slippery and dangerous for users. Never really scrubbing it.

So what is the point?

While at the swim pool once, I left behind a pair of trunks and only when I got home I discovered the loss. The next day I found it on an ethnic swimmer and an argument with another ethnic lifeguard ensued who was his friend. So was this a collaboration?

Don't forget an Old Chinese uncle actually took my travel bag away when I left it on the arena steps and went for my jog. And I know my wallet was rummaged. He may have good intentions (or was it under the pretext of safe-keeping that he wanted to know its contents) but were they really?

UnBelievably! Beware! Jurong West Stadium Is A Danger Spot!
Guess what! And I could lose my travel bag right under my nose!

I have blogged before how Jurong West stadium and all its other facilities were left in disarray only after opening for not long.

And that is because the foreign cleaners I noticed at that time were making the store their home and seems to be pre-occupied with listening to their ethnic music and what-nots.

Unbelievably, There Could Be Thieves Like That In Broad Daylight - Beef Up Security If It Is A Known Danger Spot And ForeWarn All Users! And This Had To Happen On Home Turf!
Today, I lost my travel bag and all my valuables in it. You name it, I had it. Wallet, mobile phone, house keys, all forms of identification cards, security card, membership cards, my travel bag, polo, jeans, sunglasses, spectacles, cash, transport card (to name those I remember).

I had to borrow money to go home in a cab and again it poured like cats and dogs!

And when I got "home", I was locked out for several hours because Old Aunty wasn't in. She is home most of the time (providing guardianship to all of us older adults at our kinda ages, cooking meals for us to eat and preparing our hot baths - snigger - wait long long) and of all days, she had to be NOT at home!

In fact, she didn't prove any help at all when I lost my lappie last. And all she wanna know is where you eat, how much you spend, where you go and so on. I suppose if I happen to be at Jurong, I should travel all the way down to Ang Mo Kio and pay for a "delicious" meal of a $2.50 "longkang" wanton mee at a hawker centre!

I travelled all the way to Jurong today because a school called and I am not even sure if I got the job! And this had to happen! FUCK!

Insider! Can You Trust Them?
I have a funny feeling it is an inside job. First the whole place was empty. The moment I changed and got ready, there were a few others who joined in. And it was lunch-time, mind you!

An ethnic female "teacher" (according to the cleaner and I feel it in my bones she is a single mom as she claimed to be using her daughter's mobile), then someone in "army-sloganed" tanks and his friend and even the kindergarteners and families were passing by the area for whatever reasons.

And yes I have noticed the foreign workers milling around here. Sitting around, people-watching and at the playground. From the MRT, I already notice an ethnic who kept looking at me and where I went to smoke, he followed. And yes, foreign workers donning the exact same brand of clothes I did! How they got them I can't be sure! If it isn't theirs!

But of course it can be anybody! One of us, Chinese, male or female, young or old, local or foreign, about anyone!

Who Can You Believe?
In fact it seems that these people are more the culprits rather than the heroes they make themselves out to be. Inevitably they always seem to make it like the rest of us are the suspects. The so called "educators", the cleaners, the washers, the public transport staff, maybe even people meant to protect us? The counsellors?

Like this ethnic "teacher" who postulated that whoever it was, was probably eyeing and observing me. She IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! FUCK ! Maybe she was too! And she was on her daughter's handset which she claimed she was listening to music. Maybe she was giving out instructions to the thieves? Just a postulate!

Even kids would hover around me when I hang a soft-toy on my satchel. Holy Shitty Tornado! And I could see his Mom in the distance breaking into a smile. Another one of your drama-mama scripts you are staging?

Cuss You Even More! Another Of Your GamePlan And Pranks!
If you think you wanna stage another drama like this and script my life further, YOU ARE FUCKING WRONG! There will be no change in my set direction. YOU CAN GO TO HELL AND DROP FUCKING DEAD! Get it?

The more you do this, the more I will hate you. The community (young or old, local or foreign, gay or otherwise, gender-based, ethnic, rich or poor, wateva), and the rest. GET this into your fucking head! Motherfuckers!

Thieving! And These Things Are Mine And They Won't Look Good On You!
This is the last straw. Theft! And whatever I own will not look nice on you! And they are not yours! My cusses remain! You are CUSSED forever....

"SomeWhere Over The RainBow" (Updated)

2009-11-28T14:56:00.006+08:00

SomeWhere Over The Rainbow

More songs, what else!

Of so many versions sung by so many different people, I personally like the ones by Doris Day and Celine Dion and only because I didn't listen to the entire listing but sampled a few.

On hindsight, the ones by the originator "Judy Garland, "Celtic Woman" and American Idol Jason Castro were really good. And I got to see one of my favorite singers "Josh Groban" in a duet rendering the same song.

This song really kicks!

From Now On, It Is Gonna Be All Apple For Computing, Audioing And Cellularing

To keep my mind engaged even further, I am gonna spend at least the next 6 months studying the Mac OS X.

As it is, I am enjoying the quiet, solid and very stable UNIX system it runs on and many of Mac's unique and useful features.

I may actually migrate to its system eventually, ditching Windows for good?

And as a final tribute to all things Apple, I am gonna switch to an iPhone and Ipod very, very soon when my re-contract comes up. Among some of my wishlist would be that Iphone will feature screen-savers and messaging emoticons real soon !

Ode to Apple!

I Am (Wo)Man (Song By Helen Reddy), "Money, Money, Money" (Abba), "Material Girl" (Madonna) & "Thank You For Being A Friend" (Andrew Gold)

2009-11-20T11:05:00.010+08:00

I Know I Promised To Blog On Friday
I will be blogging when I get home tonight.

In the meantime, bear with me and I leave you a song popularized by Helen Reddy. Just change the gender and it becomes "MAN", what else.

But Guess What? I Am Just Too Shagged Out And It Is Only Sunday Today!
But hey, today is already Sunday....and I am bloody shagged out by all the past events. From losses to losses. So I think I will pass on blogging and just leave you with the titles of the song.

Please look them up and sing to the lyrics. I think they do encapsulate some of our general feelings at times?

Oh yes, several new additions like "Money, Money, Money" by ABBA.......what else??? And don't forget to all the f(r)iends out there, "Thank You For Being A F(r)iend" by Andrew Gold written for the popular drama serial "Golden Girls".

Finally to round it all off, "Material Girl" (Madonna).

TADA!

Breaking Point - I Am Tired
Look, we all have our breaking point, man or woman, young or old, wateva.

I have reached mine. You had your fun. Now grant me my passageway......

Please! $ob $ob $ob?

More Emo-ing Over A Lost Lappie And Other Bad News- Boo Hoo! Boo Hoo! (New)

2009-11-16T23:25:00.021+08:00

How Many People In This Fucking World Actually Lose Their Lappies? There You Are...It Is A Darn, Fucking, Stinking Predatory World And You Wanna Trust Humans?
You know what? I don't think I am over yet emo-ing over my lost lappie....

And I can only put my loss down to several factors:

1. eversince that new guy (let's call him LV dude) moved next to my room, I have been harassed by what was once his "sleeping" partner. This "sleeping partner" drives a Tourism Coach and he has been waylaying me at home like near my bedroom and outside the mansion. He will cover his face with papers and so on and pretend that he is buried in reading while waylaying and harassing me.

2. then the LV dude who is still staying here, is dirtying the toilet to get back at me because I wasn't smiling to him and I dont want to because we are too close in proximity and I need my space and privacy. And I am NOT AT ALL sexually interested in him.

3. another new guy has moved into Henry's (Henry is the other tenant who has since moved out and not to be confused with Henry my ex-lecturer) quarters and he and this LV dude seem to be "getting more than along".

Speaking of Henry, he looks a lot like Richard my ex-lecturer.

They also look like the same guy who was recommended me by a government agency when I was looking for premises to start a school.

My first impression was bad. He spoke of how traffic wardens and the traffic police are always out in full force when they need revenue (another gripe). Then I couldn't trust him because I asked if other schools will be allowed to start on their premises as well but he couldn't vouch for that.

And the place wasn't appropriate because it was stocking construction materials and it was also running their own programs and business programs happen to be one of them. I was afraid of being taken over. Guess what! My hunch was right! Today it has become a full-fledged academy and not the HQ of the construction industry as it was back then.

4. Someone told me he lost his electronic dictionary just days before this incident. It was a sob-story that rubbed on to me I guess. How else will you explain this ? Moral of the story is ....LAY OFF SOB STORIES because it may just befall me....

5. I seldom take out my notebook to public places these days and when I do, it is always in a travel bag. But that fateful day, I had to, because Ben has issued the ultimatum for me to vacate the place (and I suspect that this LV dude is Ben's friend and they were harassing me because Ben wants back his room) and I was trying to look for a new place online.

Or Ben has plans to lease it out to some foreign students like the Chinese students in my school because he has contact with my Chinese ex-roomie.

6. And I was hand carrying my lappie that day, something which I have never done before in my whole entire life.

7. Backpain, braces' tightness, vision strain, grogginess, a splitting headache from stresses, all my losses, etc SO I LET GO OF MY LAPPIE, what else.

8. Plus, not having the security of my home or an office or a home office (imagine if it RAINS) where I can properly do my work and stuff. Some quiet, ideal places out there have such BAD INTERNET CONNECTION.

People must be eyeing me when I was hand carrying my lappie.

I suspect it could even be from my school, the students.

The passengers like those off-duty, across-the-causeway bus captains aboard the bus speaking in accented Cantonese (and there are plenty of them around as mothers with kids in tow, home-makers, coffee-shop assistants and operators, etc, etc). Or even the kindly-looking shopkeeper where I boarded my buses.

So you see, I let down my guard and in a moment of weakness, BAD THINGS START TO HAPPEN!

Plus whoever is still holding on to my lappie is A STINKING FUCKING LOWDOWN criminal and thief who is MISAPPROPRIATING LOST PROPERTY. I am surprised this happens in Singapore but I can't be sure if that person is ONE OF US?

I suggest that RFID tags (which in this case should be a Serial Number, if not, what good is a SERIAL NUMBER for?) be made compulsory for all past and present valuable properties like lappies and luxury goods so that should they be misappropriated or stolen, they CAN BE TRACKED DOWN ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD!

Cuss You!
My cuss remains.

Whoever has done this to me will suffer something in return. What I don't know. Something debilitating, an accident, some misfortune, maybe even a horrible death.

Even if he/she lives long and suffers nothing (seemingly), at least on the surface, on the day of death and on her/his deathbed, all the demons will gather round and he/she will suffer great throes of sufferings, pain and anguish and his/her gut will gnaw at him/her before he/she dies.

That is the way it will be.

Was That Why I Didn't Fare As Well In School Back Then?
This also brings to mind how difficult it was to follow the business or school texts of old, which were usually overseas editions.

It is like foreign currencies and units of measure (imagine doing conversions for pence, penny, shilling, gallons, yards, foot and what have you). Language was usually stiff and rigid laced with many of that said country's cultural backdrop. The names of places, people, events and food items. And it wasn't very illustrative or user-friendly.

Very much like reading a Victorian piece of literature and for an ordinary, in the street folk, how many of us actually has contact with the kinda setting, backdrop, cultural habits and language of the said country?

Psycho Movies
Chris has been screening movies for his students again. So I learnt from an ex-classmate I ran into.

Of course we all know that movies have never made it to the Golden Psi List except for some television dramas (which is an award handed out for realistic portrayals of psychology). And worse, there is always that element of an "artistic licence". Therefore there is always that CAUTIONARY WARNING!

But seriously these three movies were not that bad.

They were "Patch Adams", "Doubt" (Oscar nominee) and "Girl Interuppted" (1999 Academy Award Winner for Best Supporting Actress and that honor goes to Angelina Jolie).

"Patch Adams" taught us the moral of the importance of laughter and positivism in promoting good health. That was the philosophy behind Patch Adams' institution and all those physically and mentally sick and crazy people actually needed friends to talk to and happiness in their lives.

"Doubt" also shows the austerity of the Roman Catholic orders especially among the nuns. When a priest tries to break that tradition in his pastoral role in school, he is regarded with suspicion by the nun principal and forced to resign. Undertones of homosexuality and its discrimination.

Finally "Girl Interrupted" was the funniest and the best. It showcased several "loonies" "incarcerated" in a mental institution and their intricate relationships and past histories. Angelina Jolie rightly deserves her winning role for her more than realistic portrayal of a sociopath.

Again the movie highlighted how we are actually all NORMAL people living in AN ABNORMAL world.

What Would You Say Is Your Most Significant Achievement In Life? And My Answer Would Be...........
And yeah we all know the hype about achievement and significant contribution in life.

So if ever anyone were to ask me what was my most significant achievement in life, I would reply:

"Having great sex?"

And as an afterthought....

"Loads of it......."

And a further afterthought......

"And oh yes.....owning luxury goods.......tonnes of it?"

Another AfterThought
And was my cataract a result of a past double eyelid surgery? Did it kinda disarm my eyelashes and eyelid from its protective function against the sun?

And I agree that like a Western notion of what constitute correct dress protocol when donning a business shirt with tie for formal office wear (as against a Mandarin collar), the Western concept of a double eyelid as beautiful (versus a natural Asian single eyelid) is also flawed.

My next question is : What will be the after-effects of skin laser...?????

There Are Other Bracing Systems Out There!
Remember what I have mentioned about an imperfect world in terms of knowledge. Well this illustrates my point succinctly.

I just found out there were comparable bracing systems out there in the world today.

One promised INSTANT braces with only 2 visits and no extractions and no relapses. Another promised a shorter time with fewer visits and better quality results.

Mine has taken me almost two years and I probably have half a year more to go. Plus another two years wearing retainers.

Prices were either cheaper or comparable. So why was information withheld for whatever reasons? Why wasn't I informed of what was available? Or was I just caught on the wrong side of the technology advance curve?

Sigh! Enough of bad news already and given my age, do they have to.......................? The young have better coping capacity but please, can you spare me...........?

"I Will Survive" (Gloria Gaynor) And 2009 Remix By Pussy Cat Dolls
Finally I leave you with this song .

It embodies what I think I will be enunciating for some time to come.............

What Else Before I Drop Dead?
My rice bowl has been broken by many people. I have lost money and my home. I can't move on to my higher education. My physical and mental health is poor. I am not sure what is gonna happen next....

I may just die from it all..............

The Way Forward (Newest)

2009-11-12T21:56:00.017+08:00

Clarification : It Is Not To Be Taken Literally But Figuratively
I hope readers did not take it too literally when I wrote about the hearing and intellectually-impaired.

I am sure they understood that I meant those who did not hear or understand what I had said or written in my blogs.

The likes of people who love throwing their weight around and who obviously do not listen and always cut in when you talk to them.

People like that senior instructress at the gym (and I had a quite a few incidents at this constituency), the assistant manager at my school (effectively a sales consultant) and the rest.

Oh yeah! I actually ran into the Eunuch Daryl just today. He seems to be doing fine. The usual posturing, false accent, pompoity (so full of himself, that fucking wimpy prick) and nonsense. He is an "educator", mind you.

But one day he will get his just dessert. Nearer old age if he lives long enough or upon his death. It will not be peaceful I assure you. It will be a horrible death. He will be gnawed inside of him before he kicks the bucket.

Human (Song By "Human League")
No matter.

I am human after all, of flesh and blood I am made, born to make mistakes (TADA - lyrics of the song and yes Wang Lee Hom actually did a "TADA" pose when he debuted at ION Orchard's Grand Opening).

I do feel a whole range of emotions, feelings (nothing more than feelings - TADA again with lyrics from the the other song "Feelings") and frustrations from day to day, even hour on the hour. I do need to VENT "my feelings" and my blog seems like the WAY TO GO!

Feelings (Song By Morris Albert)
Like the pain I have been experiencing the last couple of weeks. The throbbing pain centred right between my browhead and a kinda cold searing sensation running down my back in addition to what else but more pain. Which includes pain from my knees.

At times I felt like passing out, feel disoriented (maybe my braces and vision played their part in making me feel even groggier), light-headed and dizzy especially among crowds and constant movement.

That explains my agitation and irritability when I am faced with harassment from groups I blogged about. And by the way any community, young or old, ethnic or otherwise, foreign or local must remember that if stereotypes are to be broken, they must prove themselves and earn the respect from the rest of us

And of course a fillthy toilet at "home" (whch attracts fruit flies sticking on to dental floss, hair, food scraps, urine and faecal stains) just adds up, doesn't it? I mean it is living quarters after all and don't we all wanna keep our abodes clean?

Which explains why I could actually lose my notebook! $%^#@@@.

An UnLucky Day (Hey! Sounds Like I Am Writing A Primary Fourer Essay All Over Again!)
That was the worst day of my life.

After almosting fainting from the grogginess and all the pain, I finally discovered I had misplaced my notebook. I frantically retraced my steps. A search at the showers, the booking office and the bus depot turned up nothing.

To add to all my woes, it poured and that delayed me from swinging into action fast. I was caught in the rain and my mobile shut down several times (despite having upgraded the software at a fee previously) while I was making all the necessary calls to the LOST AND FOUND hotlines.

I hadn't eaten the whole day and thought I could catch a quick bite at the Jap restaurant while waiting for the rain to stop but to place an order I had to literally walk round the restaurant windows and pick out little wooden sticks showing the food menu items I wanted.

IT WAS SUCH A HASSLE I decided to go hungry.

The cab I hailed to head down to the premium reseller was a NEW driver and GOD, I had to direct him in the sad emotional and physical state I was in.

I finally decided to go home, ate my late lunch at the nearby foodmall and slumped in my bed, dead to the world to sleep over the UNLUCKY DAY I have had. I really wanted to DIE that day, feeling weak and tired and mentally washed out.

I only managed to pick up my strength the following day, filed an online police report and the store supervisor of another authorised reseller I visited that day was really my SAVIOURESS!

As an afterthought, something should be done about the Serial Number of the product which will make it effectively the ID for its owner and no theft or criminal misappropriation is possible.

Like making it the de-facto log-in identification and anyone else using it will be caught red-handed?

Really Wonderfully Conceived Audio Products That Needs A Bit More Research And Refinement?
When I came across these two sets of capsule speakers engineered in Singapore but manufactured in China and Taiwan respectively, I was REALLY taken up with their conception.

I am not sure if they are one and the same company but the products were similar on many counts.

While one was doing fine, another wasn't. At least not the model I picked up. But its other model was working well. Does that explain why its webby was signed off as "a works in progress"and the products at another shop were "sold out" (or was it recalled or withdrawn)?

The retractable cables were a wonderful concept but it couldn't retract to its original position. The sticker logos (like my mobile the last time) came off easily and there was an accompanying bee-buzzing sound along with the volume. And yes, the white models stain very easily like mine did.

However, it has many things going for it. The volume tuner, the accordion-like bass resonator which with one twist opens up and the cool magnetic attachment of two capsules to make it ONE neat tower.

All it needs is further research and refinement. Perhaps even going wireless. I am sure there is a HUGE market demand for such an innovative and clever portable audio device.

Anyway international brands do have their faults too like two USB slots spaced too closely together to fit odd-sized USB devices (what with new and creative designs happening nowadays). But this is easily overlooked by using an extension USB port?

Sometimes even straps of internationally designed lappie bags meant to hold down the lappie don't velcro together at the right places to REALLY HOLD IT DOWN!

Not to mention a local edition of an internation fashion magazine could caption a luxury brand fashion wear wrongly. Guess it could mistake the uncanny resemblance of some of the brands' respective logos or is it? Think Chanel and Chloe. Is there a resemblance in the first place?

Therefore, what can I say if humans can make mistakes (if I make mistakes, it only has private consequences but hey.....these are public mistakes) but well done SINGAPORE!

Do We Wanna Regress Or Do We Wanna Move Forward?
We have gotten to where we are and it is either an inflexion point or a upward sloping gradient (mathematically speaking).

We can't regress.

Otherwise we will have to go back to building thatched-roof or mud houses and worse, reverting to THE BUCKET SYSTEM!

What can I say again? "Yucks" I guess?

And as a further afterthought, do we really wanna revert to the old ways of folklore, myths, superstition, traditional medicine (like drilling into human heads to treat psychopathologies back in the old days?) and the whole ding-dong thingy by bringing in large numbers of Third World new immigrants?

What Will Be The Solution To Capturing An Even Greater Market Share And Keeping It A Perpetually Captive Audience Especially For Innovative And Useful Products ? Comprehensive Product Knowledge (So That The Full Range Of Benefits Of The Products And Services Are Exploited) And Training Done Uniformly Across The Board?
Knowledge is imperfect. Hence, there are HUGE GAPING GAPS and LAPSES in product knowledge even among sales personnel working for THE SAME BRAND.

Not my saviouress. She kinked out my audio output problem by just enabling the correct audio device. A check with other sales staff and even on forums mistakenly attributes the fault to not installing the appropriate drivers or that we had to wait for such a technical update which wasn't available now.

I am so sorry. That was the reason why I made my SAVIOURESS do the software loading. I just wanna make sure everything works. I spoke too soon when I told her I trust the speakers worked. They didn't and I had to return to the store the next day to replace them.

And yes no "expert" knows everything.

"Seasons In The Sun - GoodBye To You My Trusted Friend" & "I Have A Dream" (Updated)

2009-10-27T23:37:00.015+08:00

One More Stumping Question And The Sole Correct Answer Provided
Oh yes before I forget.

Another stumping question extracted from this assessment paper courtesy of our education publishing house.

Q: They ........... Lee as a mentor to them
Choices: look upon, look to.....
A: Look upon

To me, both are acceptable. If there is another choice like "look up to" (meaning respect), this would also figure favourably as an acceptable answer.

Poignant And Meaningful Lyrics, Beautiful Melody And It All Just Came Pouring Back
All of a sudden the lyrics of this song by Terry Jacks in the 70s sprang to my mind. This song was copied from a Belgian singer and Westlife revived it in 1999/2000. In fact Westlife also reprised another song made famous by the Swedish group ABBA, "I Have A Dream".

I have presented both songs' lyrics here.

Maybe because two hot gorgeous RI boys sat right across from me on the MRT just a couple of hours ago and that triggered the memory of this song.

One was fair and beautiful and he was clutching a silver trophy he had won for some sports competition while his sun-kissed muscled friend sitting next to him had won the gold.

I think they are good friends and I enjoyed watching both of them share a moment or two of a relational intimacy between themselves.

In part I dedicate this to Francis Wee, my ex-classmate who had died last month under mysterious circumstances. I can only guess at what had happened but I refuse to speculate other than it was un-natural death.

Though we were not extremely close (yes we climbed Mt Ophir together, had a common friend in a gay seminarian and Patrick Ee was another mutual gay friend) and I was annoyed Francis didn't really respond when I bumped into him agan while on a teaching assignment at Wicked StepMother's and Daryl Chan's, nonethless we did hang out for a while.

I didnt attend his funeral wake. I was too besotted with problems myself and tired out, I guess.

I thought I should share the lyrics with you and leave the interpretation open.

Seasons In The Sun Lyrics

Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we've climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and ABC's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees

Goodbye my friend it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there
We had joy, we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed
Were just seasons out of time

Goodbye Papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along

Goodbye Papa it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children everywhere
When you see them, I'll be there
We had joy, we had fun We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song
Like the seasons have all gone

We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song
Like the seasons have all gone

Goodbye Francis my little one
You gave me love and helped me find the sun
And every time that I was down
You would always come around
And get my feet back on the ground

Goodbye Francis it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there

I Have A Dream

I have a dream, a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy

To help me through reality

And my destination makes it worth the while

Pushing through the darkness still another mile

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

Real Education For A Real World (Updated Updates)

2009-10-25T11:49:00.027+08:00

Bonkity Bonkers
I am glad my recent shopping and window-shopping spree have not been in vain.

It is the only thing I have got, by the way, in lieu of all the recent traumatic events that had happened.

The financial crisis, all my losses, all the psychopathologies, living conditions, the various personalities I meet and the nonsensities they spout.

Chew On This
I mean what is the point of dwelling on psychopathologies and labelling someone as such. Is it gonna help him in any way?

That is the thing about friends (or is it fiends) too isn't it? Gay or otherwise. We sit together, eat, watch a movie or a soccer match, talk no end but what is that gonna lead?

Am I gonna recoup my financial losses? Get back my home? A job? Anything?

Positive Psychology - Love, Art (And Here It Can Mean Designer Or Luxury Brands), Beauty, Sports, Health, Food,The Works
I am kinda practising positive psychology now.

Appeciating beautiful objects like young Asian Chinese (here it embraces Koreans and Japanese)and Western men (and boys), art, luxury brand apparels and leathergoods and laying my hands on whatever new knowledge that I can .

To work off all those negativities, I am running and walking and boy, is it therapeutic and mind-engaging!

The Latest Cigarette/Cigar Lighter Technology
For one, cigarette/cigar lighter technology has advanced to the stage that there is no need for a flame and it is completely smokeless. Much like smokeless tobacco.

That means being environmentally friendly with none of the pollutant and contaminant that is soot. Designer brands seem to have gone miles ahead here while luxury brands are in a lull.

The new technology does put across a science concept of the bunsen burner more clearly than what my teachers have ever done in school.

And yes the Pickens Power Play Plan is certainly at work here. Gaseous fuels is always friendlier than liquid fuels and clean energy is the way to go forward.

What's more the bigger issue of the needless transfer of wealth especially to your nemeses. In fact this concept should be extended and studied more thoroughly and applied to other equally disturbing "transfer of wealth" issues. All countries please take note!

I am fully behind you Sir! May you be that old world force I need to get back on my feet like in the movie "Transformers - Revenge Of The Fallen"

Newest Pen Technology?
Again designer brands reign. It is amazing enough that they have an all-in-one pen. Rollerballs, ballpoints, fountain and mechanical pencils. Others claim to function as styluses, highlighters (I was told about this but wasn't shown any) and one luxury brand even has a USB device attached.

Now the consumer has to decide which is a more worthwhile proposition - a singular function pen or a multi-purpose one. Plus the fact that the price for each pen may just add up to equal the price of a all-rolled-into-one pen.

And if twist or click versus cap and uncap would help in cases of ink leakages.

You will be surprised that in both the above cases, the sales staff may not know any better and try to get away with it.

Where Have All The MensWear Gone? (Peter Seeger's Song "Where Have All The Flowers Gone?")
The women are having a ball here. What with multi, strictly Amiga only brands and multi-assorted new designs and colors.

Poor amigos like us are stuck with black, chocolate, grey or white (especially the underwear section) for color choices and the few deemed classic designs for men. Not to mention that menswear are MIA for some luxury brands here.

Liz Claiborne would be yet another example and all the while I thought it was strictly only womenswear.

Hijacking What Was Traditonally A Male Symbol NeckWear
The Romas have even hijacked our Boy Scouts' neckerchief and claim it as their very own fashion neckwear! Shame on you if that has left us empty-handed!

So What If I Turn A Sweater Wear Inside Out Or Upside Down Especially Here In The Tropics

And who cares if here in the tropics, I turn a sweater (at least to the Americans, that is what they call it just like a handkerchief is called a pocket square) into a daytime wear minus the apparel inside. Just as long as it isn't too knitted-looking or see-through or thick wooly woollen.

Finally A Little Male Fashion Wear Reprieve And Concession

Thank god, Mango has just recently started its Homini Emerito line at a local department store.

By "local" I mean sited here in Singapore and not of local origins - in fact, this store is Japanese.

Which brings me to my point of how we should reconcile the two, like a foreign domestic maid, oxymoronic as it sounds or should I then re-phrase it as a local foreign department store.

Are we poor Amico souls having a bad deal? Like we aren't already in other respects?

Who Says The Social Sciences Is An Inferior Science When Compared To The Hard Sciences Or Maths?
The social sciences especially languages or business is a dynamic discipline that cannot be like the Maths or the Sciences where it is neatly right or wrong.

Higher Maths like Calculus is highly abstract and probably good for building mental agility, speed and aspiring to lofty but purely academic mathematical pursuits.

But in the long run, the social sciences is more "application and hands-on" much like Information Technology, a hard science.

I just realised that about myself. The books I read are usually of this kind. Software application packages, psychology, financial investment, fashion, sports and gym-training.

A Condensed Comprehension Passage And Graphic-Stimulus Passage (Extracted From A Text Published By Our Local Foreign? Education Publishing House) For A Primary Fiver Just Boggles
Read these condensed materials, the questions asked about them , the sole model answer provided in each case and let me know what you think.

By the way the whole action happened underwater in a bayou for the comprehension passage.

Is A Scenario Like This Possible? Is There Only One Correct Answer Or Are There Other Possibilities?

".......... The rescuer got hold of a knife and tried to cut through the nylon strap but it was futile......the baby rescued was hanging like a limp blue doll.......rescuers tried resuscitation.....and just as the medical staff were about to give up......it was miraculously revived........"

Q: "Why do you think the rescuer couldn't cut through the nylon strap?"
A: "The knife was blunt"

Here Goes Other Possibilities
What about another possibility that the underwater pressure and current was just too overwhelming (*yes, quit staring at me again, this in fact employs science to answer the question).

Or that the rescuer was feeling tired, weak and effeminate at that point in time.

Or the nylon was just too tough or that the knife was too small or the rescuer was diminutive in size?

Another Stumping Question
Q; "Quote the phrase to show that the baby's revival was a miracle"
A: "Like a limp blue doll"

And Another Possible Answer?
How about "medical staff were about to give up"?

We know that since a phrase is needed, "miraculously" is most probably out.

Is This Testing English Language Proficiency In The First Place? Or Is It A General Knowledge/Geography Question And How Is "Region" Defined Anyway Especially In This Case - Asia Pacific Region?

".......Stand to win attractive prizes like a trip to the region........."

Q: "Where will prize-winners get to go away to?"
Choices: "Canada, New Zealand, Australia and Indonesia"
Answer: "Indonesia"

This Would Be The Purview Of The Education Ministry And The Educators
And please, don't give me that dirty look. I am not responsible. The educators are. The publishers are. The ministry is. They should have highlighted this, asked and debated on this and put things right.

A bigger question is: will such questions be set and if so, will the ministry accept other possibilities or JUST ONE "RIGHT" ANSWER or at least what they deem to be "RIGHT".

Should publishers screw our students even more with this kinda publication?

One Last Comment About My Program Of Study
My last module was taught by a certain Laurence. He wasn't too bad. The Egan's Model he espouses wasn't too bad either in that it provided a structure and framework for counsellors to work with.

Except that application is quite another thing. I deem the skills set too much of a questioning skills set, including asking miracle questions.

Apart from my blog about the materials, I do have some issues with the personalities of the lecturers and some of the things they said. Would I entrust my life and my mind to these people? I would think real hard I guess.

I would rate my lecturers from BEST to WORST thus:

*Karen, Reena, Laurence, Henry, Richard & finally the one who takes the cake.....Chris..TADA!*

At Whose Convenience? Yours Or Mine?
Our transport operators termed it a "convenience fee". I am referring to the CEPAS-linked Giro Reload EZ card which charges $0.25 for every auto top-up.

At whose convenience, I might like to know.

Is it convenient for us, the citizens? Who do we have for travelling companions? Foreign workers of all kinds and sometimes in their working clothes. Loud chatters. A babel of tongues. All kinds of habits.

What use is it to clean and spruce up, modernise and build some of our public amenities and housing to be spanking new architectural marvels? Who patronises them and what happens?

Do citizens get any better in terms of ridership privileges?

I Should Have Been Him And His Job Mine
I came across new Chinese citizens in our midst. They started schools in 2002. Why couldn't I? Because I didn't agree with the fire-safety rules. Then came the licensing agreement. After which a constituency surgery bungle ensued.

And what of Ben? He has been here since his primary school days and yet he is only a PR? Why isn't he committed? Seems like he is here only for the taking. To kill two birds with one stone? Or is he trying to escape NS liabilities, so an older age like 40 would be a better time when liabilities end.

Is this fair? Bigger question is has he made a BIG difference? I don't think so. I don't see it. If he has, it is only to be seen and a political move. No real impact. No real difference.

What he does is actually my job. He took it away from me. Plus he has the advantage of the patronage of his well-to-do father.

At whose convenience again, may I ask.

The Cathay Gallery, Exaggerated Devastation, Fund-Raising, Of Uomos And Hommes Particularly Asians & A Repeat To Remind The Hearing-Impaired (Newest)

2009-10-09T09:41:00.040+08:00

The Cathay Gallery
Everyone should, if they can, take a peek inside the museum housed at The Cathay building.

It traces cinematography in general, its own filmographic rising in Asia, particularly SEA, while chronicling the life and times of Loke Yew, his fourth wife Lim Kim Cheng, his descendants especially the couple's only son Dato Loke Wan Tho.

The short clip of the tragic plane-crash in Taiwan which killed Dato Loke Wan Tho, his wife Mavis and his top management people in the movie industry must certainly ring a a heart-felt note of sadness and loss even among us who don't know him personally.

All I can gather is that Dato Loke Wan Tho was an adventurer, a traveler, an expeditionist, a naturalist, an intellectual cum academician, an entrepreneur, a sportsman, an arts, culture and movie buff whose myriad of interests brought him halfway around the globe.

Someone who built up international relations with whomever he meets. Among them, American luminaries like Bob Hope, Jerry Lewis, William Holden and mother of local celebrity, Anita Sarawak, Siput Sarawak.

From cinema seats and movie-screening equipment to admission tickets of old, this museum holds a place in our hearts for the benefit of posterity.

There were old movie clips of Malay folktales like "Pontianak", "Hang Tuah/Jebat", "Orang Minyak (Oily Man)" and the rest. Movies which I have watched when I was a kid.

Everyone should visit if not for a glimpse of cinematic history then perhaps a slice of genealogy and personal history of a GREAT MAN of his times.

3 Days In China But In Singapore, It Takes At Least Two Years Or More
The Chinese has a saying that it takes three days to build a house in their home country.

When I see pictures of the devastation wrought about by typhoons or quakes in the various regions recently, I could see the kinda simple structure and the low rises and the very low-rises they were made of and I am pretty sure they can be rebuilt doubly quick and cheaply too.

Not so in Singapore as we all know how our construction industry works, especially in the public housing sector, being high rises that they are.

Therefore I think there could be more exaggeration than there is fact in the various disaster reports.

Dear Gal, Why Don't You Sell Your LV HandBag Or Home Before Even Asking Another To Raise Funds For The Poor And The Disaster-Stricken Victims Overseas
As I sat eating at the Japanese foodmall, I couldn't help noticing different cliques of people dining at the other tables.

After they have finished and were dispersing, a young lady walked up to me and asked to sit down to chat with me.

It turns out she was soliciting funds for a NGO in Cambodia which coincidentally was affiliated to the orphanage I know.

Hey, what about soliciting funds for me? I have lost my everything and I am at my wit's end (because nothing is working out for me at the moment). Especially like how I am gonna claw back my losses, recoup them and get me my own home and higher education.

The young ladies were well-dressed. Just like the other girls and boys you see on the streets and in our education instituitions, some are even togged out in luxury-branded high-fashion and accessories (one was carrying a LV handbag).

How paradoxical!

Where Are The Hommes And Uomos For Some Of The Luxury Brands Here Like Fendi and Loewe?
Menswear sales is outstripping womenswear worldwide.

But why is it not happening here in Singapore? Especially the luxury brands?

And Fendi, Loewe, Versace, Bottega Veneta, Salvatore Ferragamo, Yves Saint Laurent, Bally Givenchy, Valentino (plus many more) do not have a a "homme" or "uomo" presence here be it ready-wear, bespoke, haute couture or accessories.

At best they feature a very limited range of their products. For example, accessories and some outer-wear but not the ready-to-wear in the case of Salvatore Ferragamo, Bally and Bottega Veneta.

Or a complete non-presence here at all especially apparels. Fendi and Loewe for instances.

Seasonal Changes In Tropical South East Asia?
And the four seasons compressed into a period of six months for F/W and S/S each just cannot apply here in tropical Singapore or for that matter South East Asia or anywhere else where the climate is ruled by the equator all year round.

The year's seasons should be divided into quarters with three of that set aside for spring/summer in this part of the world.

Boutique, Concept Stores & Certainly Location Especially In The Heart Of Orchard Road Is Important

And we appreciate and prefer more boutique or concept stores kinda thingy. Not department stores where just too many brands and apparels are lumped together, crying out for our attention.

Usually they don't get the full attention they deserve. Pierre Cardin & Balmain for example.

Or simply ONE brand carrying its everything in its OWN BOUTIQUE STORE! Custom-fits, ready-wears, eyewears, leathergoods, accessories, neckwears, fragrances, timepieces, whatever.

No point putting all those beautiful, masterful pieces of art in the far corner or a quiet end of Orchard Road where human traffic is S-L-O-W? Simply because it ain't happening at this end and there is NO sheltered or covered LINK from central Orchard to HERE, transportational or otherwise! Imagine if it rains.

So why are HOMBREs kinda missing out when the women are already having a ball here with the likes of Herve Leger, Chanel, Kate Spade, Chloe, BCBGMaxAzria, Miu Miu, Max Mara, Diane Von Furstenberg and the rest.....

These are strictly FEMME, ELLE and DONNAs' wear with none of their ROMO counterparts in sight.

Don't forget book-stores, fine dining cafes, flower-shops and confectioneries in the case of Armani and you get the picture how our retail scene here is getting boring and lifeless.

This certainly calls for a RADICAL and REVOLUTIONARY change in the way we think and map out the retail fashion, dining and lifestyle scene here.

And Asian-Sized Modifications
From spectacle frames to vertical hand-carry bags to fashion apparel.

In terms of nose-bridges, height, body built, foot-sizes and facial features, we need bodily modifications in some respects.

More Chinese Themes, Features And Designs For Casuals, FormalWear And In-Betweens, Priced Cheaper And Catering To A Mid-To-Younger Generation
I feel sad too that a Chinese luxury brand hasn't got more going for its line of casuals or formal wear or a off-shoot for a mid to younger generation or a cheaper second-line featuring more Chinese themes, designs and motifs.

Rebranded Brands
Add more rebranded brands now featuring at our local shopping gallery. For one, Prologue and UrbanWrite (aka as Popular)

Unfair Advantages In Education? Or Is It Cheating?

I hope that my school has better sense in ensuring that earlier intakes of students who have sat for the exams or done the assignments do not pass on this sensitive information to the people they introduce to the school in later batches.

My school can do this by consistently revising the assignment and exam questions so that no two intakes' papers look the same. The situation is made worse when batches come back-to-back with just a couple of months separating them. Not a year or more.

It does seem like many of the students have family, relatives and friends in the school and ethnic community ties sometimes do rule. Money speaks even louder I suppose. What more pally-pally relations with the administrators or academia.

This would constitute unfair advantages tantamount to cheating and in education that would make it a total sham.

Why Is It So Hard To Get Through To You? Are You Hard Of Hearing?
I feel I must repeat this ONCE MORE, for the benefit of the hearing-impaired and the fucktards.
I have very clear concrete goals and I know what I want. What I need for them to materialise is MONEY.....

These goals include, but are not limited to, working within the education industry and preferably higher education. And working with a majority of Asian Chinese youths. Not like the class for the program of study I undertook.

So please, do not plant BLIMPS, BIMBS and WIMPS everywhere I go. And stop putting all those ethnic, third world foreigners, the intellectually-impaired or old fucktards in my face or near me. Stop harassing me! Like the phone call I got from an ethnic just a day or two ago. JUST FUCK OFF!

And these same ethnic hooligans have earned enough on their sales commission on me during my various retail purchases recently. Invariably they were the ones who always snuggle up to me, smelling a potential buyer.

But I assure you they will need loads more in return in the future because SOMETHING IS GONNA BEFALL them.

I will not be a spokesman for any of them.

I will NOT BE signing up for ANY political party, the incumbent or otherwise. I will not be made the POSTER BOY for the opposition camp like the two we have for parliamentarians.

Putting me here among them is just gonna breed lots of resentment and hostility. It is best we keep our distance and just work or play together when we need to.

SINGAPOREANS are NEVER worth speaking up for and they are NEVER worth fighting for.

Get this into your THICK HEADS, motherfuckers!

You Send Us Away After You Take Our Money - That Is Really Cool (Newest)

2009-09-05T14:34:00.027+08:00

Minty-Tasting Water - Is This Fluoride Or Is It Mint?
By the way, have you tasted the drinking water at the amenities centre of the MacRitchie Park?

It tastes minty, like toothpaste or the tap water I drank from at Guangzhou on my travel there once.

Which leads one to wonder if this is mint or is it fluoride? Does fluoride have a taste in the first place because we have all come to associate fluoride with mint. Or is it just me?

If it is fluoride, then the next question is if it is fluoridated too excessively, wouldn't that lead to dental or skeletal fluorosis?

Is Drinking Water Here Safe For Consumption?
At home, on several occasions, I had diarrhea for no apparent reason and I could only trace it to the boiled water I drank because it happened only immediately after I drank from it.

And I ate or drank nothing else that could precipitate this diarrheaic onset.

That leads me to ask another question if the drinking water supply at this old mansion I am living in is safe?

First Geylang, Then Selegie And Now Bukit Timah/MacKenzie Road
Have you ever turned up at Exit A (leading to the Bukit Timah/MacKenzie Road route) of the Little India MRT station on a Sunday evening at about 6pm?

The entire car-parking lot was mobilised by our darker-skinned foreign workers. I got off the exit this evening to make my way home and I was obstructed by the huge (this is an understatement considering that the entire open-air car parking lot was teeming and bursting at its seam) crowd that had gathered here.

When will it get worse?

When a fight breaks out? Or a fire alarm raised which can lead to a stampede perhaps? Some fire-safety issues and security concerns? Or the vehicles parked there get damaged?

It Is Like After Mother Has Cooked Dinner, She Sends Her Children Away To McDonald's For Their Evening Meal While Inviting The Neighbor's Children Home For Dinner
This is exactly how I feel.

My school starts a counselling program and we pay something like 5K in all for it. The next thing I know, employability remains a BIG ISSUE and they only recognise us on a case-by-case basis for the single major degree in psychology.

That honour of recognition goes to the Polytechnic diploma holders.

That means we have to go elsewhere for our degree program and we most likely have to do the double majors in psychology and marketing management with my school if we wanna pursue our higher education. On top of bridging modules they deem fit.

So the question is: why even start a counselling program when they are gonna selectively recognise it for the single major when most of us have to do the double majors? Isn't this like my headline above?

What's more, we have to pay a full 10K difference in course fees (that pinches on the pocket - OUCH - make that triple "OUCHes") and pursuing irrelevant modules like tourism and marketing. Plus a longer time to complete the program.

The modules may perhaps widen job prospects but who wanna pay 10K for them? If this isn't ridiculous, what is?

Who Plagiarises Who? You Or Me?
It is bad enough the program was dogged by all those issues I have blogged about.

What makes it worse, is that in an about face turn-around, while prohibiting plagiarism on the part of the students, the lecturers were plagiarising word-for-word from books in their study guides and power-point slides.

Books which in some cases were recommended reading texts for the program.

What is the BIG USE if both study guide and powerpoint slides contain ONE and the SAME material anyway?

It shows very little care and disregard for the program and my school has the benefit of 10 intakes so far. I am surprised they haven't cleaned up their act yet.

PsychoMetric Nothingness And Education Fraud
I paid 80 bucks for two psychometric tests after much hard-selling and touting in class by Henry and I was also curious. The tests turn out to be essentially a bundle of papers with some useless word sentencing without a contextual understanding.

When I flipped open the pages, I seethed with more anger at the kinda questions they were asking.

Mostly dichotomous ones that seek to find out what they sought to find in the first place. And the context of the questions asked was missing. For instance, "do children get on your nerves" depends whether we are handling our own one or few child/ren at home or a class or school of them in an education setting.

I didn't bother to submit my tests in the end. A pure waste of money and time. That kinda money could have bought me a nice branded Ralph Lauren Polo tee. And I would rather read a good book or go out shopping than attending classes, listening to nonsensities spouted from various "education" "gurus".

That would have been a more realistic education.

There Is A Stall Selling Whole Roasted Pigs At Ion Food Hall, Maybe You Should Visit And See Yourself There?
Some of the foreign worker pigs are getting lazier.

Take this young foreign punk at the MacRitchie Park. I am not sure what time he starts work but he will invariably come in to clean up the amenities centre only when kayakers and runners are around.

Even then the showers are never cleaned up properly and he dares glowers and kick the wash basin to express his displeasure. He expects us to keep the place clean for him when it is his JOB to and with the water trickling, the jet spray heads dismantled and flimsy toilet paper, it is small wonder the place is a mess.

But this is a PARK for heaven's sake! Mud, soil and grass in all. What was he expecting? Gemstones and crude oil?

Plus old uncles were carting pails to wash themselves and their other goodies and therefore hogging the shower facilities.

But he is young, healthy and strong (late teens or twenties?)! What is he paid to do anyway? Sit around and fuck spiders?

In fact given that the Park is such a HUGE place, it is surprising that all the foreign workers choose to congregate at this ONE and ONLY location to do their work.

THE BIGGEST SHOW ON EARTH!

Visit The Roasted Pig Stall At Ion FoodHall And See Yourself There, Pigs!
At Old Aunty's, I have just cleaned up the ceiling fan and the top of the wardrobe, tasks which needed a tall ladder and yes, they were coated with layered morphs of dustballs accumulated over the years of their lease-life. But the thick dusty drapes remain.

That shows further how mercenary but LAZY the foreign and local (whoever you are) pigs are.
And the common toilet just outside my bedroom is once again soiled with filth the moment the at first trioed and then coupled and finally single tenant had moved in.

The vagaries of human relations and sex for you.

And I know not to trust Old Aunty. I am just putting up with her and tolerating her lies. She will pretend not to know when she is in on it with the other tenants. In fact I have a feeling the new tenant is Ben's friend.

Just like Sabby. But in this case, I am still treating her as a friend and she will get her just desserts if she is conniving anything behind my back because when I passed the class once during breaktime for Henry's class, I could hear some of their peals of laughter.

They pretend to talk to me to gauge my opinion of the program and what I have to say about the lecturers which usually rates poorly.

I also do not trust the gays at the men's club because I have seen who is talking to who and who is connected to who. And one of them is linked to Raffy, the Filipino tenant here and another to Victor, Ben's agent and whatever.

That I am fully aware of.

My cusses rain on you and your loved ones. Be it debilitating or something else.

People Are People (Like Depeche Mode Martin Gore's Song Goes)
I asked to trade in my polo for a smaller size but I was told to "dryclean" it first as I was wearing it before the exchange. I was told this is personal hygiene.

What ridiculity when the piece I bought was a display one with GOD-KNOWS-HOW-MANY other sweaty, odorful and filthy customers have tried it on.

And mind you to dryclean it as if it is a business suit and when the shirt specifically forbids drycleaning.

This is like the new adult CEPAS GIRO-linked EZ link card being issued. It now extracts a 25 cents deduction with every automatic top-up. This has never happened before so what is the rationale for this NOW?

Or the towel woman at California Fitness still insisting that she wants the towel to be returned to the second-floor counter before 12pm even though it is soaking wet.

Imagine a soaking, dripping wet towel transported from the third storey to the second storey. Safety issues of the slippery surface kind. And it is soaking wet only because of the steam bathing and showering and of course the consequent wetting.

I guess people are just people and on the two former occasions, the service personnel bore the full brunt of my screams.

Once More, PigHeads, The UnHoly Trinity Is Out For Me
Once more pigs, the blimps, bimbs and wimps are on my "unwanted" list. I am having nothing to do with most of the girls or women in my class because I can perceive what the cultural differences are.

At best, we are friends. Like Sabby, my current best friend in class even though she is married with 3 girls, has a husband in the armed forces and owns a maid. And she is Sikh.

The class can connive whatever they want. If it is something evil, they get the retribution in return.

This Bears Repeating
I have to repeat myself once more I think. Only younger Asian Chinese/Koreans/Japs for that special beau. Selectively others (but I am mindful of cultural as well as lifestyle and habit differences) and maybe even younger white males. Keyword - younger and physically appealing.

My own abode and fast. And in appropriate places. No nosey neighbors. No older generation. No culturally different neighbors. My career choice within an education setting, preferably higher education sort.

Is this too hard to understand?

Remember, my curse remains true. Whatever you are doing now, it will go round and happen to you or the ones close to you. Just remember that.

The Bounty Is Plentiful And Cheap Too
The NEXT generation never had it so good. There is so much variety on the retail apparel and fashion scene these days and they don't cost a bomb.

Take for instance River Island, the British high-street fashion wear. It offers so many chic and genre casual footwear that go for under 100 bucks.

Kids can really deck themselves out fashionably and they don't have to bust their budget too. They have shops like the Japanese Uniqlo (which incidentally has Jil Sanders now heading its fashion design) or Cotton-On.

And the young people are cafeing and eating out at posh restaurants almost like an everyday affair. The pickings are good and some food are delicious. But you pay the price of course.

I really envy them. We never had such choices back in our days.

Luxury Brands Are Just Luxury Brands, Be They Be Made From Hemp, Cotton, Flax Or Acetate
So whatever it may be, we pay for the brand name and nothing else. That we are ALL fully aware of.

Plus it is made in the countries of origin, usually Italy or France and you can see the marked differences in the exquisite craftmanship in stitching and the very clean lines.

Luxury brands are particularly common among the girls and women in our midst who are in most cases showing off their travel-bags, usually a Louis Vuitton or Gucci, the BIG TWO rivals in the luxury market.

The distinguishing classic tartan design of the Burberry brand is fast appearing among the bag toting crowd here and on men's shirts, women's blouses and even jacket collars.

I guess we are a nation who relishes brandishing luxury goods for good measure.

Accolades For The Gifts Of "Nature" And Sports Plus Other Asides (New)

2009-08-05T17:22:00.022+08:00

The French, The Italians, The British, The Americans, The Swiss And Now The Spaniards
When a sports journalist wrote about the possibilty of the rise of a La Liga power in world soccer, it set me thinking about how the Spaniards are already a force to reckon with on the retail scene. After all Barcelona and Real Madrid are notables in the world soccer league.

Mango and Zara have long fronted many of our retail malls. Zara's Inditex Group, however, has gone many steps ahead, pulling in its other brand names like Pull And Bear, Massimo Dutti and now Bershka will soon grace Ion Orchard, the iconic retail mall on Singapore's swankiest and ritziest shopping belt.

To me it is just another exciting entree to a buffet of different countries' menus, just as the Major League Soccer is, in addition to the Premier League.

A New And Exciting Gateway To The Garden Of Eden
I am not raving for the sake of raving. I always give due credit when something truly deserves credit. Though criticiscms are all part and parcel of the improvement and change processes.

Like the completed Phase I revamp of what is termed the "Gateway" to MacRitchie Reservoir. Look what some ingenious planning can really do to our much revered and cherished impounding reservoir of old.

For one, taking away all that open-air public car parking lots and replacing them with a two-storey one just frees up more space for nature. The tree-lined returfed pathways. The wooden platforms and stage area. The hanging gardens from overhead. The sprouting ground-level water fountains. A new cafe. And above all new shower facilities.

Though I find the powerful straight line jet sprays of the indoor showerheads a tad irritating and hurtful (and the faucets had to be continously pumped for the sprays to keep squirting and there were no toiletries holders), I had an enjoyable time with the pull-ring al-fresco ones.

Water was warm enough for a pleasant shower on a hot day like the day I visited it. And it was the whole novel experience of it all. However, it can do with a few more silvered benches strewn around the four shower pads for bathers to place their personal belongings.

And yes, mirrors to line the wash-basins instead of just one big solitary full-length mirror located near the lockers.

Even the overhead pedestrian bridge bordering Lornie and Thomson Road is not spared. It looks set to rival the grey-steeled arches and waves of the few iconic linkways of the Southern Ridges Parks.

Well done PUB! I can't wait for Phase 2 to begin.

A Revamped Bishan Stadium
The track has been returfed. And yes, it is now a pristinely manicured lawn-grassed soccer pitch. No more messy grass cutting, trimming and watering.

Visibly missing are the exercise stations and the thick green blanket that used to shroud its perimeter. The spectator arena has been retrofitted with spanking new seats that are only segregated by their colors.

The floor and doors have been repainted with coats of grey and yellow respectively. The floor oustide has been retiled. The showers are now bright and airy with new light-colored wall and floor tiles, wall-mounted rotating fans and there are recessed areas for holding your personal toiletries plus new tiltable shower taps .

Question now is, will the Sports Hall or the gym get a similar make-over? And in time for the YOG too?

All the same, well-done SSC!

If You Are Truer Than True, Then Which Is The Truest?
Incidentally, this reminds me of some of the churches' names I have come across. Some claiming to be the "True Jesus Christ" Church with another claiming to be truer than true.

Like True Or False questions, I suppose if there is truism, there must also be falsity?

In fact when you study the timeline when Christianity began to split, starting with the Reformation of the 16th Century, your mind boggles with all its new offshoots like the charismatic movement for example and all the rest.

So at the end of the day, I just wanna ask which is the "Truest"? Is that too much to ask?

Another Popular Gay Myth And More SingleHood Mythology
The day people stop spreading and perpetrating myths about GLBTs in general and singles in particular and assigning gender/marital status roles thenceforth is the day the world will be a better, more egalitarian and equal society.

Even among my counsellor lecturers, like Richard for instance, the myth about a woman trapped in a man's body (and that is derogatorily referring to gays) is still popular.

The old world of an either-or dichotomy just does not seem to go away. You are either a man or you are transgendered. And transgendered means "transvestism and transsexualism".

There seems to be a huge chunk of the gay population who is neither but who loves and engages in sex with other similar men that somehow seems to elude the general population.

Unless we can address and redress this, don't expect the rest of us to be sitting tight and looking pretty without a riposte every now and then.

Nevertheless great strides have been made and there is a gradual move towards recognising a multicultural worldview. And that means taking up a continental, national, ethnic, socio-economic, gender and/or sexual orientation perspectives. Not just an all-male, white-dominated approach as it used to be.

I just hope the issue of singlehood is researched and looked into more often than it is now.

Writing Therapy Is Much Like Music Or Art Therapy (New)

2009-07-26T11:33:00.029+08:00

Personal Writing (Or Journalling Or Blogging) As Therapy And As A Truer-To-ThySelf Personal And Social Commentary Piece
I blog only because there are nagging issues I feel I wanna comment on , general observations I make which may or may not be true or some preoccupation that caught and piqued my interest like my recent blogs on "who is who" and "who is behind a brand name" on the retail scene.

It is amazing to discover that the "Fox" retail brand is Israeli. Amazing in itself because that is coming from a historically biblical, war-torn and war-ravaged country. It goes to show that the order of life, trade and commerce goes on despite chaos.

Then there is that whole mass of interesting but intricate partnerships, joint-ventures, buy-ins and buy-outs, mergers and acquisitions among our luxury brand BOYS which ultimately boils down to the BIG THREE Players. Like the BIG FOUR (or is it now down to 2 or 3?) of the banking or accounting world.

Finally, discovering the roots and beginnings of some of the retail brands are just mind-blowing. Hugo Boss dressed up the Nazi Officers while Dior dressed their wives and their French collaborators for World War 2. And Bata, a Czech-based company, started off as a military shoe supplier during World War 1.

In fact this is the kinda of life-skill education I find more relevant, more contemporary and more practicum-based.

Writing also appeals to me as some kinda therapy and because I do enjoy writing essays to a certain extent, perhaps dating back to my General Paper days of junior college life. Particularly subjects and topics that are of immediate existential concerns. Topics that I write on in my blogs.

In the absence of flesh and blood friends to share your thoughts and feelings, writing is the next best outlet for that expression. In any case, friends, family, colleagues and whoever else CANNOT be there 24/7 to share ALL your EXISTENTIAL experiences EVERY MOMENT OF THE DAY.

Writing can. It helps you make sense of your experiences for the day, what you learned, your reflection on issues, events and it helps you consolidate and work out your feelings and thoughts.

Besides you can't say anything so freely and openly in someone's face, can you? Writing provides that safe distance for saying what you REALLY wanna say though of course the spectre of a LIBEL suit is always there?

I rather be a critic because too many are already singing praises, at most times un-necessarily while overlooking the obvious faults and defects. Let them do the flattery while I put forth the constructive and legitimate criticisms.

For betterment and for change.

Money As An End And As A Means In Itself
Losing all that money wasn't painful because of the money for its own sake really.

It was painful because it meant the house, that higher education, that retirement money, that money for existential living RIGHT NOW and contingencies that come right along with it.

For me an abode is about space (do you wanna live in an old stuffy leaking dollhouse which costs the same price as a luxury Daimler AG?), quiet, peace, tranquility, modernity, cleanliness and privacy. No nosey parkers, no interfering, no snooping, no trespassing, no fish-bowl living, no rundown dilapidated and rebuilding works needed and the whole works.

Plus my old luggages were mildewy, mouldy and green with algae and it has been four years. And those silverfishes.

I am also of a certain age, not exactly in the best of health, tired , not so energetic and so on. In short, NUAH......

Alvin Is Right Of Course -Looks, Flawless Complexion And Youth
Looks and built matter. Youth , a smooth and flawless complexion. None of which I possess very fully or even at all. But at my age, I have a bit more confidence and reckon that as long as I keep fit and the facial scars and lines away, I can still live with myself.

Unfortunate as it sounds, they are the first few things that attract, in this age of beauty and wellness fuelled by the media and everyone else. Inner beauty takes longer to stir and may never even happen.

Alvin brought this unconscious of mine back to the conscious. For a very long time, I was actually afraid to look at myself in the mirror. Any mirror untill like more recently.

And I may unconsciously wanna rip my face off too when I ripped and shredded all those articles of personal belongings in a rage of self-destruction.

The Whole Gay Community Was Here ! At Ion Orchard's Soft Opening
They were here. Togged out handsomely and youthfully. A famous blogger (sexuality: unknown but hey love your new muscle dude and your longer hair and oh yeah, fairer than fair complexion and set of pearlie whites). My ex-tenant. His new or is it old boyfriend. Everyone.

The whole gliterrati? And illuminati? Or literati?

Luxury Brands Are Beyond The Mean Average Monthly Wages Of An Average Professional - Or At Least For A Month Or So
While I may have taken to gaping at luxury brands, their price tags of $2600 a piece for a ready-to-wear apparel and a couple of hundred of bucks for an accessory are certainly well beyond my means or the monthly average wages of an average professional.

Or at least he needs to wait several months before he can lay his hands on one. It is not like small ticket items of below a hundred bucks.

Get that right too people.

And I am gaping only because they are works of art. The fine fabrics and tailoring, the ummatched authentic skins and material. The exquisite, finely crafted design and stitches. The color. The works.

What I Meant Was This............
When I wrote about that single white male I spotted at "Love Of Siam"and that he seemed visibly distraught, I meant that he was perhaps overwhelmed by the direction of that moovie. Of an evolving relationship that finally lead to a heavy smooching.

He seemed like he couldn't handle that emotion, coming as I thought he did from a diet of the West's culture of fast and furious lust and sex. Meet, wham and BAM! Sex (to the nth degree) As we all are conditioned to at some point in our life by the media.

Of course I am just second-guessing and we all know it can BE WRONG.

And this event brings me to my next point.

Open Up, Be Open And We Can All Cavort In Open Gay Sex.....TADA!
There will be no question of extortion, emotional or financial blackmail, discrimination or behind-my-back gossip if everyone accepts everyone else for who they are.

Look, by now, everyone knows I am gay. They may not know me in person but I am sure there are others who do.

If it becomes a norm and nobody has any hangups, THEN who can kick up a BIG FUSS and make a big DEAL out of nothing? Nobody right?

In fact it becomes a good thing. We can all come out in the open. Hang out. Brazenly. Openly. Unabashedly AND CAVORT IN OPEN GAY SEX....

Tada!

You Know What, This Counselling Program Wasn't That Bad After All
I am into the last two modules of my program.

Despite having said what I said and all the emotionally distressing and frustrating moments that happened in my life (breakups and financial losses) and during the learning program (all the past and present crises I have to face up to), I finally came to ONE BIG CONCLUSION.

My counselling program DID help me survive it all. If not for it, telling me to focus on my glimmer of hope and yes, unfinished businesses, and dissipating or displacing anger in a safer way (is that why sometimes potentially lethal martial arts classes like tae-kwondo still hold court?) I really might have just ended my life.

Thank you Mr/M/s/Mrs/Miss/Dr Counselling Program!

General Comments About The Modules
While I still believe that being financially strapped and too emotionally laden like I am at this moment means I probably have no business counselling the poor (and they do need some financial handouts, no? ) and the equally if not more emotionally burdened, there are a couple of things I wanna highlight.

Ethics was a fiasco through no fault of Chris, really, because that is just the way things are. GC helped me through my crises by talking about it with a group while I had an interest in psychology so FP was interesting.

Despite everything, I find Chris' predisposition model flawless, the FACTS@Life, the Fear and Trigger models real but they needed some refinements and I couldn't apply the second half of the FACTS model and his "Trigger" model.

When I wrote the CM essay, I happened to identify more with the spiral model. CT imbibed me with all the ready facts and theories of counselling and I loved that and today, CI was the best. It helped mediate my current financial crisis.

While I enjoyed the sharing of experiences of the lecturers, their anecdotes and travelogues but because the award of the certificate hinges on passing the assignment and exams, this has to be negatively discounted. So exam tips, revision and concept checks were prized instead.

I look forward to the modules of CC and CS coming up next.

What I Meant By Intellectual Rigour.........
I suppose there are constraints.

But sometimes the seminars were just too much of a monologue. There were not very many chances of an exchange, of discussion or debate.

And can we be as open as we want with the class? What about supposedly taboo topics like "suicide" and "homosexuality" .Or will we risk penalising ourselves with the lecturers? For instance with their God-given-and-God-imbued values? Or their personal beliefs and value systems.

Everyone has them, even you and me.

When there were opportunities like during my FP module, I was facing my own set of personal problems and floored by them. So psycho-somatic, current and past physiological, emotional and psychological states play a part

This was what I thought was most lacking in the program apart from my earlier blogs about the language proficiency issues, some accented communication problems, the material in terms of its presentation of facts, the grammar, word usage and language construction.

Plus don't expect us to agree with everything. We have to agree to disagree on some points raised.

It will be a very sad day indeed if legitimate and constructive criticiscms are not taken in its own proper context or people cannot have that degree of freedom of expression or of speech or of writing.

And to be enunciating their views without fear of reprisal or penalty.

And The Assessment Modes.......
And exams are just exams and I don't really like them. Memory work, recalling, getting to the exam venue, the people in the exam hall and when you are down and out, you could be impaired?

Can't concentrate, memory lapses, you stutter, you have eating disorders, etc.

Maybe just assignments?

But I can't really be sure which option or if both is best.

It All Finally Happened......
What happened in the last few weeks meant that it all finally happened.

My world crumbled and my whole immune system broke down. I was down with cough, flu, fever, rashes, aches, pains, depression, drifting in and out between sleep disorders like insomnia and sleeping all the time and get this.....constipation......

To keep a tight lid on our anger is just overcontrolling and overdoing anger management......we have to let loose and let go at times except in a safer way.....

P$
Does this mean I can get my money back? Capital, stamp duty plus profit and interest? Isn't too much to ask, is it?

I promise I will be good from now on? Plea$e????

*$mile$* *Wink$* *$ob$ $ob$ $ob$* Whateva

The Soft Opening Of Ion Orchard (New)

2009-07-22T11:25:00.018+08:00

More "Good" Things, Coming From The Acts Of Men
Great!

When you are stressed, down and out, more BAD things hit you! All sorts of ailments strike you! I am a little kid all over again!

I have to visit the old doc for the third time yesterday. After two rounds of theophylline (and I suspect it is this drug that is causing the allergy in addition to stress-related factors) , I developed rashes that covered me from neck to toe.

It itched so I did scratch myself quite a bit but I told myself I have to stop

This morning, most had subsided. But my cough still persists and I am drowsy after taking the medication.

Thank you PEOPLE, for all the "good" things you have caused me throughout my life! All the grief, pain, sorrows and suffering from young till old

I dedicate this to my family, all my ex-employers, all my ex-colleagues and everyone else who has made my life as miserable as possible.

By the way, do you think employers and colleagues are interested in your problems? They have their own set of existential problems like profits, making more money and their own familial problems.

But at least I know from school to work, I have never given anyone any problems as far as I can. I just do my own work and concentrate on my studies. As I said, people have other ideas. Like He-Ape and She-Ape. They want you to play their corporate games for some reasons. FUCK YOU MOTHER CHEE BYES!

All I wanted was just to make some money for a better life for myself and if I am stable, I can try to help my family and maybe others!

If I were to die, it has to be in the comfort and relative peace of my own home. Not here, not anywhere else. I am not the world's luckiest person and have had enough. FUCK YOU, understand!

Oops. Did I just said that I was sick? Oo

Ion Orchard Has Opened
Quite a few luxury brand shops have yet to open!

But the whole place was already swarming with people what with 70% of the shops open.

Standing at a diminutive 660 000 square feet, much smaller than the 750 000 sqft surburban Jurong Point mall , Ion Orchard, however, offers that luxurious touch and imposing radiant architecture which befits its brand name and location on Singapore's premier shopping belt.

I love the NEW BRANDS all right - Korloff, Titanium, Metrox, BreadSociety, Food Opera and OkabAsia (fka Soo Kee, Gramophone, Metro? BreadTalk, Food Republic and NUM). Wait! That is rebranding, isn't it? Silly old me!! Muahahahahahaha....Burp! O....I m sick......

As usual, the LVMH group is strongly represented here and everywhere with the likes of Marc Jacobs, Tag Heuer, Sephora, Chaumet and Dior (incidentally this group is also part-owner) while Prada's daily-oriented, younger generation offshoot Miu Miu has opened its own boutique .

But of course, how could I forget the other Swiss-based conglomerate with Cartier, Piaget , Dunhill, Van Cleef & Arpels, Baume et Mercier already established here. What can I say? I am sick?

Roberto Cavalli is here, so too is Steve Madden. The other French conglomerate with Gucci heading its brand name and other stalwarts like YSL and Boucheron are visibly conspicuous too.

Giorgio Armani and D&G are set to open soon and yes both groups were embroiled in an Armani Feud just at the beginning of this year. Amazing that they are gonna be on the same floor and within reach of each other.

I can't wait for them to open! Won't you?

Roots
And yes following our national newspaper report which stated that Dsquared2 is an Italian label, much like Bally would be mistaken for an Italian rather than a Swiss root, I just wanna clarify that Dsquared2 is of Canadian origin.

Just as Diane Von Furstenberg is Belgium-born before becoming an American fashion designer or American Bebe of Iranian-descent. Even Pierre-Cardin is Italian-born before becoming a Parisian designer.

Of Forgettables And Unforgettables & Past Nemeses

2009-07-20T09:10:00.023+08:00

All I Need Now
A job that pays well enough to finance my higher education which is a ticket to my job ambitions and aspirations and my vocational calling.

My current investment that will soar to the point that I can buy back my own place or at least to fuel another reinvestment to see me reach this.

Friends and community can't do much for me. We can share good and bad times together, talk no end about it, spent time and money together on food, movies, pubs, clubs, shopping, whatever. But that is no help at all. You have money, you have friends.

And lastly a male beau to share my bunk and bed with me and to start a relationship for the long term.

Friends do not live in with you. That is just friendship to share the good times of jollying. Not to share the burden of a true relationship.

*Period*.

Other Job-Hunting Woes

That Monday was the deadline for my assignment. I had to rush for an interview for a stint of relief teaching but guess what, they say they will call me if they need me and somehow I don't fit the job.

They promised to look into why I wasn't called for relief teaching though I am on their database annually. Apparently that school, Yishun Secondary (and btw my CPF statement reflected that I was there somewhere around 17th June 2003) has to be the one to keep calling me back and no other school can.

Therefore Yishun has to terminate me from their list before the rest can call on me.

What if Yishun has no need for a relief teacher but other schools do? Does that not deny me my chances of teaching?

Such procedural bureaucracy. Somehow it looks more like a matter of the ground being inflexible and insensitive in interpreting the policies or rules.

Much like the mother who just wanted to wait for her daughter at the foyer but the servant insisted that she should take the H1N1 screening as well.

I wasted my 30 odd bucks cab-fare that day to rush down for the interview and back home again to complete my assignment before the deadline (I was floored by all that emotional depression and was seriously depressed and sleeping it off).

But still no job. On top of forgetting to exchange my pass back for my ID, I had to go back to the school again to do that. All that money wasted for nothing.

And an Indian classmate invited me for her wedding and I had to hand her a red packet.

Money out, no money in.

FUCK YOU!

Get This Right Too, "People"

Since there seems to be nothing on hand, I can only retreat to an escapist world of my own to take my mind off the stresses I am facing. Like retail therapy, movie therapy, long deep sleeps (floored as I am), engaging in my academic pursuits once again, admiring objects of art and aesthethics, physical exercises and so on.

I can't be facing people in crisis and emotional disturbances or in financial distress because I am no better off than they.

It will be too painful, too overwhelming and I can't help them very much at this moment.

And to make the circuit to talk about all my pains will just be too much of a labor, emotionally anguishing and distressing to be talking over and over again about all my personal crises.

Get this right too, "people"!

Why Did I Misinvest In The First Place?

The Agent Rep, The Location, The Unit In Question And The Sentiments Prevailing At That Time

I was swayed by the agent rep (an ex-flight attendant or was she just part-timing here) and that was the time of an overall euphoric investment mood before turning sombre in recent months. The unit in question was in a good location and the design was really good. Exclusive and not too many units.

The property in itself is a good investment certainly but timing was bad. By my calculation given HDB resale prices at that time, I still couldn't afford to buy one so I had to reinvest.

But the other day when I visited the site, one and a half years later, the building was still in its foundational foundation stage. In fact at the canal digging part. Didn't seem like stage 1 has passed and almost all work has stopped.

Did they run into financing or cash-flow problem and the TOP is 2013, 4 years from now....

The Living Environment

I was also holing up with the PUNK at that time and with all the nonsense he and his fiance were generating, they affected my judgement.

The Agent Rep Again

When sentiments turned bad, I asked my agent rep but she said it was ok to hold until the bubble burst and then she said there was a problem. FUCK YOU AGAIN!

The Law Firm

They were supposed to be on my side but the woman lawyer came across as someone who was combative and talking about personals.

She only warned of bankruptcy should I not be able to cough up the progress payment but she didn't warn about the forfeiure and repudiation.

There you have it folks! The community of "humans".

Why Did I Invest In This Counselling Program In The First Place?

It is not getting me anywhere with this qualification.

And to top it up to a degree program in psychology and when I requested for a single major Psychology program, they wanted bridging modules like Tourism (though this must be for the double majors in Marketing Management program).

There you have it again folks! A plethora of shit-trashes. I am pretty sure some of the better written essays are being circulated around for the lecturers' and students' benefits.

Like some of my classmates. The girls. All they want is to examine how other students in the class are writing their essays and they wanna copy.

And all the sales consultant want is sales! I will not recommend anyone for this program with the likes of Chris teaching the module and the quality control.

Intent As Chris Would Put It

What exacty is the class' agenda is another issue.

While the current lecturer Richard is fine, I thought too many attributions to God in the materials was just one too many.

And it does become theoretical and as usual I disagree with many issues raised.

Do they wanna know where my weaknesses lie so they wanna manipulate me like my agent rep? Make me their mouthpieces for some political or social cause? A poster boy for religosity or conversion? A black sheep coming back to the fold? Or they think they are God and wanna mete out some punishment for some of the things I blogged about?

Maybe of God? Of a gender? Of a certain minority community? Or a certain ethnic community?

I must just wait and see and thread carefully.

Hollywood's Unforgettable And Forgettable Films
Hollywood's mill of animation, action thriller and superheroes' genres of movies have always sizzled with thrills and spills.

Movies like "Ice Age", "Terminator" and "X-men". However its social drama and social comedy dramas may not always be my cuppa unless I am going for laughs. So I may just give movies like "Confessions of a Shopaholic" a miss because it is kinda frivolous although funny.

Unlike "BrokeBack Mountain"(Made in America by an Asian) or "Dive" (A Japanese production), which featured pretty faces and bods and walks on a finely thin plot , "Love Of Siam" (A South-East Asian make, specifically a Thai one) was superbly directed.

Thailand's Unforgettable "Love Of Siam"
Set in a typical South-East Asian home (the backdrop says it all) , it starts off with two young boys and their stirring relationship with one rescuing the other from the big bullies in their school. That is when Tong, the rescuer invites Mew, the bullied, to his home.

There are all kinds of love featured in this 2 and a half hour movie marathon. There is that love between Mew and his granny. The love among the quartet of family members made up of Tong, his sister Tang and their parents.

When Tang goes missing, the family disintegrates and moves away. Thus Mew and Tang are separated from each other.

The movie then moves along to another time-era when Mew, all grown-up, joins an all-boy band (the bond and concern among the members) while Tong has a love-interest in Donut. When they reunite, Mew's unrequited love for Tong is met for an instance by their heavy smooching in Tong's home backyard and witnessed by Tong's mom.

Mew's agent, June, is the perfect and exact substitute for Tang and she joins Tong's family to help his father ease out of his alcoholic and poor mental state following Tang's MIA.

There are crossed relationships. A crush on Mew by a neighborhood girl. Tong's ambivalent sexual attraction for Mew, Donut and Mew's neighbor.

Tong finally breaks up with Donut but he can only claim friendship with Mew.

It is a moving story that features love and relationships. None of those Hollywood's fast and furious sex. Deeply touching yet meaningful.

I could sense that the non-Asian audience I spotted was too distraught at the end of the movie. He was perhaps bowled over by this poignant movie-piece and maybe he was expecting homo-eroticism and sex which was visibly absent.

I am assuming here of course.

A ReUnion With Past Nemeses
There was supposed to be a reunion with my Secondary 1 & 2 classmates. Benjamin Lingam rang me up to tell me about this. He is someone I remember alternating between the good and the bad guy. That class of mine had caused me much grief and pain.

You will remember that Chinese class of gansta but this reunion isn't with them but with that mixed bag of people. People like the obnoxious couple of Trevor Grosse and Joseph Philips.

Jeffrey Edwards became an insurance agent later on in life, wanted to sell me insurance which I turned down and duly apologized for making my life difficult back in school. "Sorry no cure" my friend.

Merwin Wilfred, teased no end in class for being Mr BigHead, was also a victim. So was Sunil Menon. Tan Soon Chuan to a certain extent. Charlie Foo, one of the bullies, is now a regular in the armed forces. The rest are apparently doing well.

Richard Dragon, Elcana Jacobs, Ramalingam, Franco Carlos (this guy had to work at the Pizzas to earn pocket money), Melvin D'Rozario, Achak Bradley, Trevor D Silva, Justin Llyod Fernadez , Hector Gomez, the couple of Martin Tay and De Souza (can't remember his Christian name at this moment) all variously jived and ribbed me.

Teachers like JL and Brother Dennis were no help and added on to my woes. Not that the Principal Edmund James was doing his job well either. (Was he demoted for some reason like this?)

Was it because they didn't like Chinese as a race? Or maybe they noticed me in primary school acting in girly jigs on Maria Teo's orders so they thought I was sissy?

For a time, I also went bonkers like them. I must say I don't particularly like them all except maybe for Redzwan and Tracy Bracken.

In Secondary 3 & 4, Tan Yew Tong and Boon Leong (both Malaysians) were no better bullies than the rest. There was always this group of Toh Choon Peng, Koh Kwee Ngee, Andrew Seah and sometimes James Lee who monopolise the class headed by Mr Peter Tan.

Colin Sebastian sat next to me and he was also an opinion-leader at some time.

They were the vocal and articulate ones, coming as they were from influential and well-to-do family backgrounds.

Sigh, what am I gonna do when I meet them?

What Do I Make Of These?
I guess at home, it was also a case of sibling rivalry. My brother and sisters. Imagine your own flesh and blood who are jealous of you. And don't wanna see you excel in school or work.

In school it must be the same too. I was always topping my Secondary 1 & 2 classes. That is why I was picked on.

At work too. You work harder and are better-performing and the likes of She-Ape and Shrill-Voice are also jealous. Or Choo Li Hiang. Even your bosses, who fear you may strike out on your own one day or be promoted over and above them. Because you are more capable.

There you have it folks. This is the "community of humans and people" for you.

Once More With Hate, "People" (NEW)

2009-07-18T20:10:00.019+08:00

We Can't Attain Our Aspirations Because "People" Wanna Script Our Lives As They Think Fit
It isn't that life has no meaning or motivation.

It is just that we cannot attain our aspirations due to systemic reasons or other reasons. Other reasons like money for one. This is in fact a BIG ISSUE!

I don't need to attend a course on entrepreneurship. I already know business fundamentals. I only need the sales and business. So my personal business failed because it did not have sufficient sales to sustain it.

I had start-up failures because of the licensing requirements.

I Don;t Need To Know Business Fundamentals, I Need To Generate More Sales To Sustain The Business As A Going Concern
As I said as I was running my personal training business, I was very happy. I have no complaints though it was tough at times. I only need more sales to sustain me.

I have total control over the business.

Thank You For Your Help, The "Community Of Humans" That You Are!
They wanna see you dead, the "community of people". They wanna k-poh, find out how you are and what is going on in your life. They must see you down to your last penny, drawing your last breath and dying before they will render first aid (let us assume here).

Have they considered psychological pain and emotional depression? I ain't going on any medication that has side-effects. That means money and I rather engage in physical activities to rid myself of this ailment. Physical activities like running and gymming.

Chris (one of my lecturers as you will remember) thinks that emotional depression can be controlled like the trigger on a gun. You can turn it on and off just like that. It isn't that simple.

By the time they render help (assuming) it may be too late! And I don't live on handouts or other "human" vagaries and charitable kind acts. It is vagarious, that is why.

Today you are happy, I benefit, tomorrow when you are not, I m dead. What if your fortunes turn for the worse, I become a liability.

I wanna aim for self-sufficiency and live my life my own way.

FUCK YOU MOTHER CHEEBYES AND BASTARDS!

I Embrace Diversity Within Limits - If You Are A War-Mongul Or A God-Like Moraliser, I Stop Short

As for me, I accept all people for who they are. Rich or poor. Employed or un-employed. As long as we get along together.

I don't go asking about people's background or snooping around. Like shrill-voice-accident-in-my-face. She visits my house on the pretext of a CNY occasion to snoop on me and report to boss about my background.

Your lifestyle is yours. Mine is mine. I don't begrudge anyone's lifestyle as long as they don't interfere with mine. Unless these people start firing the first salvo, then I will retailiate.

Like He-Ape's wife. She starts moralising, then I point out to her her own son. Or Old Aunty. Then I point out her own son Ben as an example to her.

One EverGreen Corporate Philosophy
If there is one corporate philosophy I wanna impart, it will be this:

For everyone out there, just do your bit for your job and keep your BLOODY FUCKING mouth shut. If you can't say anything good, don't say it. Unless that fucking prick of an egoistic braggart deserves a dressing down and wake-up call once in a while.

Don't go opening your mouth, maligning others and causing them trouble. Make them lose their job and inflict other miseries upon them.

Don't second guess anyone or think they think you think they think the way you think. Or put words into their mouths. And other false attributions like you think that is the way they feel.

Everyone has problems and pains. Singles. Married couples. Whoever.

What About My Pains? Do I Go Round With A Sob Story (Usually Exaggerated) And Then Try To Extract Opportunities Or Endanger Others?
Think about me and my pains. I was an angry young man because of all that was happening at home and to myself. Sometimes I will let loose this anger on others but I have learnt to forget the past and move on.

I can feel my sisters' pains. My mute sisiter's pains. My seond sister's pains and her attempted suicide. My third sister's pains. My eldest brother's pains. My father and my mother's pains. Their pains were caused by the environment and within themselves.

But I don't go imposing on others and causing them trouble. Do I? I shut my mouth until they put me out here the last couple of years and this is my 4th year running. You get what you truly deserve for all the maligning and gossip you generated.

My old luggages are mildwey, mouldy and green with algae. There are silverfishes. My office attire wear lay crumpled and unused. What about that? After four years, and you think I am happy?

The true sufferers are the ones suffering in silence. The ones who grit their teeth despite all their emotional and physical pain and just wanna move on. They probably drop dead first from all their inner and physical anguish. The one who seemingly has no complaints but just go on.

This Is What The "Community's Help" Is All About
But people seem to have other ideas.

They wanna interfere and by senseless gossip, cause more trouble and pain. They just wanna find out more about you and your background. Sometimes they laugh at you. They misinform you at most times.

Can you even know where I am coming from? Do you even understand all my pains?

Unless you can offer concrete help, don't even meddle and mouth incendiaries and nonsense. Causing more rifts in relationships and fuel the flames of hatred, anger and injustice.

I have met them all. Old aunties at the neighborhood. Old uncles. Ethnic bitch whores at the community club when I was holed up at Psycho's. Gays. "Educators" (sometimes meaning pseudo-teachers). Everyone.

The power of the tongue especially a loose tongue. And I would add, of politics and malignment, as my current lecturer would put it. By far he is one of the better lecturers, unlike some of the others.

People Still Don't Get It?
To me, it is very simple. How much you pay for the job. I do my job well. And is this my vocational interest. With more pay, I have a better life and I can also help my family.

No point asking me if I am single or married. Do I contribute to the family kitty.

Being single, doesn't mean we don't have aspirations, need money to retire, to have money in cases of contingencies, own a place to call our own and live life to our best.

Axes To Grind, The Fiends
Despite my age, I still wanna fight for what I aspire for life.

I can't let the bitch whores and fucktards script my life for me. They can't get to where they want, so they probably want you to be like them. Wallow in depression, self-pity and other axes they have to grind. Jealousy. Their own disappointments and failures in life.

The Gods, Their God-Like People And Acts Of Gods Or Men?

Or to think they are Gods. Put on a public facade of charitable and good acts to cover the tracks of their past sins, trangressions and guilt. And reach even higher authority positions and screw more people up.

Calling themselves saints. Putting up pictures of saints whom they are named after.

I have witnessed God-like people who politick and bicker so much at work, their colleagues lose their jobs. Yes these are God-fearing and God-loving people. And where did they cause their poor colleagues to end up in? Retrenched and left with a broken marriage.

Or this retailer who in its heydays dedicated its premises "To God Be The Glory" but what happened now? It is delisting and its owner was sentenced for organ soliciting which is a violation under HOTA.

So some property developers are doing the same thing now. Will they go the same way? What will they say then? There is no GOD?

Natural disasters like a typhoon is most likely an act of God. But economic disasters are usually acts of Man. Man-made and created.

Projections or transference and I would add of my own, cover-thy-guilty-conscience, as we call them in psychology. Defensiveness is a coping mechanism

This Is All I Need
What I need is to get a degree (any kind of degree) to get me into an education training or counselling job within an education setting, education institutions or corporations-wise.

Unfortunately academic qualifications still count. Not attitude, not communication skills, not life or work life experiences.

As I said private education is expensive and fraught with many irrelevant compulsory bridging modules sometimes. For instance for a Psychology degree, they wanna throw in compulsory tourism and hospitality modules. And it costs a bomb.

I have to consider the time frame. And the bridging gaps to make sure I don't protract the time unnecessarily. More time delay, the more resources dwindle.

I Know Myself Best, I Decide For Me Myself, Not You
With that kinda degree, there are far and few teaching assignments unlike Business degrees.

Let me decide later if the job is suitable for me. That is my problem. You don't decide what I am suited for. I know myself best. Right?

I am more an "idea" person. An intellectual coupled with some practicsm. So education and training sits well with me. Research too. I have that intellectual curiousity that extends deep beyond the superficiality.

And yes, sometimes I have an uncanny insight into someone's psyche. The motivation, the conflicts. The emotions. And so on.

I Can't Be A Counsellor At The Moment For These People
I can't be counselling marriage problems since I am single and gay.

And I can't be counselling the poor because what they really need is money. Money woes. It is too painful for me to go through with them what I went through and I can't help them financially, being in the state I am in now.

Moreover the system cannot too. It is sometimes a systemic problem. A rule and regulation. A policy. A statute. A legislation, I can't seem to change that. How can I help my counsellees?

I have to be financially stable and well-off and rid of all my current emotional pains myself before I can even embark on this arduous task.

But I Can Do Something For These People
For education institutions, I can counsel students on academic and career problems. Individual inner-conflict problems and inter-relationship problems. Some familial problems. Motivational problems

For corporations: motivation, career and welfarism. Emotional, corporate and familial problems.

Otherwise I have no business in being a counsellor or trainer/educator.

I Want To Exact Sweet Revenge $$$$$$$$@%%#

2009-07-11T17:37:00.017+08:00

There Is Nothing To Really Live For And Moving On Is Gonna Be Hard
Besides being in a foul mood, I am also devastated at all that I have lost.

My counsellor (well, actually he isn't but his visit that day was timely) confided in me that his businessman father lost like tens of thousands at most in any financial venture.

And again come to think of it, like my close China friend who stood by me when I broke up with my ex-roomie, he proved to be a source of solace and confidance.

On the other hand, Alvin proved otherwise. Like my ex-roomie. Smiling and seeming happy at my misfortune. And saying a few stupid things. Much like Henry in class the last time. Imagine smiling and looking happy while doing grief , death and suicide counselling.

Here I am, an ordinary folk, an innocent by-stander, someone who was just trying to make a tidy sum to secure a future home, finance a higher education for a better-paying job and maybe fuel a personal business, lost 3-4 times a 6-digit sum.

Given my age, my education background and current health, I don't think I can make a come-back anymore.

I Can Only Pin My Hope Here But Can It Go As Far And Fast As I Want It To? (Ideally 1600 to 2 000x Return?)
These are my aspirations. I have always harbored them but didn't wanna get my hopes too high until there is enough hard cash and then I dream about it.

As I said, I am not young and I do get tired these days plagued with vision problems and body aches and since I moved out of my home, persistent cough and flu. No point earning the money or getting what you want when you will drop dead the next day.

I am just keeping myself in my room, moping.

All I want is a simple life : a place of my own, my beau, my job or personal business and enough retirement money. FUCK YOU!

Rain Cusses On You
I really wanna fuck all those billionaires, financial gurus and whoever else that make this happen. That include my real estate agent representative. Even if they had lost billions, they would still have millions left. Enough to see them through.

My real estate rep and her company must be delighting in being able to re-sell the property again and at no loss to them.

May she and her company and their descendants and whoever else involved in what I perceive to be a financial 'scam' to grab at innocent investors' monies, be cursed with some debilitating health concerns some time in their life.

The companies will go broke and they be buried in a mountain of debts.

And before you go build that next mega-place of worship, ask the God first. Did he/she wants it in the first place.

I am pretty sure my cusses work magic like they always have.

I Have Been Trying All These Years But I Am Just Not Wicked, Vindictive, Politically Savvy , Connivng And Shrewd Enough To Outmaneovure The Fiends, Fiends With Axes To Grind (Like Most Of The People I Have Met)
It is not that I have not tried my hands on everything I could before and after the episode.

As I said, I am just someone trying to eke out a living to make ends meet, buy back my own abode, finance a higher education, get a better-paying job and maybe start a personal business later in life. But not too long.

All that is gone. Especially that roof over my head.

I was an entrepreneur before knocking on doors. From schools to schools, from companies to companies, from government agency to government agency.

What did they do? Nothing except incendiaries or the occasional project which rarely happens. Or they kick you from pillar to post, mis-inform you, steal your ideas and implement them as their own. This is totally unforgivable.

Worse they try to extract money from you instead, leaving you even broker.

At work, a job is just a job. I just do my work and it seems that bosses and colleagues have other ideas. Political games, charades, psychodramatics, Hollywood acting skills, etc.

Fuck them!

I will never forget those fuckers! The employers I worked for, the bitch-whores, the gossiping, maligning colleagues, the unproductive but politicking colleagues, the psychopathic bosses, the mis-information, those fat, well-fed civil servants, THE BLOODY FUCKERS!

I resolve I will have my day of vengeance and extract my revenge on them all.

FUCK YOU MOTHER BASTARDS!

Fiends With Axes To Grind
That is the whole point.

I have been frugal and thrifty when I was young. I save and I invest. These have come in useful when I need money for one thing or the other.

It is only in the last three years that I had to sell off my home and before that my car, that I started buying some clothes here and there and so on.

I have also never known about saunas until this time. And I never hankered for them. Or massages because I had a massage chair at home (which does the job well and it can be daily, unlike humans).

A victim of all those politicking bitch-whores (marriage problems, jealousy, etc), old farts and wimps. Gossip-mongering, maligning and so on. FUCK YOU!

So I played with hard cash, not loans. Who wanna be caught with a bad loan? And be made bankrupt!

Your Destiny Is Also Mine
Like the little CPF money of mine pledged to the Children's Cancer Foundation, the little kiddos' fortunes will be tied to my personal fortunes.

If even just ONLY one of the terminally ill leaukimic kid can survive and go on to thrive in the midst of all the nay-sayers, so will I.

$ob $ob $ob

It Finally All Happened (Updated)

2009-07-09T10:04:00.011+08:00

She Is Tall, Really Really Tall
Let me correct myself.

That installation art of this tall woman in highcut boots clutching a handbag at OC is only 4 storey high by OC's loft-like floor by floor level standard.

I actually caught sight of her smiling face peering into the lounge area on this floor.

But going by HDB's storey-level, she could easily be between 8 to 10 storeys tall.

Competition And Woes In Jobs-Finding
On Sunday when I went for an interview, I already had a very bad feeling.

Like the last time when I applied for a variety of jobs (even simple librarying work), I was passed over because of younger, cheaper and more educated applicants. Don't forget all the foreign pass-holders competing here. Besides candidature numbers totalling in the range of between 15-85 for one measly, lousy job at all strata level of education requirements.

I just froze and gave up after many futile attempts. You would be hopeless too after so long applying and applying. On top of all my woes, I also had problem uploading my CV via the server because of some format glitch. This was also the same thing that happened to me the last time.

Get That Right, Poker Ass
The employer-to-be is a Chinese national. Among sensitive questions he asked me was if I am married (apparently to find out if I am equal to the job because of the intensity of the job scope and singlehood seems to confer that ability) and later insinuated that there are many opportunities for marriage because of the many "super" hot Chinese chicks working there.

So I promptly told him off that if I am ever there, it is because I enjoy teaching and interacting with young people and primarily for the salary.

In any case at $1100 for a 5-day week (to him it is not 44-hours week so it is considered part-time), it is not going to help finance my futue HDB home (and yes resale prices have shot up again even for a 2-room flat which equals a 3-room price anyway) or my higher education and aspirations.

Deteriorating Health
If everything else isn't bad enough, I coughed and had aches and pains and flu, body and head aches. Even after finishing three bottles of Robitussin, the cough did not subside.

I had no choice but to see the doc. It was an old doc. He prescibed theophylline (my research shows that this isn't popular anymore) and dexamethasone (anti-inflammatory) and yes my cough got better but is this safe? He had diagnosed me with asthmatic bronchitis associating it with childhood asthma.

All Hell Broke Loose
By Monday when news finally broke of what I had lost on my property investment (and I am not giving a figure) I was ANGRY and frustrated.

My first reaction was to vent it on my laptop. I smashed it so hard (and boy do I really regret this because the laptop is the one thing I really need in life for all sorta information and transactions (despite software. hardware and Internet connection problems) it went blank.

It could have been my head or I could have thrown myself out the window but the car-parking lot below would probably break my fall and make me an invalid. If I wanna die, I must make sure I die instantly and in one broken piece. I am glad I restrained myself.

In a rage of self-destruction, I tore up all my clothes and belongings and dumped them so that I could squeeze everything in one suitcase. The next thing I could think of was to leave the country and try to find a second life but if it didn't offer me that chance, I was gonna kill myself so my body would never be found. So I bought an air-ticket for my intended destination.

I was reckless and bought things I would have thought twice. If I was going to die, all that money left isn't gonna be any good in the after-life.

I am gladder I thought better of living and dying in a foreign land. Because of its First World developed status destination, and without a proper job on top of a language barrier, the living expenses is gonna eat into all that I have left.

I also liquidated my bank assets and whatever I may have and closed the accounts. Plus I renominated for my CPF monies. And whatever last mail I may have.

Anger Management Is OverDone - You Have To Let Loose Sometimes But Displacing It In A Safer Way
Imagine the hassle of replacing my laptop (and in that stupor I bought yet another OS when I had an existing one) and asking for a refund for my air-ticket (a 3-6 month wait). And re-activating my bank account.

I also threw away items that I would need to buy again for my immediate use.

Even a rational thinking person could be overwhelmed by all the traumatic events that happened, one after the other and I just lost control of myself.

I skipped class that day and after being emotionally drained and exhausted, I slept over it for the night.

Glimmer Of Hope And Finding New Options
In a moment of liquidating my assets, I actually stumbled upon generating some extra money for myself. This was the UPSIDE to all that had happened.

And then it struck me that I still had a glimmer of hope in this. The only hope I have and I will hold fast and dear to it. The only chance of a comeback. My higher education, my career and my own abode.

I began exploring options and I still am even though there are many doors kept shut in my face.

For one, the WDA's worker-based funding for education is off-limits. So too is the CPF education scheme. All those restrictions. I will just have to see what else there is which I know is probably zilch.

The route to a private education advancement is fraught with extra unnecessary bridging modules because of some entry criteria, a very long protracted time and most importantly VERY VERY EXPENSIVE.

Community And Friends Are No Help At All
The community is no help. As I mentioned, everyone is living in his own world. In a tight circle of the same industry. They are mis-informed and don't know what is really happening.

Like talking to Sab, my classmate. She still thinks that WDA will fund our diploma and degree programs. Nor is she in tune with other industries as she only moves within her own building contracting circle.

Or even that fat gal classmate of mine. She asked if I had mouth ulcers and a sore throat, how is that gonna prevent me from working? What if you are a trainer or educator who has to talk most of the time.

Or Alvin, a young 20 year old polytechnic student. He is a green-horn, wet behind the ears. And like some of his polytechnic friends, he was channelled into a program which was his last few choices and thus a vocation he has no interest in.

Or Old Aunty. She is old and only moves within her coffee-shop business circle.

In fact, they add on to your woes by giving all the wrong information and probably thinking that you are lazy and a loafer. So don't even open your mouth and judge.

They are no support at all

Too Many Unfinished Businesses
There is the course I have to finish. The classes to attend and I attended mine yesterday night. My braces. My CWO (fuck you) . And so on.

I can only hope.

$ob $ob $ob $ob? And more $obs? ($$$$$$$$$$$$$2 500 000 x is all I need?)

Of Luxury And Luxury (New)

2009-07-04T00:31:00.005+08:00

Ice Age 3: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs
Hollywood's mill of animation movies has never failed to amaze me.

Time and again, they have consistently come up with plots, stories and ideas that are fresh and portray different animal caricatures past and present and their traits in comical yet realistic ways. Where do they ever get those ideas from?

While the two extinct woolly mammoths are expecting their baby girl, Sabre-tooth tiger begins to ponder his aging singlehood while Sid, the Sloth, decides to mother and nurse three baby T-Rex dinos. In the meantime, Scrat is up to his usual antics with his favourite nut and it seems this matters more than a compatible female paramour as a side-distraction.

The consequences of Sid bringing up carnivorous baby T-Rexes are understandable. Sid may want them to be herbivores but mama T-Rex knows what is best for her brood. She may be ferocious, yet she shows her softer side in protecting and saving Sid from harm later on from an even bigger dino danger, Rudy.

Once the baby T-Rexes joins the community, the other baby animals have a rough time. The kid T-Rexes play hardball and even eat them up and spit them out again. The kid animals prove to be easy pushovers.

I could identify with Sid, the Sloth when he had to hang on while he treads his way through a minefield of floating boulders laced in hot boiling molten lava and his last words..."This is the end of Sid...." as he thought he would plunge to his death down the volcanic Nigara Falls.

The animals' journey through a dungeon filled with laughing gas was of course exaggerated but nevertheless hilarious. The aerial fights between the flying dinos and the heroes were almost like the futuristic Star-Wars Galactica saga except that this is in prehistoric times.

Nobody should miss out on this movie, if not for the plot, funny lines and antics, then for the 3D visuals.

What else can I say? $ob, $ob, $ob?

The Singapore Sling And As I Have Mentioned Before, It Would Be Convenient If All Luxury Brands' Full Collection Are Housed Under One Roof
Well ok, so Armani Casa, Armani's home collection, is available here in Singapore.

At Raffles Hotel where the Singapore Sling is concocted and sold at the Long Bar. The Singapore Sling is even available at supermarkets and I have tried out the cocktail in its distinctive fire-engine red bottle. It tastes FANTASTIC.

Ok ok, I digressed. I haven't visited the Armani Casa shop yet but as I did mention, it would be nice to house it all under one roof but then again of course there could be constraints?

But my fingers are still crossed for those other brandnames to make their way here.

Homosexuality Is No Longer A Mental Illness And Now The World's Largest Democracy Has Legalised It
Guess what?

The world's biggest democracy and the second most populous country has declared gay sex legal.

This is perhaps a timely move for other democracies like ours to follow?

Anticipation (New)

2009-07-01T15:30:00.019+08:00

One Scare Tactics Too Many?
There have always been posters at our public loos detailing hand-washing rituals for users to follow so that no germs are left alive for transmission on our hands.

You could almost laugh at what the various steps in those posters teaches you, from rubbing to scrubbing every nook and cranny imaginable of your pair of hands.

Today, the scare campaign, like the packing on our cigarettes' boxes, have gone a few steps further. It features one hand filled with gooey, sick-looking and ghastly microbes, magnified by their ugly teeth and tongues, to drive home the point that 30 seconds is all it takes for us to rid our hands of them.

If it is attention and publicity that the HPB wants, they got them all right. Nobody would miss a poster like that displayed so prominently and strategically

Moreover, 30 seconds or not, with the soap on our hands and a trickle of water at some of the public wash-rooms, it isn't an easy task to wash off the bubblly foam. Thus a 30-second time-limit is really subjective.

Maybe we are overdoing it by that puke-provoking poster (PPP) and does this ritual actually encourage Obsessive Comppulsion Disorder in the long run?

I hope our authorities have seriously considered the demerits of an ad-campaign like this which could lead to an obsession with overt cleanliness, sterilisation and hand-washing akin to a surgical hand-scrub prior to an operation.

Finally could resources like this be deployed more productively.

Biblical History Recurring Again

There is this tee sold by a popular HongKong-based retailer here which bears the slogan : "Ordinary men crave fabric clothes while Gods or God-like people crave golden garb".

Telling in the light of mega and gold places of worship we have all come to know. Maybe it is the mortals not the Gods who want this.

Fashionista
I am aware that dollars and cents probably figure in luxury brands finally deciding to establish their brandnames here.

But what if they make Singapore their flagship of SEA or even Asia, maybe even making it unavailable anywhere else on this continent. That helps I am sure.

Therefore, I am crossing my fingers for other luxury brands like Tom Ford, Craig Robinson, Derek Lam (all of the USA), Adolfo Dominguez (Spain), Escada, Jette Joop (Germany), Raf Simmons (Belgium), Nina Ricci, Claude Montana (France), Missoni, Franco Moschino (Italy) Alexander McQueen (UK), Hanae Mori, Junya Watanabe (Japan) , Ritu Kumar and Ritu Beri (India) to make their way here.

The AYG And UpComing YOG
The AYG has begun and will end next week. The YOG, on the other hand, is slated for next year, 2010.

The Jurong West Sports facilities opened like more than a year and a half ago.

Already it is unbelievably filthy and dirty marked with stained floor, broken shower heads and paintworks. A broken mirror even grace one of the stadium's upper level arena's washroom.

I wonder if before the YOG that repair and remedial works will be carried out ?

The GreyHound Bus Way From LAX To SF Across A Couple Of Other Cities
While talking with someone the other time, I just remembered that the bus journey via the Greyhound Bus from LAX to San Francisco took me through various cities like Fresno, Bakersfield, Modesto and Oakland plus a couple more which I can't really recall.

That was when I blogged about being hopping excited when the Golden Gate Bridge came into sight over the San Francisco Bay.

And yes while doing a little research to re-confirm my itinerary travelled, the Greyhound terminal at SF was indeed something called the Mission TransBay Station. It was a two storey old structure as I remember it.

I also remembered waking up super early in the day like 4am or earlier just to catch the special shuttle from LAX airport (and I was like the only one there that morning in the dark cold night) to the Greyhound Terminal at LAX.

And yes at the Fisherman's Wharf, SF, I could look out over the Bay to Alcatraz Island.

LAX and SF are truly cities with wonderfully mild and temperate weather and they are beautiful cities.

The research jolted my memory and here I am blogging about some of my States travel.

A Complete Suite Of Luxury Brands All Housed Under One Roof

2009-06-30T00:06:00.004+08:00

All I Can Do Is Gape At Luxury Goods And Their Astronomical Prices
More recently, I have taken to gaping at high-end branded goods at luxury stores.

The range of brands and products bedazzle. There are so many beautiful works of art and masterpieces, it is hard to pick. The prices are way out of reach and poor me will never be able to afford one. Even if the GSSS (Great Singapore Super Sale) is on.

It will be nice to own a few sets of formal and informal luxury attire complete with matching accessories.

Are We Missing Something Here?
However the way I see it, the luxury brands offered here do not carry their full collection.

Take for instance, Armani and Fendi. Both are Italian brands.

We see the likes of Armani Jeans and Armani Exchange (the lower-end collection for younger customers and urbanites) being sold here but not Emporio Armani (the higher-end Armani line catering to young adults) or Giorgio Armani (the 2nd most expensive Armani line of collection)

At best they are limitedly available here and we only see Emporio Armani's eyewear and timepieces sold here .

Armani Casa, Armani's home collection is also not available here. Don't forget that Armani also invests in fine dining within their stores plus bookstores and flower shops and we can picture how much we are missing out on the entire Armani fraternity.

With the Fendi brand, we don't see the Men's collection and Fendi Casa is at the other end of Orchard Road near Tanglin while of course the French Chloe was always only a woman's brand.

The New Or Revamped Luxury Stores Holds Out Hope
But there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon . I thought I glimpsed Emporio Armani coming our way soon when the new Mandarin Gallery opens. The billboards even feature young blondes togged out in its apparels.

I am even surer that Ion Orchard will change all that as I begin to see Louis Vuitton and Dolce and Gabbana along with other luxury brands fronting its grand entrance.

This Is Fast Considering The Time Span Between Announcement And Action
When it was announced that there will be an overhead bridge linking Iluma and Bugis Junction, I was telling myself that I didn't see anything going up in that area.

It will be a great relief as that narrow traffic island sure gets squeezy when the crowd swells even though there is a crossing junction just down the road.

Today, the whole bridge is up and this must have been done in record time too.

Bare Bosom Versus Bare Pelvis - Is One Any Better Than The Other?

2009-06-29T10:14:00.007+08:00

Frolicking Gymnasts' Bare Antics Derided While Cleavaging Or Almost Bare Bosommed Femme Fatales Are Let Loose
A writer to the Forum pages derided the loose-fitting knee length trunks that exposed the pelvic bone and pubic area below the waistline of our local gymnasts while they were frolicking about their acrobatic stunts.

I have personally witnessed women in bikinis removing their bra straps and basking at our public swim pools. What about cleavaging femme fatales frolicking at our public spaces like our shopping malls and public schools?

As I have pointed out, which are private parts that need covering up are well-known and unless equality of the gender is respected, I think it is gonna be a free-for-all.

Republic Polytechnic's Mantra Of "Every Student Is A Customer" Decried But We Are Really Missing The Crux Of The Issue Here
It is true a student is not "always right" but then again neither is the teacher.

The writers who decried RP's mantra could be empathised but the whole crux of the issue is missing here.

Education has nothing to do with attire or appearance. I do not see how students feeling comfortable and possibly allowed to snack or eat will detract them from their concentration in class.

I am doubtful discipline in that arena is key. Certainly discipline in self-reading, motivation, behavior, attitude, handing in assignments and attending classes are.

That is only education rigor coming from the students. There is that other part that hails from the guru.

The rigor I wanna see is the intellectual exchange part. The knowledge both old and new part that truly fits reality. The debate and the questions. The critical analyses and thinking part. The language proficiency. The content material.

The teaching methodology and delivery that link knowledge concepts to everyday practicum so students are knowledgeably illuminated.

No more cliches. No more standardised answers that fit every unique individual and circumstances. No more generalisations and gender-stereotyping.

That will be true education.

Ever-Changing Shopping LandScape From The Art Installation To The Cars On The Road
Everytime I walk into OC, it promises some new art installations in the making only because it hasn't completely open yet.

Just yesterday, it featured these black mannequins togged out in the latest gears and fashion cunm electronic accessories illuminated by neonic blue tubes hung on a grid mesh.

Then there is this gigantic steel woman standing on high-heels and clutching a handbag. She is at least five storeys tall.

Just like the few Ferrari (or are they Maserati) sports cars that zoomed past OC along Orchard Road, they were sights to behold that take your breath away if only for a moment.

I can only expect more when Scotts Square (incidentally when is this opening and will it have a shopping mall or art gallery ?), 313@Somerset, Grand Park, Mandarin Gallery and Heeren opens or re-opens.

A Slow Coach To A Schizophrenic "Suku" (Mad) Island Filled With Tortoises (New)

2009-06-27T18:46:00.010+08:00

An Unsearchable And Mysterious Renoma Brand
Try googling "Renoma" and it draws a complete blank.

Other than sites advertising sales of its bags and underwear, there isn't a farthing information about the company, its history or an official website.

Other brands like Skinxwear, Diesel, BUM. 2(x)ist and C-In2 are readily found but not Renoma. So what the hell is it?

Sexual Minorities Have The Same Rights As Ethnic Minorities And A Comprehensive Sex And Sexuality Education Will Acknowledge Just That
In the light of the recent AWARE saga, I only wanna highlight a few salient points.

One, there is nothing wrong with providing a comprehensive sex and sexuality education program. It is not about promoting homosexuality but about education and acknowledging homosexuality.

After all just like ethnic minorities, sexual minorities must be accorded the same rights to be heard and understood.

That is all we are asking for - to be heard, understood, acknowledged and accepted. We are no different from anyone except for our different sexual tastes and preferences.

Orchard Central's Other Attraction
Of course. You always hear it from me first.

If you didn't already read about it from the press, Orchard Central boasts of a brand new, world's tallest indoor vertical rock climbing wall which has iron rungs known as the Ferrata (Italian for "iron road").

You can also do the normal climb but purportedly the iron rung way is more difficult.

By the way, after doing a little research of my own, I found out that the world's highest natural ferrata and Asia's first is located on Mt Kinabalu or what is nick-named Mt Torq, which is none other than our East Malaysian Sabahan neighbor.

What OC has for adventure climbing reminds me of the Kallang Leisure Park where you can bowl or ice skate. This kinda shopping mall concept is also endemic to Kuala Lumpur and BangKok.

If you have visited Times Square in KL, you will remember it for its roller-coaster ride of a theme park set within a mall.

Thus it is nothing new, just that we are much slower, that is all. Like having a light-up train itinerary on our subways or a foreign university campus on local shores.

Even our malls' lighting up like the OC and the Ion Orchard are nothing new when compared to Japan, Taiwan and HongKong who with their combined late night neonic flashes probably beat us hands down.

Is Singapore Fast Becoming A Schizophrenic Nation With Multiple Split Nationalities?
When I peeked into a Fitness First branch at The Cathay, I couldn't help noticing how it was largely staffed by Filipinos.

The same thing recently happened at California Fitness too. They congregate and chat among themselves and in loud tones at that.

At Jurong Point, the new wing has opened but the foreign workers are still here. Within the mall and milling outside its periphery, sitting, eating, drinking and chatting or just hanging out in big groups.

An entourage of SMRT staff consisting of China nationals and only one Indian national filed past me in the mall.

So when will the national sovereignty of the people ever see the light of day?

Bric-A-Brac (Latest)

2009-06-26T15:44:00.014+08:00

Where Have All The People Gone?
As I sit in class these days, I begin to notice the dwindling number of students.

Some have consistently skipped classes and only turn up on exam day while others are just erratic in their attendance for whatever reasons. There are a couple of them who may have deferred or who are exempted while others have dropped out altogether for reasons best known to themselves.

Among them are two people I know. One has dropped out and his "close" friends have apparently not cared enough to call him to find out what happened. I have taken it upon myself to find out.

Another I have not seen ever since Henry, the lecturer, picked on him and asked to utter the words "I wanna die". I am trying to get to this person as we were chatting happily one minute and the next thing I know, he has completely vanished into thin air.

Seriously I am amazed at the callousness of some of the personalisation the lecturers can engage in and their "close" friends who don't really seem to care.

Fair-Trade's Hall Mark Of Fair Trade
It started with a jar of lemon curd I bought from Marks And Spencer.

It bore a label with the "Fairtrade" mark that purports to give Third World producers a fairer deal so that they will have a better standard of living, acknowledging the sugar ingredient it uses is from such a country.

More recently I have been noticing a whole range of products from coffee to tea bearing this "Fairtrade" mark with diverse countries like Kenya and Ethiopia of Africa, Sri Lanka, India, Colombia and Brazil of Central/South America and Aceh, Indonesia of South East Asia.

This is a good start and I am sure it will extend to other tangible and intangible products in the future.

Men No Wear Flowery And Colorful Clothes? Desigual And Spanish Men Must Be In Big Trouble Then
If men are typecast as humans who cannot don flowery and colorfully designed attire, then Spanish men are in deep trouble.

More specifically, Desigual, the Barcelona-based Spanish fashion design store would have to close shop and Spanish men would be looked upon as sissies.

At least that is the impression I got when a female Malay classmate enquired about my yellow colored two-toned tee and the flowery Hawaiian long-sleeved shirt I wore very recently. She was kinda taken aback, I guess, from this flamboyant display.

Truth is, my few working shirts have laid crumpled and creased for years in my luggage, waiting to be worn and see the light of day but my unsuccessful school interview recently has absolutely crushed this wishful hope.

So I bought a steam iron recently (and it seems they all now come with "steam" function) to iron out the creases and treat them as casual wear instead, coupled with jeans of course.

Sexually-Charged And Connotated Conversations
"Cut, wash and blow" - what a male hairdresser would say to a gay client.

"This iron got steam" - what a male sales assistant said to me.

"This display set has been touched, fingered and mauled so many times, if I were to buy it, I want a discount" what I said to a young handsome sales assistant, alluding to sex workers or the like.

Allusory Movies
If you had watched "Transformers - Revenge Of The Fallen", the backdrop of the story and the plot look a lot like the war in Iraq.

The desert, the desert palm trees, the storm troopers and the allusion to getting at the energy source (more precisely "The Matrix") underneath the pyramid all seem to point that way.

"Terminator Salvation" is a remake of the Terminator series minus Arnie who makes a very brief appearance towards the end the film.

It was action-packed and promised no end of thrills and spills as the cyborgs go about their mission to terminate humans.

A mission perhaps, that is all too appropriate?

More Than One Display Pattern, More Color Changes
OC has more than one display pattern.

So you will excuse me if I wrote about the changing colors of one such pattern the last time and not taking into account the hues of the other display pattern.

In fact I like the new display I saw. It had more hues and vibrancy to it.

Help! Help! Help! Any Fit Young Handsome White Knights Decked Out In Branded Fashion Togs And Riding On A Pure White BMW To The Rescue?
Even as I prepare for any eventuality, I am ensuring I look my best and do most of the things I wanna do. Too bad trips to Europe and Egypt cannot be fulfilled.

From my hair, to my facial skin to my finger nails to my clothes and accesories and the food I eat, I am not letting up on trying things I have not tried before.

Not that I really wanna die, but hey does poor me have a choice? I can only pray for a miracle. And that does not include going back to past employers, turning to the UnHoly Alliance Of The Trio or signing up with any political party. It has got to be a pure and simple case of unconditional help with no strings attached.

I only hope I live long enough to see the opening of some of our newest attractions like the shopping malls, the casino resorts and so on.

Please someone, help! I really dont wanna die!

Sob, sob, sob, sob, sob ($$$$$1 000 000x).

Essential And Non-Essential Services

2009-06-24T09:30:00.003+08:00

In these times of economic depression, radical measures may be needed.

We have to examine what are essential and non-essential services. I count those environment officers nabbing litterbugs as being non-essential. Where in the world does the state employ 2000 odd such "people" for catching others who litter.

To be better deployed, they should be retrained as cleaners instead. That way, it engages them more productively.

Schools should be shut and students can learn from home. There are always books available and online resources.

From my experience for the learning program I enrolled in, I was actually looking up to the lecturers for that extra "spark" but this was so wanting.

I found a better substitute in reading and surfing the web for learning resources. Especially good books written by practitioners and authoritative sources.

What about security personnel save those who have to ensure the safe accompaniment of huge hoards of cash? And others in the armed forces? Can they be rotated and more effectively employed on a tighter and smaller workforce?

Every nook and cranny should not be overlooked as we trim down costs for non-essential services and redeploy resources for other essential projects like infrastructure and tourism.

Fuck Your Mother Chao Chee Byes

2009-06-23T10:10:00.003+08:00

Yet again, they have closed another door in my face.

And a very critical one. Especially at this time when I need a job badly. A job I am comfortable and familiar with, has a reasonable vocational interest in and it pays quite well.

Plagued by on-off back pains and a less than sharp vision (and it seems like my knees are giving me trouble too these days), I am not gonna veer into other jobs save teaching and counselling within an education setting.

With the looming prospect of losing all my money plus a roof over my head (and a place to call my own), there is seriously nothing left for me to do.

They are seriously pushing me into a tight corner, leaving me with no options but death.

It is like at the job interview facing a panel of 3 distinguished female "educators", a panel who must be living well under the auspices of the civil service and who knows a farthing about the world outside except their own.

One posed me a question why I didn't opt for relief-teaching. Woman, my data is on their registration system and I renew it yearly. But I haven't got a single farthing call so far save one year eons ago.

Fuck you, chao chee byes!

Here, There, Everywhere (New)

2009-06-15T03:13:00.006+08:00

Oo I Didn't Really Get Some Things Right, Did I?
My sincere apologies. The Iluma is spelt with a single not double "l" and yes, its facade facing Bugis Junction didn't have its name on it so it would remain a nameless, mysterious, colorful block to many only because its name is signposted at the rear instead. Facing out to oblivion.

And yes again, I forgot one more radiant color to the few I mentioned which Orchard Central emitted in the night. Purple, what else. I found this out when I stood longer at my bedroom window to savour the full display of its spectrum of colors.

Of course Mos isn't the only burger chain serving rice burgers these days. There are Japanese food chains that do and they all look uncanningly alike from the toddler-size portion, the basket they are served in and the styrofoam wrap lined with lettuce.

Sincere apologies once more.

I Love NUM's Newly Designed Colorful PaperBag Carriers
NUM had indeed come a long way as one of its staff reminded me recently.

Its carriers first started off as a piece of brown recycled paper bag with its name insigniaed on its side. This has now become almost like vintage wine of course.

Then it turned into a half blue half green colored pixelled bag with its evergreen logo of the spermatozoan.

Today that carrier has progressed to different full solid colors still embossed with the characteristic spermatozoan logo and the quality of the paper has improved tremendously.

It has become a collectible and is available for purchase at a price.

Oo What The Hell............
The exam results are out for Chris' module on Conflict Management.

This is the first "B" grade I got after a string of "As". I couldn't really accept this fact and I think I have an inkling why.

More Intellectual And Academic Rigor Tied To Practical Experience
First I was skipping lessons more often than I should and that is only because I wasn't enjoying Chris' lessons very much. In fact classes have now become a drag and motivation seems to be drying up.

Why? Because there wasn't as much academic or intellectual rigor as I was expecting. The lecturers were disappointing. If they had concentrated on making the concepts come alive in a fun and humorous way, I think we would have learned better. More so if they linked this to their practical experience.

Instead they veered off course most of the time and exams weren't testing on this.

For instance, I could think of teaching Freud's three human psyches in a fun and comical way while drawing on personal and practical experiences to connect to the concepts.

Broadening Perspectives, Well Said
Chris was still screening quite a few videos and trying to relate concepts to them. I couldn't see much "conflict" issues in "The Devil Wears Prada" but I could in "The Rain Man".

Worse, when I wrote my essay, I based my conflict with him to the book I read and not the models he was personally teaching only because I find that I could relate to the development of the conflict as in the book. Yes, some of his models are useful tools but they do need refinement and there was one or two I didn't find helpful.

He has to broaden his perspectives and understand that there are other CM models and we pick one which we can relate to.

After all the book was written by an Australian professor teaching in a 6th ranked university while Chris graduated from one that is ranked 19th.

Chris did lift material off from the book anyway.

So there...what has he got to say for himself?

You Are A Film Critic, We Are Movie Goers - Get The Roles Right (Newest)

2009-06-08T23:22:00.011+08:00

This Noodle Shop Had Closed But There Was Always Another Similar One Just Down The Road Anyway
I was sauntering past a row of shops and hoping to catch a quick eat at my favourite noodle shop (which had since closed) when I noticed the naked picture of popular HongKong star Edison Chen fronting the cover of The New Paper.

Oo What Is Edison Doing, Gracing Yet Another Cover Of A Tabloid? And A Local Tabloid At That! And We Thought That Scandal Was All Over Already, Didn't We?.......
Edison, if you do not already know, is the victim of a sex video scandal he had secretly filmed of himself with various famous HongKong starlets. Whoa Wee! Isn't Edison just cute naked? I mean he is slim fit, smooth bodied and has nice teats to match. Very seductive, very pretty boy, very fuckable!

Naturally I snapped up a copy at once.

A Nonsensical, Mindless And Brainless Piece Of Junk
It was then that I chanced upon a ridiculous piece written by a journalist about the 3D movie "Monsters Versus Aliens" she had watched at one of our many local cinplexes.

First she lamented how bad it was to be wearing the 3D goggles as she had to juggle writing down notes and reading SMSes in between watching the movie. At the end she had such a huge headache, she almost wished the animation wasn't screened in 3D.

She even dreaded more 3D movies in the pipeline and apparently "Monsters Versus Aliens" is just the first of a string of new animation movies that will be produced in 3-Dimension from thenceforth.

All I can say is that being the film-critic that she is held out to be, I empathise with her predicament. That is an unenviable job I suppose. Fortunately for the large majority of us who are mere movie-goers, not film journalists, we do not do what she does.

Therefore the note-taking, the SMSing simply do not stand.

In fact, for me, I enjoyed this animation movie in 3D so much that I am actually looking forward to the next one, Ice Age 3, which will also be screened in 3D.

So please, woman, you don't speak for the rest of us.......

I Love Orchard Central
It is gonna take at least a month more or so before this swanky high-end shopping mall is fully open.

But already it is beckoning to me from my bedroom window at night with its shimmering glow of blue, green, red and white.

Just like the Ion Orchard (40 odd days more to go before its grand opening) and The Illuma with its sweeping flash of white lights, these new malls are actually emitting radiant glows in the night. A totally new concept.

Speaking of new concepts, the Orchard Central has plenty of it. First, there are two basement levels of a Med concept which I initially thought meant Medical but soon learned it was actually Mediterranean. Though I don't see how the moniker actually lives up to its name but hey the label itself is enough to dazzle.

Then there is the Discovery Walk. I don't think this is open yet.

The Runway is really just that. With shops snaking its way all along it, customers could imagine themselves as fashion models sashaying down the runway while shopping.

The Ramp is a spiral of inclined walkways offering good window views of the Orchard Road shopping belt.

The Verandah is a balconied area where people could lean out, get a whiff of fresh air, sunlight and wind and also catch a good view.

Finally I am pretty sure two floors of a roof terrace, much like the Illuma's (though the latter offers a better view of the South China Sea and the Marina Bay area) would be a welcome city garden respite from the heat and the crowd (this is not open yet too).

Don't forget that not too many shopping malls offer tired feet several floors of cozy, plush, cushioned sofas to lounge in (that is like such a welcoming change) and you can be grateful the developers actually thought things through and have their customers' interest at heart.

Well done, Orchard Central! I can't wait for you to be fully open and I am sure I will be your loyal patron.

I Love Carl Jr's And Mos
Once I got started on their burgers, I just couldn't stop.

At Carl's, the beef and chicken patties were charbroiled and I suppose that was what made them juicy, dripping, tasty delicious. They were unlike any other run-of-the-mill patties I have ever tasted.

Mos has the best rice burgers ever. Of course this isn't the first time I ran into them. I had my first taste of one at Macs during a CNY promo of its rice burgers light years ago.

Small enough to feed a toddler, the rice burgers were, nonetheless, a class of its own. Tasty lip-smacking sauce that tickles your taste buds along with the various meaty patties.

Yummy yum!

Yes, You Too, My Boy! *Wink Wink*
I must admit that sometimes it isn't all about looks and appearance.

Take for instance, my class right now.

There is this guy who if I had just taken him at face value, would never ever have made it on my "MUST SEX WITH" list.

But after a day of working with him on a class discussion project, I discovered that he was kinda charming, nice and cheerful despite all that we threw at him. In short, a pleasant and good-natured disposition and humorous to the end.

You know what, he is now on that list of mine, in addition to the other five.

Watch your butt, my boy!

Another Drag

2009-06-04T08:55:00.006+08:00

Once More With Fuck, Mother Fuckers!
If they think I am gonna have the drive, ambition, passion and energy to start all over again by taking away everything I have, think real hard. It is not going to happen. Nor am I gonna be driven to anyone or anything. Save for people I love.

And yes, any feelings I may have for my ex-roomie are already gangrously dead. I was asking myself what I saw in him and did we even have anything in the first place when I ran into him twice. At best I am just indifferent to him.

Meanwhile, I am watching what the end entails and I am prepared. I come with nothing, I leave nothing and I will just go. As it is, life holds very little existential meaning for me right now. I can't even find a suitable roomie up till now.

I am almost half dead, what with physical health problems and the constant spectre of my financial woes looming over me the last half year. Just when I thought my life was picking up its little pieces, they TAKE EVERYTHING away from me.

Fuck you!

Henry, I Have To Agree To Disagree With You On Occasion
Henry is one BIG TALK COCK KING! He does of course speak with some experience (of his counselling work, for sure) and I do agree with him on many occasions. I tolerate and bear with his funny anecdotes , sick as some are, only because they ARE FUNNY and I do laugh along. But it stops there!

Like Chris, if he thinks I am turning to him for counselling, he is dead wrong. It is one cliche after another that shows very little understanding of the unique circumstances surrounding each and every individual case. In fact, I don't think he has experienced very much himself on other facets of human life.

Being theologically inclined, he was quoting Old and New Testament and I thought for people with different religious faiths in the class and a secular education that we are receiving, that this was unwarranted.

It isn't very pleasant to speak with him on a personal basis because he really shoots off his mouth like anything. Shrewd or whatever you wanna label it as.

I am sorry I can't identify with him very much and teacher-pupil we remain.

And unless I am surer what this school and class people stand for, I will remain very cautious. Since my class have a fairer than fair proportion of people of different religious faiths, I can guess how they probably have some anti-gay and gay-conversion agenda.

Movies Galore

2009-06-03T08:16:00.004+08:00

Angels And Demons
I thought "X-Men:Wolverine" and "Star Trek" weren't exactly as exciting as their predecessors were. But then again I was never a fan of "Star Trek" and therefore had no precedent to compare it with.

I only watched "Dive" because of the three cute, young, hot Japanese male stars who were in skin most of the time and had hot butts which they variously exposed. Plus the rest of the cute, young, hot Japanese boy stars.

However the sequel to Ron Howard's "Da Vinci Code" , "Angels And Demons" didn't disappoint. The pace was fast as Robert Langdon (aka Tom Hanks) raced against time to locate and rescue the four cardinals captured by the "Illuminati". He had to finally find the anti-matter they stole and destroy it before it destroys the whole of Rome. But alas, his efforts only saw the fourth cardinal surviving the ordeal.

Three people in the plot met their fiery ends. The 3rd cardinal was thrown into a bonfire. The van that one Illuminati "terrorist" drove exploded into a ball of fire. And the adopted son of the dead Pope, hoping to be the heir to the Papal throne, self-immolated himself.

The movie's end had a telling moral - All men (and women), are flawed and fallible. Nobody escapes this inevitable truth, not even the Holy See.

Monsters Versus Aliens
What makes this movie stands out was its 3D animation.

All the action and drama literally popped out, leaping out at you into your face as it happened.

The plot was simple enough with monsters on the one side fighting against aliens. Monsters, as we were to know it, weren't really monsters at all. Take the case of Susan. She got hit by a meteorite on her wedding day and was infused with a meteorite gunk. So she glowered and just grew and grew in size.

She met the rest of the gang of monsters, Dr Cockroach, Insectivore, The Link and Bob and together they fight the evil alien who has ambition of conquering Earth. In the process Susan learned about her strengths and finally ditched her jerk of a fiance.

What can I say? You ain't see nothing yet if you didn't catch this 3D version.

The DPS And The Singapore Flyer (Updated)

2009-05-31T01:03:00.006+08:00

An Auto Opt-In Dependants Protection Scheme - Is It Necessary Coverage When The CPF Money Already Has An Intestacy Law And A Nomination Scheme To Back It Up?
Guess what! When the renewal notice came up again this year, I took a really good look and asked myself why in the world have I been paying for the DPS for 20 good years of my life?

First, any CPF money which is usually tied up in our HDB asset, already comes with a nomination. If you don't nominate, it gets distributed according to the law of intestacy anyway.

So why is there this additional DPS coverage and is it necessary? It stops once you reach 60 and that to me is a critical year. This is the time you need it more than ever but somehow, this has eluded our policy-makers.

With these thoughts in mind, I decided to terminate my DPS there and then on the spot.

The Singapore Flyer
Not bad. It offered quite a unique experience. But of course , I soon learnt from a Chinese friend that they already have this ferris wheel back home in Nanchang, Jiangxi Province, China, god-knows-back-when.

However, I thought that as it stands now, the Singapore Flyer wasn't very accessible especially to people who do not drive or wanna take the shuttle bus. I had to get off the City Hall MRT station, exit the Esplanade gateway and walk all the way to the Singapore Flyer. Past concrete pavement and construction works-in-progress.

It was much like the Marina Barrage, a beautifully completed piece of sculpture but stranded out in no-man's land with all the surrounding dust, dirt, fumes and noise from construction works-in-progress.

There were more dining places here at the Singapore Flyer than there were retail shops. So there really wasn't very much to do except to eat save for the branded eye-wear and crocodile skin shops.

The gift shop was excellent. It had a colorful facade that attracted me from far and I was drawn to visit it at first sight because it was lighted up at night with various assorted colors. The gifts and souvenirs sold were also very uniquely us and the Singapore Flyer attraction.

I am sure in the day, the Flyer offers a good view of the deep blue sea and the surrounding skyline save for that blob of soil that is the Marina South Gardens By The Bay.

But in the night, it was one dark black blob and one black waterway. The view fronting the Marina Centre was of course a delight with all the city lights such as The Fullerton, the durianed Esplanade and the domed former Supreme Court now dubbed the Arts House.

As it rained earlier, some glass panels gathered mist and I wasn't able to look out through them. True, once the Flyer hit its peak, it was certainly a "Top Of The World" feeling (lyrics of a song popularised by The Carpenters) and I almost broke out into the song at that moment.

However boarding and alighting the Flyer while it was inching its way forward was a tad dangerous I thought though there were safety nets.

With the Flyer already in operation since March 2008, I am sure this night view can be further improved and enhanced with more city lights or street lights and lights lighting up the beautiful waterways.

Or do we still have to wait some more?